#louspersonalpost

My definition of a perfect Sunday includes: Sleeping in, cuddling in bed while having coffee and tea, making a late breakfast or an early lunch, doing crossword puzzles, drinking more coffee and tea, taking a hot shower together, putting on our comfiest clothes, slow dancing in the kitchen to our favorite songs, going for a short walk and enjoying nature together, coming home and cuddling up on the sofa, watching our comfort show or movie, doing some parallel play, taking a nap while holding each other, preparing and eating dinner together, cleaning up the kitchen, getting ourselves ready for an early night, me doing my skincare in bed while sitting in their lap, cuddling up and falling asleep in each other's arms.

I think the essence of "growing up" is deciphering your own struggles that you've always thought of as unexplainable, as deeply rooted in how you grew up. It's realizing that the things you struggle with (i.e. anger issues, an unhealthy attachment style, etc.) are directly linked to your parents' inability to express and process their own emotions in a healthy way. I see myself in so many dysfunctional behaviors of my parents that it makes me want to cry and scream and throw kitchenware at anyone near me. But that won't solve the problem - I'll have to dismantle these behaviors and try to heal myself. But one thing is very clear to me: this cycle of dysfunctional behavioral structures and toxicity ends with me.