#lovereads

Born in the 90's, relationships can get very tricky. One side there is a pool of choices and options available on your one click  and on the other hand it is the heart longing for that long lasting, raw , romantic connection. And somehow it becomes a side gig once you enter your 30's , single, trying out there in the world of relationship couture.   But as we all know that one needs to experience something before having an opinion, so I did. A conscious step of experiencing the world of online dating. It wasn't too late when I learnt how exotic at the same time emotionally draining this process could be. Now here is the thing not that my early dating life without the internet charisma was smooth and steady. It was a rollercoaster ride of  its own, but at least there was a chance to be in that rollercoaster ride. Whereas, in the modern dating world, before you could know someone else may be buying the ticket of it. And here I  was playing  by my own rules and after being for almost close to couple of months, communicating back and forth with multiple guys. Sometimes not even managing to have a chat which goes beyond how your day is going to the impromptu after hours coffee dates or those amazing late nights / weekend drives, I finally started to wonder when  it is going to  take another turn where I don't end up meeting and sharing a courtesy hug or kiss , or even sometimes just a handshake. Instead, I can have a  dumbest conversation with him and develop a real connection over food , fashion, stories or travel, with no rush of getting into labels. Be it casual or serious or hookup or booty call or any other terminology I may have forgotten to mention here. But my brain on the other hand decided to quit and that is when he right swiped me, While I saw that notification with being all exhausted, his eyes did bring the exact dating freshness I needed in my life. That click, that first non effort pull I was waiting all this while, the only difference was that instead of old school in person first sight, it was his pictures some with scenic photography and some of him with his beautiful eyes. With the urge of knowing him, My heart just nodded to send him a reply of - HI.  And that is the very moment I got convinced with a fresh new thought , that sure a lot of choices can bring different confusion , fast interest and faster the disinterest but with me trying back and exploring, cant be that bad an idea? And there I was  pushing myself AGAIN in the bubble of - To try or not to try?

It was exactly that moment When I looked at the moon, I suddenly thought about me, yes I thought about myself. I can define myself the same way I define the moon No matter how dark it gets around it, it shines out. But somehow I think it’s still sad She’s alone. Look, there are so many stars accompanying her throughout the way And yet, there she is.. painfully waiting for you You’re like…

Naramdaman mo na ba ‘yon?

Meeting the person for the first time in the most unexpected place at kasunod nun ay ‘di mo namamalayang kahit hindi ka naghahanap, biglang para mo nalang nakasama ang taong matagal mo nang hinihintay?

Then you’ll talk about every damn thing for the first time but the conversation is so easy, so familiar, so home-y. And you’re right! The next thing you know, you’ve fallen for them and their soul and the ridiculously ecstatic connection that no one else has ever given you. 

But the plot twist is that the very connection needs to immediately die. Bakit? Kasi may nauna na sa puso niya at wala nang lugar para sa isa pa. 'Yung bigla ka nalang mapapakanta ng “Red” ni Taylor Swift na, “loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street; faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ended so suddenly”.

Oo naman, sayang talaga. Once in a blue moon na nga lang may kumonekta sa kaluluwa mo ng ganun kalala tapos patikim lang pala ng tadhana. 

Nag-click pala eh bakit hindi ko ipinaglaban? 

Kasi sabi nga sa title ng blog post na ‘to, “It’s Never A Wrong Timing If It’s The Right Person”. Sometimes, the most unexpected people stop by only to check if you’re still keeping up with your values, your grounds, and even your sanity. Hindi lahat ng inaalok sa’yo ay para sa’yo.