LOGAN X PATTON X JANUS (not so) MINI FIC req by @hellothere16
The Crofters Conundrum
Logan: Patton, Janus, do either of you have any clue where my jar of crofters jam went? I can't seem to find it in the refrigerator.
Patton and Janus, both sitting on the couch and eating jam by the spoonful, look at Logan, at eachother, and then back at Logan. Janus and Patton stare at eachother for a solid five seconds before Patton speaks up.
Janus: That's a serious accusation, Logan. First things first. I hate jam in general. Second. Did you talk to Remus? I saw him go into the fridge earlier looking awfully suspicious.
Janus and Patton stare at eachother for a sold five seconds before Patton speaks up.
Patton: Oh! Y-yeah! I saw him just a couple minutes ago in the ceiling again! His mustache was COVERED in jam! You should probably go looking for him!
Logan looks at his two lovers, unamused, and grabs a spoon from the utensil drawer and sits next to Patton and Janus.
Logan: Well. You two are lucky I love and care deeply for you both. I suppose we could share.
Janus and Patton stare at eachother for a solid five seconds before Patton speaks up.
Patton: ...Are we sure that isn't Janus disguised as Logan?-
Janus: How in the everloving fu-
Logan: I assure you, Patton, it is me. Now can we eat jam before I change my mind on sharing?
Patton: You got it, love!
The three proceed to just sit on that couch, talking and spooning jam into their mouths like it was a delicacy, which in their world, it was.
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Pairing: Primarily RemRom, but there is RemRomXiety and LoMoCeit
AO3
Set after âBonding Timeâ and Wonât Say Iâm In Love.
A Christmas special I wrote last Christmas.
Everyone knows that Roman and Remus are a thing, and they know that they're too scared to tell everyone. So they come up with a plan.
Christmas is upon us and all through the mindscape a plan was forming, four out of the six sides held a conference in the Logical Sides chambers, unbeknownst to the other two in question.
The other two being the Creativitwins.
âHow do we tell them that we know?â Virgil asks âtheyâre obviously trying really hard to not let us find out!â
âTrue as that may be, I think it would benefit everyone for them to know that we knowâ Logan says, Virgil grimaces.
âThis can go so wrong in so many ways, what if they get super defensive? What if they keep denying it even though itâs super obvious and they end up being more secretive and stop talking to us all together? What if they donât let us explain and then they hate us because of communication errors? Whatâs gonna happen to us then, are we all just going to be on bad terms because they think weâre being judgey ass holes? What if-â Virgil is cut off by Pattonâs hand on his shoulder.
âHey woah, itâs alright Virge, breathe for me kiddo! Iâm sure weâll get through to them in a nice calm manner as long as everyone keeps their coolâ
Deceit sighs âweâll have to formulate some kind of plan for them to not freak out right awayâ
âWhy can we not just go up to them and have a civilized, to the point conversationâ Logan says, Deceit raises an eyebrow. âNo, I heard what I just said, youâre right we need to go at this at a different angle.â
âWell, what do you suppose we do then Lo?â Patton asks.
Logan looks slightly uncomfortable as he says his suggestion âwell, as much as Iâd like to just formulate a plan, I think we need to do this with, feeling and emotion as to not scare them away, Patton the metaphorical floor is all yours.â
Patton beams as he squeals âwell I do kind of have an idea! Itâs gonna take some time to set up though!â
~~~
The day of the mindscapes annual Christmas party is starting and it is decked out in holiday cheer.
Roman is singing Christmas songs as he conjures up some last minute decorations, heâd put up mistletoe if he wasnât worried about getting caught under it with anyone.
Not that anyone would pressure them to kiss if they didnât want to, itâs just a precaution.
As he walks away from wrapping the stairs in some more garland he doesnât notice the mistletoe that forms on the top of the first landing.
He looks around the commons to see if heâs missing anything else before the party is to start, which itâs not, itâs obviously perfect.
He smiles to himself as he bounds up the stairs to get himself ready for the night.
Remus is in his room. Remus is always in his room nowadays, Roman doesnât mind he just strolls over to his twin who is fiddling with something on Romanâs desk. He slinks his arms around the others waist and props his chin on Remusâ shoulder to watch at what heâs doing.
Looking at the horrible wrapping job that Remus is struggling with, with a smirk he looks to Remusâ face to see that his tongue is sticking out in concentration and his face is scrunched up.
