lost promises ~ p.s.h. [TOXIC ENHA SERIES]
warning: dark/mature themes + SMUT. read at your own risk.
PART 3.5 PART 3.5 PART 3.5 PART 3.5 PART 3.5
- WRITTEN WRITTEN WRITTEN WRITTEN -
sunghoon’s eyes focused on the concrete floor outside of your dorm. though it was barely afternoon, the world around him was dark and cold.
you came to the door and opened it abruptly, the cold air hitting your bare face. before you could even make out who was there, his whole body crashed onto you which forced you to take a few steps back into your small living room, your right cheek pressed up against his chest.
his arms wrapped around you firmly in a way that you knew you couldn’t protest, so you just mirrored the action— feeling on edge over the night before.
“i missed you so fucking much,” sunghoon’s voice cracked which made you pull away and look up at him. his ears were red and his eyes were a slight shade of purple which you rarely ever saw. he had been crying for sure, and you could see it clearly now how horrible he felt.
“sunghoon..” you trailed off, not exactly knowing what to say to comfort him. the truth was, you were hurting too. you always felt like you were hurting. you always felt on edge, pathetic, and unsure of how much longer you could be happy with sunghoon before another fight arose. the promises he made over the phone seemed sincere, but then again nothing ever changed
no matter how much you tried to push back. no matter how much you wanted to believe it. believe him.
you brought your hand up to his face and his eyes instinctively fluttered shut, slightly rubbing his cheek against your touch.
he brought his hand up to yours holding onto your delicate wrist softly, opening his eyes to look at you. you were indescribably beautiful. sunghoon closed the gap between you, kissing you with initial softness but then almost instantly more bite— as if he had needed this, needed you. the roughness of his lips caused you to pull back as you hated the familiarity of this type of kiss. the anger still remained in his body, grasping your wrist tighter as you pulled away.
“sunghoon… we have to talk.” you moved your hand but it was no use.
his expression softened and became solemn. he let go of you and looked at the floor once again, in complete guilt of what had happened between you two.
truthfully, he was drunk the night before. but you were right, everything he had said was exactly what he had been thinking all along. he was so angry at you, even now. but instead, the feeling of utter shame took over.
it was disgusting to want you to feel the same pain he had.
sunghoon had always told himself he could never hurt you. but he knew he did, time and time again. and that was selfish. he knew it was selfish to keep you with him even if you wanted space. he knew it was selfish to not give you another chance to earn back his trust. and he knew it was selfish to want you to be entirely his.
he sunk down to the floor, a mix of exhaustion and a sense of relief from finally being with you again. the trip wasn’t exactly long, but knowing you were here, by yourself, bothered him in more ways he could imagine. sunghoon needed you more than he needed anything else.
looking down in regret, he couldn’t bare to face what you wanted to say to him, and he knew that his feelings would soften your heart a bit. sunghoon was a model, but he always knew how to act.
you sighed softly. his apologies were always like this. and time and time again you had fallen for the sudden shifts.
his voice shuddered, “please,” he looked up at you now, “i’m so sorry y/n…”
a wave of guilt washed over you. but why were you feeling guilty now? was it your fault he was so upset?
this vulnerability… his pride completely unraveling in front of you dazed you. it wasn’t like this hadn’t happened before, but a strange yet familiar feeling burned in your stomach.
you whispered for him to please get up but he shook his head rapidly, undeserving of any forgiveness you were about to offer him.
