#lostinpink

I hope your dog gets better :(

thanks, thats nice of you !

It's pretty short compared to the other DA books, but it is really good, and it gives a lot of good insight into DA:I. 

Slight spoilers below. [What you'd know from in-game.]

Screams Screams of children as they burn The first to die as the blast rips through their weak bodies Scream of their mothers As they watch Helplessly Screams of the leaders As they watch their people die Knowing they are next The explosion radiates in all directions Like a tidal wave It picks up speed With every new explosion Making it grow Until it is a wall of fire Engulfing the world Screams now from other worlds Other children feeling the burn Other mothers crying For children not their own Other leaders watching the empire fall They are connected One people One heart They cry In fear In rage They plan

Gasping awake, Newt shakes violently as sweat pools under him. It was just a dream. Or so he liked to tell himself. This was the fifth night in a row with dreams like this. It was only five nights since the the victory and the closing of the Throat. But in his head it felt like an eternity. All day he would have flashes of pain and anger, along with cranium splitting headaches. Eventually he made himself consider that he was still connected to the hivemind. He theorized, to himself; that once a connection to a hivemind is made. It is not easily broken. Just because he disconnected the drift helmet, doesn’t mean he is disconnected. The connection was just weaker. Newt feels the hive pulling him to use the remaining brain of the kaju baby to make another drift. He doesn’t. But he does steal away the brain to a safe location in case he changed his mind.

Silence A silence unlike has be felt in centuries Not for many wars Had a loss so great been felt It was like losing a limb It should be there But it wasn’t Their hearts ache They cry together Mourning the dead

The world government was closing down the jaeger program and almost all things to do with the kaju. They sent removal teams for kaju parts. They were sending bits and pieces to. Labs all over the world for better study. But Newt could tell it was a botch job. Just yesterday he saw them discard an perfect liver they thought was worthless. He felt a stab of unfathomable anger at the site. Newt stole all parts that he could. By the end of the week he had a whole cold storage full of parts. He knew he should leave it alone. But he needed more.

They felt him Yes they knew something had joined immediately At first they wanted him dead To protect their secrets and lives But after the attack When it seemed all hope was lost The felt it They knew He was useful And weak They felt his heart And knew his desires His constant desire for more More fame Glory Love Drugs Music Knowledge More of everything That his planet just could not provide They knew they could use this Save us! Help us! They cry into his dreams The time he is most weak Showing pain Love Loss Truth But most of all They showed him rage Rage of mourning Rage of defeat Rage of fear Rage that would fill his heart And consume his soul They showed him And they waited

It was not known to many, but Hannibal Chow actually survived being eaten by the kaju. He was swallowed whole. And with little injuries his team was able to cut him out before the oxygen ran out. They were almost to late though. And he lost some brain function. But he was rich, as he often liked to point out to everyone he met. So he had more than enough money to keep him alive and stay in business. Newt hated the man. The only reason he even bothered to keep tabs on him was because; somehow Hannibal was still scavenging and selling kaju parts. He even managed to obtain the irradiated remains of the kaju that protected the Throat. It was a hassle, but Newt was able to strike up an alliance. All he had to do was come up with more uses for kaju parts that Hannibal could sell. The first week he found fifteen. He got the better end of the bargain. He was receiving new parts everyday. Even just doing this task was giving him more data for his research.

Disgust They watched the man mutilate their kin They could take no more

Stop! You have all you need! They cried as one We can help you Help us! And we will give you Everything you need Save us! Help us! Our worlds still burn

Newt left Hannibal. He went to the government. He asked for a private lab to study the kaju. He rambled about how they might be able to come back. About how researching another sentient race could help understand our own. How he could unlock pure human potential. They were not necessarily lies. They bought into it and gave him a private lab in Hong King. Along with all the kaju parts he could need and a hefty allowance.

Skies alight with flames Cities crumbling into oceans Children abandoned Dead In alleys all over many worlds Fear Hunger Pain

Newt didn’t sleep much anymore. His dreams getting more violent. His headaches getting worse. So he focused solely on his research. He had all food delivered to the lab that he never left. He studied the kaju DNA franticly. He needed to know what made them tick. How they passed through the rift. How they got so big.  He saw into the hivemind. He knew the real kaju were about the same size as humans. He saw that all sentient beings were roughly about the same size and build. Why? How did the universe decide those are key features needed? Was it just easier to evolve that way? Are the rules the same everywhere? Was that size easier to discover tools and eventually technology? He needed to know. Also, it seemed the kaju coming through the Throat were actually a combination of multiple species. Not just bigger clones of their creators. A combination of species all wound together in a perfect twine of DNA. Every victory, new species would be added to the mix. Usually the strongest and most durable on each planet. That was why each kaju that came through was so different by had similar DNA. Just like twins. They choose different traits that can be found in the same strand of genes. Were humans compatible with this process? Was it possible to connect any species together? With the right combination of animals you could cure diseases or even old age. If Newt could pull this off he could save the world again. Or so he kept telling himself. He wanted to believe that his research was for bettering humanity. He wanted to believe it was anything other than what it was. That he felt their pain every night. He felt their fear over lack of resources. He watched their children starve. And he felt himself become less himself, and more them. And he knew. He was doing exactly what they wanted.

