#longroadback

Okay I was at the gym, running on the hamster wheel they call a treadmill.  It was going good.  The goal was to get to 4 miles.  Not that big of goal, but considering on Jan 2, when I tried to run, I couldn't even get to a mile. I was frustrated.......

Today, it was going great, until.

I remembered.....

I remembered that at this time last year, I just finished the goofy challenge. 

I should be able to run longer and faster, 

then all of a sudden the 4 miles that I was trying to do, seemed surmountable, was it worth it.  I should be doing more that 4 miles.  But I can't.

I was kinda getting depressed, ready to give up.  Then it hit me what this was.  This was the mental wall. 

This was the moment that I could stop the treadmill and give up.  Or be thankful I am on the road back.  I am making it back to where I should be.  

I kept going and finished my 4 miles.  Not a lot, but a victory, because I didn't give up.  I didn't give in and accept my pity party.  

I also realized that before this I kinda was giving up.  The last few days, eating wise have been hard.  I WANT CARBS and I WANT them now.  I went beyond my eating goals.  

Kinda had that I am gonna give up mentality.  But I am not.  I am gonna "carry on".

I am gonna learn from what has happened over the last few days to set me back and learn from them

1. Having a Root Canal done,  I hate the dentist chair, my anxiety goes through the roof. So I was stressed.  THEREFORE I was stress eating.

2. I made poor choices.  I realized that my intake neglected protein and veggies.  Today increasing them already.  realizing that protein curbs that "I am hungry feeling"

3. Been without COFFEE.  I NEED COFFEE.  I am trying to cut down, but I still need some I can't go without.   So allowing myself to have a few.  

4. Workstuff=stressful .  I have not done a lot on this front and need to be a lot more aggressive in the job search.