#long;

literally i just woke up again and my phones got messages from college friends and my siblings who all also went to the same main branch of the national university i did with news that ANOTHER building was on fire. Like AS WE SPEAK,

thing is, the school is over 100 years old, the buildings have endured, then suddenly within the last idk 3-4ish years, three root facilities have been burned down (the biggest common cafeteria on campus, the main faculty center, AND now the shopping center which has a ton of printing shops and general places to Get Shit Done),,,,,,and the thing here is, my school has a reputation for being one of the biggest driving/leading forces of the student activist movement against the government pulling all kinds of shit??? and even if the news covers it up every time as some kinda accident, just looking at the targetted buildings fuckin say enough that its a high likelyhood that foulplay is involved,,,,,,,

the cafeteria was an issue at the time bc corporate names wanted to oust the in-campus service union to sell their more expensive food, we protested along with the staff (who by the way, are super friendly and allow students to keep tabs in case they were super broke but were starving)

what happens? building gets burned down, the news say it was a fire sparked by a faulty electric socket; fire happened before dawn

The faculty center? even the professors arent afraid to speak out abt all the injustice and bs the government gets up to; this building is old AF by the way, as in years and years worth of teaching material, some offices of past professors whove become nationally acclaimed and everything,,,,

AGAIN, building gets burned down, all the teaching materials, all the records, all the student output that still needed grading/returning, all gone; this happened in the dead of night

NOw, there have been more recent conflicts w the student activists making headlines and things to speak out against the president himself (who by the way is pretty fucking much on dictator mode now) to Make Good Changes instead of the bs hes been up to since literally day 1

and now the shopping center is on fire. the building where students/teachers/anybody tbh gets supplies, food (from again, nice in-campus union staff; this is p much the 2nd place to go to if not the aforementioned cafeteria), hell even uni merch to rep where were from, INCLUDING the place where we get our graduation garb, and not to mention the numerous computer/print shops where we get papers and plates printed out

and its thesis printing season. so those shops are full of thesis manuscripts for printing and binding

It comes and goes, like broken clockwork. You go through the same motions, the same thoughts, the same feelings of guilt, anger, betrayal, before slowly simmering back down to a numb sadness. The process is always the same, it’s just that it’s never when you’re ready for it.

Lately it’s been resurfacing more and more frequently.

Confused memories, the aching pang of missing someone who’d once been so close to you... Then the heavy knot of guilt in your stomach for knowing full well that what you were doing wasn’t going anywhere good.

Then it stopped just being in your head.

A faded red hoodie, worn in to a softness from daily use, carelessly tossed onto an armchair.

It’s not yours, nor is it Johnny’s.

A faint whiff of cigarette smoke.

Neither you nor Johnny smoke anymore, and certainly not this one that had such a distinct smell.

The day you began noticing these things, you’d gone pale, eyes widening in shock.

Where? Why? Who?Don’t lie to yourself. You know exactly who.

Your fingers ghost over the soft fabric, trailing over worn seams.

It’s been years since you last saw this. Years since you last saw him. 

Your breath hitches slightly with emotion, a choked back sob, when you snatch up the hoodie in your hands, knuckles white with how you gripped it as if grabbing someone by their shirt, as if to shake them, to demand answers, to know why they were doing this, why were they here, why did you leave, why did you leave?

You don’t even realize you’d buried your face in the article, crying into it, pressing your nose against it to catch traces of a scent that had once been so familiar.

“--See you later when I get home, okay? Love you!”

Johnny’s voice from the front door tears you away from your blind fumbling in the buried recesses of your memories. It startles you, makes you nearly drop the hoodie in guilt.

Your lips are slightly parted to drag in breaths, ragged at the edges from how much you had apparently cried.

It would upset him.Differently from how it’s evidently upsetting you.

Your knees buckle, and you drop down onto the couch, filled with a terrible mixture of emotions.

Karkat’s hoodie-- your Karkat-- lay pooled in your lap.It was just like he’d just taken it off after coming home to you from a long day.

Only...He wasn’t really here.

BOY HE GAYHE GAY AS FUCK!!

literally dave has been nothing but open about how he feels about johnny, and while u kno this lemme lay this out for the people of the dash,,

this, by far, has been the most in love dave has ever been. it’s a little weird for him bc in the past, he’s often ended up dating/being attracted to people who become his friends first bc You Never Know, but with johnny they just kind of clicked. from the very first time dave met him he was already getting those crush butterflies but he tried his best to play it cool bc he was still feeling kind of down about close relationships in general, and wanted to keep his distance, but goddAMN did that go right tf out the window bc dave was getting closer and closer already even by the time they hung out a second time. after johnny confirmed romantic intentions dave just fuckening dove off the deep end and here he is! gay af!!

hes That Gay that physically gets an ache in his chest from how full of love he feels whenever he thinks about johnny and the two of them are always telling each other abt how words/actions are never enough to show how they really feel abt each other bc listen here theyve laughingly talked abt marriage and parenthood together wtf……………

on the more eye emoji side tho sometimes dave feels sad too bc he is Very aware of him being mortal and johnny being more or less immortal and its a depressing thought; johnny has told him that hed still love dave even when dave is ancient but inside dave is like……… lmao dont let me hold you back but also dont leave me aaaaaa…………