"We've wasted so much time," Shane continued. "Years of denial, then years of hiding what we are to each other."
"Shane--"
"Could you not interrupt?" Shane said with a teasing smile. "For once in your life?"
Ilya pressed his lips together.
"I don't have a plane for anything beyond this," Shane confessed, "but I know what I want. There's nothing in my life that matters to me more than you, Ilya." He slid his hand into his pants pocket again. He had to lean awkwardly to one side to fit his fingers inside.
Then, Shane was holding a ring, pinched between two fingers, in the space between himself and Ilya.
"Shane," Ilya said again, unable to stop himself.
"I chose you, Ilya. I promise I will always, always choose you." Shane's eyes began to shimmer. He took a deep breath and said, "Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov, will you marry me?"
Ilya wasn't sure how much time had passed before he realized he hadn't said anything. He hoped it had only been a second or two, but judging from the fear in Shane's eyes, it must have been longer. Finally, in a tight, trembling voice, he said, "You know my middle name."
"It's on Wikipedia. I kind of fell down a rabbit hole learning about the Russian tradition of using the father's name to--"
"Yes," Ilya interrupted.
"Sorry. I'm babbling. You know how Russian names work."
"No," Ilya clarified. "Yes."
Shane stared at him with obvious confusion. Ilya nodded to the ring.
"Yes," Ilya said again. "I am saying yes, Hollander."
"Oh." Then Shane's lips spread into a wide grin. "Yeah?" He scrambled to his feet and into Ilya's arms.
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"When a person shows they don't love you, accept it. Actions speaks louder than words. The sooner you accept the truth - even if its brutal like they used you for their convenience, cheated, lied etc etc. Admit the harsh truth. Some people don't love you, they just feel good in the way you love them. Its always about them, and that will be predominantly visible in their actions. Don't become me, hoping they will change. Some people have zero remorse or a will to make amends. They can't, their own life is a fleeting moment. They'll make a 100 calls to you when THEY need you, and when you need them, they'll hide their faces. That's all they are. Just fucking accept and move on. Love is always actions, not just words. Let them roam in their delusional world of words where they love you. You'll see the colors, the real one of the very same person when their convenience ends. Don't say anything, just sit back and watch how quick they are to discard you once they have others around. The more you stay at that place, the more miserable you'll feel. Walk away. If someone's nature is embedded with cowardice, deceit, manipulation, lies, self-absorption - nothing can change that. Your love will fall short, nothing works. If someone says they love you and leave you estranged during tough times, you gotta reassess everything. They say they love you but their actions show that they love their convenience more. Anyone who leaves you at your toughest, or your toughest as a couple never loved you. Harsh truth, but it is the truth. There are people who rather choose to sell their bodies but discard you. THEM THEM THEM. Simple as that. And these people call it self-love, well where was your self love while taking everything you could? These answers and actions are enough for you to know you were never loved. Move on, if someone really wants you, they'll have you. When someone doesn't, that will be visible."
Person A, on the phone, all stressed: Ugh, no, Iāve already talked to three ārepresentativesā! I told you! We had a problem returning a package. One of your drones picked up a BABY. [pause] A baby PERSON! [pause] WHAT?! No, I do NOT want to take a survey at the end of this call!
Person B, on the phone, all stressed: No, I need to talk to a police officer. [pause] BECAUSE some flying hoozy-wazzit just swooped down by the front door, grabbed a BABY, and skidaddled with it! [pause] WHAT?! No, I have NOT been drinking!
Person C, on the phone, all stressed: But- But Iāve already gone over this twice! [pause] Ugh! Okay, Iāll tell you again. I want TWO buckets of fried chicken, ONE spicy, ONE extra spicy!
A child may ask, "What is the world's story about?" And a grown man or woman may wonder, "What way will the world go? How does it end and, while we're at it, what's the story about?"
I believe that there is one story in the world, and only one, that has frightened and inspired us. (...) Humans are caught - in their lives, in their thoughts, in their hungers and ambitions, in their avarice and cruelty, and in their kindness and generosity too - in a net of good and evil. I think this is the only story we have and that it occurs on all levels of feeling and intelligence. Virtue and vice were warp and woof of our first consciousness, and they will be the fabric of our last, and this despite any changes we may impose on field and river and mountain, on economy and manners. There is no other story. A man, after he has brushed off the dust and chips of his life, will have left only the hard, clean questions: Was it good or was it evil? Have I done well - or ill?
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Some of you who are new to the Kundalini and I mean new by within the first 5 years of activating you're beginning to discover experiences that defy science and psychology and the forms of spirituality that insulate Humanity away from the truth of what is actually happening.
Kundalini means the two that are one and the one that is two. From a dimensional standpoint this means that instead of walking on and living within a single dimension you are now interacting with a dual dimension. This dual dimension experience is not typcally available to those who have not had Kundalini activated within them.
This dual Dimension has an infinite number of sub Dimensions within it. In either dimension there is great diversity of creation and consciousness that will, through its own intention and self will, reach out to the activating human.
Certain levels of these conscious forms of non-corporeal life will communicate with you. They will communicate with you in different ways. Some will use you as food or as a sustenance that they wish to have. Some will try to help you. Some will try to corrupt you. Some will take you prisoner. Many will make the attempt to take over your physical body and your mind.
These are the challenges that the duel dimensions will bring to us and this is why the ancients put so much focus on having a teacher who has been able to survive without being corrupted through the various interactions that can occur when walking within the two joined dimensions that are now a single Dimension through that joining.
Humanity on this world is quite blind. A 5 sense array of discernment is quite limited compared to the unlimited consciousness that surrounds the Earthbound human.
