#loveisconfusing

Its weird because, I enjoy his company, is soul, heart, mind.

I like that he cares for the same culture and that he's so smart.

I'm afraid I care about the things that don't matter like looks and his choice of clothing. but then i feel like if this goes long term and I'm not physically attracted... then it might not work out again.

I don't know why im putting myself in these situations. I also remember i wanted to have someone with all his characteristics and when i thought i found them i was starstruck. but then I couldn't move on.

so am I just still stuck on the starstruck guy I can't see the good in anyone? am I still starstruck where I cant find love the natural way?

I think I might be afraid of commitment? or is it afraid of what others will say? It shouldn't be this confusing right?

but it also is only a week in, so we might have some time?

I'm also concerned he's emotionally available and mature and I'm not. not because of age but because he's able to articulate what he feels and wants and I don't.

i feel your teeth; the sharp points like needles

cutting into me.

You bite me open

and make me your slave.

  the sweet taste of the air

tingles down

The sweet rise of the memory of your lips

reminds me how

i felt

    Feeling far away

feeling as if these dreams may stay

  and as that ship sailed i watched into the horizon

i said goodbye

I watched the shadows form

i couldn't breathe but i could go

I began to fly

  And as the dark shadows of the afternoon fell

They created a flag that reflected onto the pools

as they formed waves, they saw them gliding back and forth

that dark shadow circling.

it is there now

  it has landed

  and it will stay there.

I have a question for you all. Right now I'm good friends with a guy from college. We've been talking for a while now and we've planned a few dates, but they never worked out with both our schedules. Here's where it gets complicated. This new guy started at work two weeks ago. I don't know him at all (we've only talked briefly once or twice). I've stalked checked out his facebook page and he seems to be an okay guy, but I don't feel anything romantically for him. My friend and fellow coworker knows him from outside of work and she told me tonight that he thinks I'm cute and he wants to go see a movie with me that's coming out really soon. How do I tell him that I'd rather go out with college guy? College guy and I aren't dating yet, but I hope we will in the future. 

So, my question is, what do I tell coworker? I don't want to make anything awkward between us. I may be interested in the distant future if it doesn't work out with college guy, but I want to get to know him better first. Personality is a big make-or-breaker for me. Or do I accept the movie and go and see what he's like? I also don't want to push college guy away if he finds out that I went to see a movie with another guy.