“it’s okay really..” you sat down on the couch behind you, him kneeling directly in front. “i just— i don’t want you to be mad at me anymore.. and i don’t know how or if you’ll be able to let go of that anger.”
sunghoon’s eyes darkened a little, in an inconspicuous way that sent a shiver down your spine. “i won’t be mad anymore y/n,” he shook his head innocently, “i promise.”
you knew he was lying. “but i just— i just want to understand why you were so mad at me. what did i do? i mean i listened to you… i stayed home. i thought we were doing so well and—“
“we are doing well,” sunghoon’s hands found the sides of your legs and his fingers grazed them gently. “i was drunk… and the models— i mean both the girls and boys were wondering why i kept refusing anyone that would come up to me. and so i began talking about you… and they began asking more and more questions and making me drink and i just said everything on my mind. the party… heeseung… all of it. they began to say how i didn’t deserve that.. and just kept saying all of these things and so i flipped the fuck out. and i’m sorry for taking it out on you… they were wrong. i was wrong. i shouldn’t be so upset… i was the one who wanted you back.”
his voice was teary and incomprehensible at times, but you sat there and made out his words slowly nonetheless. “i know you don’t love me as much as i love you…” a tear ran down his left eye and he bit back the lump growing in his throat, “and it just fucking hurts.”
you shook your head immediately, “sunghoon.. that’s not true. i love you so much.” you brought your hand to his face and he looked at you, eyes glassy. “if i could change the way things happened— i would. i’m trying so hard to understand you because i love you. please don’t cry..”
“i’m sorry— i just. it hurts me.. everything hurts. my heart… my head.. my whole body. it hurts so much that you even left me in the first place… and then heeseung— fuck.” he wrapped his arms around your waist now, hiding his face. your fingers intertwined with his hair. “i’m sorry. i won’t bring it up anymore. it doesn’t matter… you’re with me. and that’s all i want.”
you felt horrible. the things hurting him weren’t things you could change, and he wouldn’t want you to give him space to get over it either.
“what can i do to make this better?”
he slowly moved out from around your stomach and looked up at your face again. this time, he didn’t look so helpless.
the kiss was vicious, almost a blur. he leaned into your mouth and wrapped his hand around the back of your neck so you couldn’t pull away. your back hit the support of the couch and your lips began to feel sore. his although moved rapidly, tongue pressing against yours. his gentleness from minutes ago had completely vanished, giving you no room to argue.
he moved from your mouth to putting kisses on your jaw— then neck. the oversized t-shirt and shorts you wore weren’t exactly sexy. but to sunghoon, you looked more beautiful than ever. all he could do while he was away was think about you. he felt to guilty to even begin to think about touching himself… when he knew you could do it so much better.
he lifted your shirt slightly, moving slowly down your body. all of the emotions he was feeling began to numb as he put all of his focus on you.
“sunghoon..” you said, breathlessly. everything he was doing, even if they were just kisses, felt so good. you couldn’t even pretend to want to stop.
“shh…” he kissed above the hem of your shorts and brought his fingers up to them, tugging on them gently. “i missed you so much..”
all of his words were interrupted with soft kisses. he pulled your shorts away, revealing the wetness that stained your pink underwear.
his mind felt foggy, and all he wanted to do was make you feel good. he wanted to hear your voice— make you happy.
sunghoon touched you gently and then pulled them off in one rapid movement, looking up at you.
your eyes had closed and you were biting your lip, anticipating what was to come. “no.. baby look at me.”
you slowly blinked and looked down, your face burning red with both embarrassment and arousal.
he didn’t close his eyes when putting his mouth on you, tasting the sweet flavor of how much you wanted him. his lips and mouth were perfect, moving against you as if he was kissing again. he looked up and saw the almost pained expression on your face, urging him to move even faster. he glided his tongue everywhere, dipping it inside of you causing you to gasp loudly, unable to keep your moans quiet any longer. it felt too good to even comprehend.
he whispered quiet cuss words against you, rutting his hips for friction to be met with nothing but the couch. he was so hard… and he had been for the past few days thinking about you. the phone sex could never compare to being with you in reality.
that feeling building between your legs and in your stomach was growing quickly, and you felt the rush of release coming. you gasped out, moaning against your will and gripping onto sunghoon’s hair harder than you wanted to.
