A piece of me..
I feel crushed. Like I’m stuck and have no idea how I’m going to get myself away from this idea of us. I gave such and important piece of myself to you. For almost 19 years I saved my virginity for someone I knew deserved it, someone I cared about and trusted. Waiting on someone I could be completely comfortable with, who made me feel safe enough to let myself be that vulnerable. You’re my bestfriend, people dream up fairy tales of losing their virginity to their bestfriend and falling in love. I’ve always loved you, and yes maybe I could have fallen in love with you..but it’s all different now. I spilled my heart to you and you let me down so gently that I couldn’t even feel the small part of my heart break off and fall into your hands. After everything, that piece of my heart will always be yours. Rather it be as my bestfriend or as the person who I finally trusted enough to open myself up to like I never had anyone else before. To know that innocence is gone and I will never get it back is a bittersweet feeling. Losing my virginity was nothing like I imagined but I wouldn’t change a thing. Except for the possibility of you and I being together. But I cannot complain because at the end of the day you are still my bestfriend and I will always have you by my side. I’ve grown as a person through all of this. Gained a kind of confidence that I truly needed. I believe whole heartedly that everything happens for a reason…I can’t wait to see what else life has in store for me and where the other pieces of my heart will end up.