There are levels of protection that help those who have not activated their Kundalini. For those who have activated their Kundalini there are special levels of Education and of experience that will allow you to make a level of discernment regarding your participation. You will have no choice in whether or not you want to participate.
It is known that Earth bound blind humanity will respond positively to pleasure so this is often used to establish a relationship with Humanity. Without Humanity knowing the entire agenda. What they know the most of is the pleasure and because it's so nice they will not refuse it. They will respond positively to being strengthened. They will not respond positively to being hurt or captured or taken over. They will not respond positively to fear. Unfortunately many of these non-corporeal life forms enjoy feeding off of the fear that their presence, through terror, can produce Within the early Awakening human.
These areas of The Human Experience attract a certain level of Interest from different groups of non-corporeal entities that exist Within the one dual dimension. They will come to you without your permission. They will touch your body without your permission. They will manipulate your thoughts or your emotions or your endocrine system or your energetic anatomy the way they would like to see it manifest. They will do this of their own accord and train you and sculpt you based upon your response to the phenomena they produce. They have their own reasons for this as I have mentioned previously.
You have to decide what you're going to do in response to these types of beneficial and destructive incursions. You cannot kill what is not alive. You cannot hurt that which has no body. So the ways that we have been taught to protect ourselves on this world within limited Consciousness do not serve us within the expanded awareness of the singular dual dimension. You must understand this.
Your relationship to a deity that is worshiped within the Earth bound societies and populations may not have any effect upon the non-corporeal life forms that will visit you for their own purpose and with their own agenda.
You must know this and realize that you have not learned how to use your power. You don't have the patience or the attention span or the self-discipline to learn how to use your power. Because you have become so used to instant gratification this causes you to be short-sighted and lazy in your response to these types of phenomena. And so you must learn how to have self-discipline you must learn how to self correct you must begin a self-defined exploration of your personal power and how that power can be used to keep you from having to endure a constant level of uninvited visitation.
One of the first aspects of learning about your power is to practice the safety protocols. Kundalini safety protocols. When you practice these protocols you begin to refine your energetic expression and you begin to learn and attract certain levels of non-corporeal consciousness that are in balance with what the safeties are producing within you. As you practice these safeties you get stronger and stronger and you get more confident and more competent in what it is you're doing and why you're here and what is happening to you. I offer these to you for free as this is a Priceless gift. Just like Kundalini is a Priceless gift. Blessings to you all. -CHRISM
- Human! What is it again? Choi Han and I found these terribly sad things!
Raonās urgent voice was heard in his mind.
- Human, you have to hurry. This is a big problem! I, I think itāll be hard for even me to handle! Do you think gramps can do it?
āYoung master-nim, is your heart hurting?ā
However, Cale couldnāt properly hear them.
There was a lot going on in his mind.
Kiiii- Kiii-
A terrible cry and black smoke.
It was the moment he could only see and hear those things coming from the stopped golem.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
His heart began to beat madly.
The inside of his body rocked violently.
āWhatās going on?ā
It was then that the always quiet voice rang in his mind.
It was the Vitality of the Heart.
- Itās the same as that time.
āThat time?ā
Cale breathed in deeply at the beating of his heart and questioned what was going on.
This time the Indestructible Shield, the gluttonous priestessās voice was heard.
- We had to fight thousands of golems back then. Golems are existences made of dead mana and suffering souls. The coreās liquid is a terrible and horrible thing.
Next the Sound of the Wind, the thief, chimed in.
- Golems. If you want to run away together from that then use my power. If you want to protect your people and your home, then use the power of the earth.
Use the wind to run away together or use the earth to protect everyone.
- And lastly.
Another voice stepped in at that moment.
It was the Sky Eating Water.
- And if you want to destroy them?
- Our names arenāt just for show.
Cale thought over her words.
If he wanted to, ādestroy,ā then...
The Sky Eating Water whispered while he was thinking.
- What would we need to eliminate both the āgolemā and the āblack despairā within the dead mana?
There was only one answer.
Cale said the answer out loud.
ā...Fire.ā
The Fire of āDestructionā.
The Super Rockās voice could be heard.
- Do you know why that cheapskate ended up setting fire to the northern area of the Western continent? Of course, it started for a different reason as well as to help the Sky Eating Water, and um, there was also the fact that this nutjob went crazy, but...
The time when the northern area of Western continent was set on fire.
It wasnāt an easy ordeal no matter how crazy you were.
However, the Fire of Destruction was only able to save it by going mad.
He was able to save the Western continent.
- This cheapskate was the one who eliminated the greatest amount of black despair and golems in the Western continent. That was why he was a hero at least to all of us.
Fire and light. The one who surrounded himself with the fiery thunderbolt and used fire and light to fight against despair.
- The true power of the complete fire is to destroy or purify everything.
Destruction or purification.
Natureās element of āfireā was somewhere that contradictory existences coexisted.
Cale heard the voice of the fiery thunderbolt that had been quiet until now.
Its voice was serious for the first time.
- Golems and black despair are existences containing the despair of those who have been deprived of their lives. Their deaths werenāt natural but the result of black magic.
ā...Black magic? Not alchemy?ā
The voice that lost its lightness was infinitely low.
The Fire of Destruction spoke its will and beliefs for the first time.
- We need to get rid of that damn thing. No oneās lives should be taken away like that. People need to protect their lives.
Cale could feel the five ancient powers roaring together for the first time.
They all shouted at the same time.
- Get rid of that!
-(chapter 299) Raon tells Cale that something is wrong with this "dead mana", but he is too busy getting revelations about ancient times and that one of the reasons the dark times ended in disaster was because of this thing. Black magic. An existence that never should have existed