“sunghoon…” you looked down at him, his cheeks a beautiful shade of pink and satisfaction dripping from his mouth. your hands quickly found his shirt, and you pulled it off of him— lips finding his. you could taste yourself on him, and he groaned at the dirty idea of you tasting your own sweet cum.
you knew how hard he was, his abs pulsing as though he was trying to hold back cumming there and then. you guided him to your room, and he couldn’t help but be amused by the purity your whole life encompassed when that was anything further from the truth. he knew in the back of his mind that you knew better than you let on… which simultaneously angered and intrigued him.
you pushed him onto the bed. he was never much of a talker… but you wanted to hear his voice right now.
you began to unbuckle his belt and slide down his pants, revealing his painfully hard dick. he was so big and warm and beautiful… you couldn’t help but want him even more knowing you were the only person who had ever had him before.
before your mouth could reach him he quickly stopped you, “y/n… i want to be inside of you.. please…” he begged, wanting nothing but to feel the tight flush of your folds around him. you moved your hips, laying your wetness all over his lower stomach. he gripped your waist and whined, the anticipation becoming too much to bear. his fingers dug into your body, almost hurting enough to tear into your skin.
“fuck—“ he moved his hips up for any feeling of relief but found none, his dick rubbing only slightly against the back of your ass.
“i want you to feel good baby…” you whispered, leaning down to kiss him again. you wanted him to forget that anger. he kissed you back with a hunger even more desperate than before, moaning against your lips.
“please fuck me… i’ll do anything— shit i promise!” he whined once again, moving his hips up at nothing.
you broke the kiss, biting his lip gently. you looked down and positioned himself against your entrance, feeling the pain of it already. you looked into his eyes as you began to sink down.
the feeling was indescribable, for the both of you. it wasn’t exactly like you haven’t been intimate before.. yet you never got used to the size of him, and he never got used to how tight you felt around him.
sunghooned groaned, moaning at the sight of you sinking down on him. his face scrunched up in a way that let you know he was almost about to cum already.
he switched positions in order for you to be the one of your back now, pulling in and out of you rapidly. he bit his lip to numb the feeling building inside of him. it felt so good, and he knew you would take what he wanted to give you.
you gasped loudly, the mix of pin and pleasure ripping into you. “you’re so pretty..” sunghoon kissed you more, on the verge of cumming just by the look on your face. he was completely and utterly obsessed with you. he loved the fact that no one else has ever had you like this— that no one else ever would. “you’re all mine.” he gasped out, his motions becoming even rougher.
as you both fell apart, sunghoon’s moans were the ones that clouded the room, his warm cum filling you so deeply that you felt as if it could come out of your throat. how vocal he was tonight amused you, even though you could feel in the back of your mind that there was a bit of anger behind the way he moved.
“fuck— i love you. shit…” he pulled out of you gently.. the sight of your delicate body almost making him hard again.
“do you feel good baby?” you said gently, kissing him again.
“yes— i promise. fuck i love you so much…” he laid beside you, kissing your neck and wrapping his arm around your body. the exhaustion dripped from you both, barely getting any sleep from the night before.
the mental pain slowly rushed back, reality setting in on the fact that the relationship you shared was ruining the both of you. “please don’t leave me…” sunghoon trailed off, shuddering, his eyes blinking shut, the sting behind his words causing your stomach to drop.
—you knew exactly how far he’d go to make sure that would never happen.
—————————————————————————
when you woke up and looked beside you instinctively— sunghoon wasn’t there.
though he preferred you waking up together after sex, from time to time he would go out to get food and medicine before you had woken up. so there was no reason to question it.
though what worried you wasn’t his absence… but rather the way the position of your phone from your nightstand had faltered from the place it was the night before.
notes: omgggg the written portion is here 🌝🌝. sorry it’s a bit long this is my first time writing smut so please be nice… LMAOO. ik it’s not the best but i will improve! and basicallyyyy i love sunghoon and i would also be folding if i was y/n ✌️ though he’s not super talkative here, please keep in mind he is trying to hold back his feelings and emotions so he doesn’t drive y/n away.. but lmk if ur excited for the next part and please continue to support my works and interact!! i’ve spoiled y’all it might be a little bit until next update 💗
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