âHave I ever told you that you can be extremely adorable at times?â Roman says nuzzling his nose into Remusâ neck.
âSometimes! Look I wrapped your gift in seaweed!â He says holding it up.
âAh, so you have. Thatâs... what that smell is.â
Remus nods, putting down the gift and twisting around to face Roman, not breaking out of the embrace, kissing Romanâs face multiple times in quick succession. âGotta get all the kisses out before we have to go to the party!â
Roman laughs, getting some light kisses in himself âspeaking of the party, have you decided on what youâre going to wear?â Roman asks.
âNoooope, I was just gonna see what you were doing and match it with my own style.â
âHm, well itâs not a fancy gathering so we donât have to go too extravagant, I was thinking along the lines of thisâ Roman says snapping his fingers making a new outfit appear on him.
Like he said, he wasnât going to be extravagant about it, but he didnât say he wasnât going to be classy.
Heâs now in a soft red turtleneck with a nice fitting gold vest over that, his logo proudly etched on the left breast. Black jeans that hug his figure and a banging pair of red and gold stilettos.
Remus whistles loudly.
âFuck how am I gonna top this?â
Roman snickers âoh darling, youâre not, cause youâre a bottom.â
âFuckin take me now Ro.â
âPatienceâ Roman laughs out, stepping out of Remusâ grasp âweâve got a party to attend.â
âTeaseâ Remus says affectionately but snaps his own fingers to get dressed.
Heâs conjured himself in a turtleneck as well, but his is made out of fishnet and over that is a bright green crop top that slides off one shoulder, the look is complete with a black flowy skirt that slants down from his upper left thigh diagonally and stops at his right knee, itâs embedded with green sparkles, on his feet a pair of green and black bondage boots.
Itâs Romanâs turn to ogle his boyfriend.
âDamn Ree, that is salaciousâ he says roaming over the outfit appreciatively.
âIâm allowed to be a tease too!â Â
Roman snickers, grabbing Remus' hand âcome on, the others are waiting.â
So together they go down into the commons where everyone is actually waiting, they both stop abruptly on the first landing as someone wolf whistles.
Roman smiles âyes yes, we look fabulous, I know.â He says with his hand fanned out towards his chest.
âOh yes, or maybe itâs the mistletoe youâre standing underâ Deceit drawls.
Roman looks shocked and confused. Mistletoe? Who hung mistletoe? Also, rude they do look fabulous thank you very much!
âAlthough you do look super spiffy there kiddos!â Dear sweet Patton says.
Roman and Remus both look up at the offensive decoration.
âThatâs technically not mistletoe!â Roman says triumphantly, pointing at it.
Logan looks at it as well and sighs âYou are correct Roman, that not mistletoe, it is holly. Although people use it for the same purposes on the holidays, so I would find that the âholiday etiquetteâ should still stand.â
Roman looks at the group whoâre sitting on the couch, all of them staring at them.
âAre... are you serious?â Roman laughs nervously.
Logan raises an eyebrow and points to his tie.
âYa donât haveâta if it makes you uncomfortable Roâ Patton says softly.
Remus lets out a frustrated huff, pecking Romanâs cheek quickly.
âThere, kiss completeâ he says hands on his hips.
Roman brings his hand up to his cheek in shock, that should be fine right?
~~~
The group share a look, they thought they were being very forward with that first mistletoe event, Logan even downright said that they should do it for Christmas sakes!
This might take more time. More mistletoe!
Maybe less prying eyes.
Patton perks up a bit âhey before you guys sit down can ya do a favour for me?â
âSure Padre, what do you need?â Roman asks.
âI forgot to bring in the drink bowls and cups, can you get them and put them on the table there?â Patton says with an air of innocence.
~~~
The twins look at each other and shrug.
âSure thing, weâll be right back.â
They head into the kitchenette, and there to Romans annoyance hangs an actual mistletoe above them, he groans. Who is hanging all this mistletoe!
Remus looks up at it and snickers.
âAh, no one will see this oneâ he says flapping his hand about.
âThereâs not exactly a whole wall separating us Reeâ Roman gestures to where the others are clearly sitting âwhat if one of them looks this way?â
âPsshh, theyâre all preoccupiedâ
âHmm, okay but quickly.â
Remus leans in to land a quick kiss to Romanâs lips, right as Deceit stumbles into the kitchen looking slightly ruffled.
