#love simone

if you like Selah and the Spades you should watch Birds of Paradise ♡

♡ themes/motifs ♡

~ girlhood/female friendships

~ academic pressure

Chapter 1,  Chapter 2,   Chapter 3,   Chapter 4

Sorry for not posting an update in so long guys! Finally got around to Chapter 5, hope you all like it!

Words: 1442 It had been several weeks since Simone had caught you with your pants down in the shack at school. She had tried to process her feelings, but all of them had led to an answer that she was too afraid to confront. Was she really jealous of the fact that you had been making out with someone who wasn't her? Or was it just fear that she was not the only girl in your heart anymore? Emily had never thought about being with women, but now that she has taken time to think about it, there was no one she’d rather be with than you.

All of these questions seemed to lead to one conclusion: Emily wanted to be with you, as more than a friend. However, that also begged the question of how long she had been feeling this way. Emily liked men, that much was for certain. But now, there seemed to be a possibility that she liked women too, a possibility that she had never considered before. Sure, she had looked at attractive girls a certain way, but she never considered being with them an option. It seemed like her feelings wanted to be known, but she was just too scared to admit it. There was no doubt that she had always liked you, she’s just never considered being with you an option until now.

With these thoughts swirling around her mind, she thought it would be best to search online for people who may have felt exactly what she was feeling now. She knew she was most likely not the first person (or the last) to feel this way about her best friend.

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It wasn’t like you had been cheating on her or anything, so there was no reason for her to be mad or upset about what you had done. The thing was...she was acting distant like somehow your friendship had changed just because you decided to move on and be with someone else.

There were only a few people who were “out” at school, and Emily thought that it would be best to enlist the help of people who may have gone through what she is experiencing at the moment. She was finally directed to the teacher who most of the students knew to be gay. It felt scary going up to a teacher to ask questions about their sexuality, but Emily believed that if anyone knew what she was going through, it would be Ms. van der Woodsen.

“Hi Ms. Woodsen, can I ask you a question?”

“Yes, Emily is it? How can I help you? Besides, you can call me Serena when we’re not in class.”

“I think I have a problem. My best friend, who has recently come out to me as a lesbian, has found someone who she seems to like. I don’t have a problem with that, but it seems like I don’t like it at the same time. It feels like the person she found can’t treat her right, only I know everything my friend likes. But I’ve only ever dated guys, and I don’t think I’ve ever felt, you know, like that towards any of the girls I’ve been around.”

Serena smiled as she looked at Emily. “I believe the word you’re looking for is ‘jealousy’.”

“Pfft, why would I be jealous? I don’t even know for certain if I like girls, that way.”

“Well, in my opinion, the fact that you’re here to tell me about how you feel about your friend shows a lot. Maybe more than you know. I think it would be best to go home and think about why you went through all the trouble of figuring out why you feel the way you do. Maybe taking a few nights to think it over will clear things up.”

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As time went on, Emily realized that she couldn’t find a good reason as to why she went through all the trouble of finding out why you being in a relationship with Taylor was bothering her. All of her reasons came back to an image of you and her, together holding hands. Even the thought of the two of you together in her bedroom, laughing until your sides hurt, made Emily miss you. The fact was that Emily has had feelings for you ever since the two of you started spending time with each other. Sure, her feelings had been platonic (or so she thought), but ever since she realized you were a lesbian it was like there was something different between the two of you. Maybe there might be something more between the two of you if she wanted to take the leap.

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Emily absent-mindedly rode her bike up and down her block as she waited for you to come over. Her parents had left for the day, and she knew that the two of you could have the privacy to talk about what’s been on her mind. Finally, she saw your car pull up in her driveway and ran over to open the gate.

After you walked with her into her house, there came a period of awkward silence as the two of you sat, waiting for the other to speak first. Finally, it was Emily who broke the silence.

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you. Several weeks in fact.” You saw Emily’s face lower in embarrassment. This caused you to hesitate from making any more scathing remarks about Emily’s recent behavior. Maybe she wanted to use this chance to explain why she had been acting so strange around you.

“Well. I guess I should explain myself a bit, huh?” Emily fiddled with the cup in front of her, and it seemed like she couldn’t (or wouldn’t) meet you in the eye. You waited for her to speak as the silence stretched on. Minutes seemed to drag on for hours as Emily opened and closed her mouth several times. “I don’t have any problem with you being gay.”

“Which hasn’t been demonstrated by the fact that you have been avoiding me for the past few weeks. Ever since you caught me making out with Taylor.”

“Why did you keep that relationship from me? I thought we were friends! We told each other everything.”

“We are friends! I didn’t think it mattered that much! It wasn’t like my ‘relationship’ with Taylor was serious or anything. It wasn’t important enough for me to say anything!”

“It’s just that --” Emily’s voice cracked. It hurt you to see her like this, tears in her eyes and not looking directly at you. “It just seems like things have changed ever since you came out. I know you’re still you, but it just seems like something between us has changed. What’s wrong, Simone?”

“Because you’re you, Emily. We’ve been friends since kindergarten, and I’ve realized I have been in love with you ever since the day we met. Ever since I realized I had feelings for you, I knew that I would do anything to be with you. Whether it means I get to be with you the way I want truly want to be or being your best friend and pretending I’m not in love with you, I knew I would do anything for you.”

Emily looked down awkwardly and fiddled with the cup in front of her. “You know, I’ve been thinking of me. Of my feelings, more specifically.”

“What about your feelings?”

“I’ve been thinking about why I’ve been acting weird for the past couple of weeks. I don’t know, it might be because I’m feeling jealous.”

“Jealous about what?” This situation was becoming more and more confusing by the second.

“Jealous over the fact that you liked someone, and that person wasn’t me. That has been why I’ve been avoiding you. I didn’t how to react to the way I was feeling.” Once Emily started talking, it was like she wanted to get everything out in one go before she could stop herself.

“So...what are you saying? That you have feelings for me too?”

Again, there was a long period of silence before Emily spoke. “I am saying that I believe I’ve always liked you. As a best friend, and possibly as something more.”

“Does that mean that you want to be with me?”

“Maybe we can figure this out? Over dinner? At your favorite place?” Emily looked scared, afraid that her actions had pushed you away for good.

aww thank you! so I always love having like a mascot to answer my asks and she’s been mine for like a little over two years now on all my blogs cause well she’s adorable.

Bc I REALLY need a relatable bi teen having a gay crisis ™ over a cute homosexual.

An announcement: the first chapter of “Love, Simone” is going live TOMORROW at 2:30 PST (American Pacific Standard time)