#loreartisan rambles

This is the same Lore behind the art account, @loreartisan, but I made this account as a dumping ground where I can guiltlessly endorse in my hyperfixations & meme genius (and keep my Lore Artisan account... well... art related).

My text post and media analysis tag

My edits tag

My memes tag

If you want to get to know me a bit...

I love almost anything animation

I don't like romance/shipping

I am a sucker for Found Family tropes

i like whump and hurt/comfort hehe

I am Pro-Palestine (Zionists and Islamophobes DNI)

I love talking about deep interpretive meanings of the thematic implications behind my favourite stories

Fandoms/Interests i am typically happy to yap about:

Spider-Verse series

Slow Horses

Final Destination

Alex Rider

Romantic Killer

Dungeon Meshi (Delicious In Dungeon)

Trigun Stampede/Stargaze

Dead Space

Destiny 2

A Plague Tale

Dispatch

The Warriors Musical

JRWI (specifically The Suckening campaign)

The Pitt

Wings of Fire series

HTTYD

Bone (graphic novel series)

Too often I see action-oriented movies/tv shows/video games where male characters go through a lot of stuff and it shows. They emerge at the end of the story with black eyes, bloody & broken noses, split lips, and cuts/bruises galore. Female characters, on the other hand, either have a completely fine face, or one delicate cut on their cheek or something.

The Warriors are a GANG. On the RUN. They have to get messy. They don't need to worry about messing up their makeup. They're worried about staying alive. Cleon gets jumped by like 20 Riffs, Ajax and some other Warriors probably get hit by baseball bats a few times. Rembrandt has to save her fellow Warriors from knife-wielding pretty boys. Cowgirl gets BIT. Fox's fight with the cop must've been BRUTAL, they're spitting and breaking each others' bones.

The fact that men can show realistic damage but women don't is getting a little odd at this point. So don't be afraid. Take inspiration from women's MMA fights. Get a little realistic (but have fun! this is a musical after all! u dont need me to boss u around, i was just expressing my thoughts).

Spoilers below:

For the most part, I've gotten the impression that River is a very very single guy who doesn't really 'go' for women/romantic situations. And to me, this makes sense. I'll elaborate below, if you're curious to see my thought process. If you're one of the ppl who think he really deserves to be with someone, then... idk this is just my own justification. Get ready, I'm going full analytical essay mode here.

Reason 1: He respects boundaries too much. In season 1, when Sid tries telling him the reason she's at Slough House, he tells her that he doesn't want to know since it's likely for personal reasons which is "none of his business". In season 2, when Lamb says that River should 'get' with Kelly if she offers, River is very opposed to this and finds it (rightfully) unethical. In season 3, River tells Louisa that her private life is not Lamb's business and that he shouldn't bring up her "way of processing her trauma". In season 4, he hesitates to share his personal problems with Louisa, emphasizing that he is considerate of "keeping things work related". There are a lot of instances where River shows how he doesn't want to take things beyond what is needed, which to me translates to: friends are all I need.

Reason 2: It's very anti-Bond of him. James Bond is this slick, suave guy who manages to charm every lady he comes across in literally every iteration he's in. One of Bond's most recognizable aspects is how he is always seducing women to get his job done. River is this awkward guy who bumbles most of his social interactions through misunderstandings and sarcasm. Most of River's characterization is on the basis that he thinks he's Bond, but continually proves in many ways how he is the opposite of him. River's relationships with women is another way to telling the audience that he is very far from being the 'perfect' spy that James Bond is.

Reason 3: He's got too much drama around him that renders romance unnecessary. River is likely one of Slow Horse's most intriguing characters, solely based on his family background. The grandson of a legendary spook, the son of an ex-CIA mercenary, the son of a bitter and neglected daughter, the brother to trained assassins who got in trouble with lots of people... There are so many points of interest around River's family alone that I just don't think a romantic plot would benefit his character. It's nice to have rounded, three-dimensional characters, but if a character has too many conflicts and side plots, it can get difficult to keep up with. If I had to choose between the themes of River coming to terms with his family legacy or allowing him to find romance with someone, I'd pick the first option because it seems far more intriguing and has more setup/depth.

There are more subtle reasons here and there, and I know that the book version of River contradicts some of my points, but these are the major aspects behind my pitch for "River should stay single and not be shipped with anyone." I see why he might be shipped with some ppl, but ultimately that is my stance on River's romantic life. His women friends should just stay friends, and I am glad Spider died because that man was TOXIC and i dont know why ppl ship them.

uhhhhh thanks for reading my essay? Hopefully yall see the way I'm thinking (maybe i convinced you to see my side of things too???). Crazy how i did all this based on 0.5 seconds of footage that is likely (in true River fashion) a misunderstanding. Yay for overthinking!

Let me know if my essay was good (was it engaging? was my writing good? did i bring up some dogwater points?), i spent more time on this than I expected but it feels good to air my thoughts out.

TL;DR I am ✨ delusional ✨