#lovedove

He looks at the flowers like they are a grenade in his hand that he forgot he picked up.

He brings them to his nose and takes a deep and much needed breath in. The pungent scent of earth and sweet velvet.

He takes another deep breath in. A breath so deep it fills his stomach and he can almost taste the petals.

Creamy honey, crisp apples, juicy oranges, soft figs. Like the plates his mom used to bring him while he played in the dirt as a kid.

For a moment, it all goes away. The anxiety, the stress, the fear.

He feels it all melt away with every exhale. Finally a moment of peace in such a terribly loud place and a horribly loud mind.

Inhale the scent of home.

Exhale the feeling of drowning

Inhale

Exhale

In

Out

“Konig! The fuck are you doing?”

The soldier in him comes back to the surface and turns his whole body rigid.

He faces the familiar voice. “Horangi, finally. Got turned around and my comms must not work underground. Did you get eyes on the perp?”

Horangi stares at him for a moment, flowers and all. “Yeah.. Yes. We've been trying to give you direction but you stopped responding. They sent me down here to do recon.”

He knows. He heard. He didnt care. Not when the panic settled in his bones.

“Apologies. Like I said, comms must not work down here.”

“Yeah, well, we lost the target so we have orders to head back.”

“Understood.”

They begin to walk back to the entrance

“Whats with the flowers?”

“Dropped by a civilian.” he shoots Horangi a look that says ‘ask more, I dare you’

They walk the rest of the way in silence.

------------------------------------------------

Back at home base a shitty apartment with the thinnest walls he lays in his bed that he doesnt fit in with the flowers on his chest and his eyes closed, practicing the breathing techniques his older sister taught him.

Inhale for 5

Your smile

Hold for 5

Your eyes

Exhale for 10

Your voice

Hold for 5

Your ass

Repeat

He plays with the red beaded bracelet his younger sister made for him to fidget when his hands would shake. He needs to focus on this mission and getting his mind right. Kortac has been bleeding him dry for the last year. Mission after mission. Sleepless nights, confidential files, torture, meetings, memorize intel, phone calls, long flights, recon, knife wound, weeks at sea, bad intel, fights with Horangi, kill after kill after kill after kill after kill kill kill so much blood on his hands. 

He just needs a break. And a good fuck

He needs to finish this op. Then he can breathe.

He hoists himself up off the tiny bed while still holding the flowers. While upside down something inside the parchment paper falls on to the floor.

He picks it up.

A little brown envelope.

He opens it and slips out the paper inside.

It’s okay to step away from the world sometimes but you don't have to suffer in silence. Life has a funny way of teaching you that being soft is a strength and that there is nothing brave in walking alone.

@ StrangeFlowers

Not sure when I’ll post part three I’m still working on it!

K luv u byeee💋

Love,