...Uhhhh...Hi

my partner doesn’t use pet names nearly as much as i do, which is very funny because i will crack my gay little knuckles and say some shit like “good morning my sun and moon, my loveliest boy, my baby my sweetheart my darling dearest” and he will reply “hello adrian”

genuinely one of my favourite details about Bram Stokers Dracula that isn't really transferred to the pop culture is that vampires have irridescent eyes, they appear brown at a glance, however when light is reflected on them they seem to go red!

also like the cowboy part can we please stop omitting the fact that there is a real ass cowboy in Bram Stokers Dracula and hes from real ass Texas and he has a fucking gun and he tries to fucking shoot Dracula

you have to consciously unlearn racism and continue to watch for it because it will come out without realizing. because so much of society is structured around it. shrugging and going "i dont care" or "i dont know how else to say it" means you are okay with being racist and hurting other people with how much you dont give a shit about them.

A small, enraged sweet pea

there's a trojan war suburban au that only exists in my and izzie @wizardjail's heads where agamemnon owns a greek restaurant chain that keeps buying up other restaurants and priam has a family-owned turkish restaurant, and also all their kids go to the same schools. paris comes home from college and has an affair with helen, and in revenge the atreides try to destroy priam's business. they get odysseus involved because he's their only friend with a real business degree. odysseus files a disability claim to get out of contract but palamedes pushes telemachus' stroller into traffic, forcing odysseus to sprint after it to rescue him. agamemnon 'ruins iphigenia's future' by taking the minivan when she was supposed to be at an archery tournament, thus missing her chances of getting scouted; after which agamemnon and clytemnestra get divorced, but keep having more kids, because odysseus is anonymously suicide-baiting agamemnon and unintentionally driving him back to his ex-wife's arms. the pta is in shambles.

priam and hecuba have an open marriage. hektor is master chef; paris went to, like, juilliard but has no interest in cooking, which is his family's standard of masculinity for some reason. troilus is hecuba's son with local pharmaceutical company owner apollo. one time at the town's yearly all-ages charity soccer game, achilles got way too into it and illegally body-checked a 12-year-old troilus and broke his arm. apollo was in the bleachers and now has beef with this high schooler. he releases 1,000 mice into agamemnon's restaurants so they fail their health inspection. despite being, like, 17, achilles is too fucking good at his restaurant job so they keep giving him just way more responsibility than he should be trusted with. he's a branch manager. when he gets promoted patroclus solemnly dons his gyro mascot uniform

quitting my job to be a full time upstairs neighbor. bowling balls are in the mail as we speak

hi besties in my phone. i hope today is so so good to you. i hope something special happens to remind you that it’s not always bad. ily.

I imagine the Hollanders all have different levels of magnification for their reading glasses & sometimes there’s a bit of a shuffle where Shane picks up David’s and is like dad, are you even safe to drive anymore? And Ilya just fondly watches their identical looks of concentration as everyone studies their menus