New memories Newt’s memories Memories of a mind separate Of ambition Research Success All achieved without a collective memory It was inefficient

After months of research Newt finally got his first breakthrough. A crack into the DNA that he hadn’t even considered. A simple combination that made so much sense once you could finally recognize it. He knew he could create perfect clones from anything now. He could combine any DNA. He could make new kaju. He laughed and mostly cried. He needed a drink.

He called Hermann to meet him. They had not talked since the Throat closed. And he understood why. But he needed to talk to someone who might understand. He needed something other than the hivemind. They scheduled to meet up in San Francisco. It wasn’t really a midway point. But it was a good enough compromise.

Newt arrived at the restaurant first. It was a fancy place. Very vogue. He would have preferred someplace older, louder, smokier. Some place he could keep his mind occupied on other things. Maybe with a few girls. But he knew Hermann would be more comfortable in a high end place like this. He needed that. It might make him more keen to listen to what he had to say. He couldn’t see or hear him. But as soon as Hermann entered the building New knew it. He could feel it. He could feel Hermann feel it too. They silently and awkwardly shook hands then sat down. They were in a small, private room in the back. There were two lounge chairs with a small table between them. They were not close together. But it felt as if they were touching. The proximity caught them off guard. Newt knew about his lingering connection to the hivemind, but this whole time he had no idea he was still connected to Hermann as well. Hermann seemed very off put as their minds touched and melded. It was almost like they were back in the drift.

Flashes of childhood memories A first kiss The calm of the ocean in then rain The burn of tequila Injuries re-inflicted Shouts of unwarranted anger Forgotten desires

It was unsettling. Newt broke the silence and spoke first.

"I have discovered how the kaju clones were made. I have found the hidden marker in DNA and I think I can replicate it. I have found the key to life!"

"Did you really? Or did they tell you?" Hermann remarked venomously. His eyes making a trail on the floor, not yet ready to make eye contact.

"I don’t know what you are talking about."

"Oh really? Because I know for a fact you do, you kaju groupie freak. That you have been in contact with them this whole time. I can feel myself remembering all those dreams. I can feel that you were aware of them the whole time. Newt you better explain yourself right now or I will have no choice but to turn you in for treason to humanity. What, were you going to sell us all? What, were you going to bring them back? Tell me!" Hermann stood up, his face contorted in fury. Newt had never seen him this mad. They both felt the fury of the hivemind wash over them. Hermann’s face changed to terror and he fell back into his chair. Breathing heavy he leaned back and closed his eyes. They waited in silence for it to pass.

"I’m not trying to destroy the world by the way."

"I know… how do you take this everyday Newt?"

"I don’t know."

"Do you know what they want?"

"No. But can’t you feel their pain? Can’t you hear the screams of their children? How could I not help them Hermann? I am a monster. I helped in the destruction of a whole planet. Did you know that Hermann? Did you know that when the jaeger suit exploded that it was right above the core reactor. A reactor that ran the length through and around the planet. They had set up a clean energy system that used the planets core to power everything they needed. They treat their world better than we do. They are just over populated and need space and resources. Is that so bad? Is it really so different than what we do to our selves? Do we really deserve to live more than them? All of their planets are bad off. I just want to help them"

"But they tried to destroy the whole human race Newt. That kinda bad"

"Is that really so bad? Wouldn’t we do the same if the tables were turned?" Newt closed his eyes and covered his face with his hands. He knew he should turn himself in. This was bad. He was sympathizing with creatures that killed millions of people. He knew he should try to severe the connection. But they were people too. And they needed him. Maybe he could help them without risking humanity. Maybe he could open the rift again. Maybe he could join them and leave this world behind.

"If you did, would that make you happy. Truly? Or are they controlling you?" Hermann answered, feeling everything Newt was thinking. He didn’t need to speak out loud. But it gave some normalcy to the situation.

"I don’t know. I really don’t know man. I don’t understand how this is happening. But you can feel it too. They can’t come through again. Not on their own at least. We could open the Throat our selves. And we could use the same technology they used to keep us out. But we would do it better, so there was no way for them to come through. We could help them. And just think. If we made us of their hivemind we could see their technology and forward science for humanity hundreds of years! Think of the possibilities Hermann! We would be immortalized in history!" Newt saw a change in Hermann’s face. And he felt his desire for knowledge like a flame, ignite. “If you helped me man, you could keep me straight. Keep me from going over the edge. I need you man.” Newt bowed his head. His voice shaking he whispered, “I need you.” Hermann knew this was crazy. They could single handily destroy the world if they mess up. But Newt made a lot of points that made sense. Which scared him and he almost said no. But hearing the distress in his voice; something inside him stirred. He didn’t want to think about that though. He quickly quelled the thought before Newt felt it.

"If I help you, you have to promise this won’t get out of hand. One mess up. One mistake. One sign that they can come back. And we are going to the government." Newt’s face lite up, and it seemed like months of stress wash off.