He straightens out his coat as he saunters the rest of the way in.
The twins are staring at him in horror.
âOh donât give me that look boysâ he says with an unimpressed stare âIâve known since the beginning, or did you not tell him Remus?â
Roman swivels his head to give Remus a questioning glare.
âOh yeah! That completely slipped my mind. I went to Dee-dee here for some advice... before we... started dating.â
âOh my god, Deceit knew this entire time!â Roman whisper yells, throwing his arms up.
âWell, if I wasnât told Iâd still know, or have you forgotten what I represent? All this sneaking around and avoiding truths, Roman darling I sense all of it.â He says while checking his nails, that are covered with his gloves.
Roman glares at him now. âFine, you have a pass since you seem to not care at all.â
âYes, you obviously have my blessings. Iâm sure everyone wouldnât turn you away if you just came out with it.â
Roman narrows his eyes âI donât know if youâre lying or not...â
Deceit ignores him âPatton shoved me in here to help cause in his words âtheyâre taking really long go check if theyâre hurtâ ridiculous really you were gone all of one minute and again in his words âa lot can happen in a minute Deceit please just checkââ he flips his hand and rolls his eyes.
âOookay thenâ Roman says slowly, confusedly âthat was specific and I donât think you lied once in anything youâve said so far, are you alright?â
Then Remus laughs, loudly. âHoly shit! Youâre drunk arenât you!â He says with manic glee âDee only rambles and speaks all in truths when heâs even slightly hammered and boy is he a fucking light weight!â
âI may have gotten into the egg nog earlier, donât tell Patton.â
âI wonât have to, youâll out yourself before I get the chance!â
âWhatâs the worst he would do to me honestly, turn that adorable pout my way?â Deceit says then hums âthat might work actually...â
Roman looks at Dee with joy âdo you perchance have a crush on our dear resident puff ball?â
Deceit looks startled âwho told you that? It doesnât matter anyway heâs with Logan, heâd never want me. Whatever, tonight isnât about that itâs about you twoâ he says pointing at them.
âUs? Tonight is about us?â Roman questions.
âOh, well. It looks like Iâve said too much. Iâll be off nowâ he turns and marches right back to the couch, depositing himself next to Patton, who in turn scratches Dees head as he slinks down into the warm cushions.
Huh.
They get the drinks and the cups needed and head back to the living room.
~~~
Okay, now that they know Deceit is okay with them, the others need to also âaccidentallyâ walk in on some mistletoe action.
Logan supposes heâll be next.
Although, he is rather enamoured with watching his boyfriend play with a clearly tipsy Deceitâs hair, theyâve been meaning to talk to Deceit about the three of them and on how they can make them a them.
But he digresses, this is about the twins and making them comfortable in their relationship around everyone else, his own can wait a little longer, especially considering heâd like to have it planned out first.
So Mission: Mistletoe take three.
He clears his throat to get everyoneâs attention, âshould we start with placing the gifts under the tree?â And he looks pointedly at Virgil, Patton and Deceit.
Virgil is the first to get up, going up the stairs presumably to his room to get his gifts, Patton as well jumps up the stairs. Deceit just snaps his fingers and five gifts appear under the tree, Logan looks at him slowly, the look on his face is clearly âwhat the fuck manâ but he doesnât say anything.
âOh hey, thatâs a good ideaâ Roman says âwhy didnât the other two just do that?â He walks over to the tree, Remus in tow and snaps his own fingers and five more gifts are there.
Logan internally groans, fine heâll just rig this a bit. He waves his hand and a mistletoe forms itself above Roman and Remusâ heads where theyâre standing at the base of the Christmas tree.
Logan nudges Deceit.
Deceit nudges him back.
Logan huffs and nods his head towards the mistletoe trying to convey âleave so we can get on with thisâ.
Deceit does not interpret it like that, instead he fake gasps, rather dramatically in Loganâs opinion.
âOh what ever are the chances of this happening again to you two!â
Logan rolls his eyes and face palms.
He has zero tact when heâs tipsy it seems.
The twins look their way and then follow Deceitâs gaze up to the mistletoe, both of them throw their hands up in sync.
âOh come on!â Roman says.
âHow the fuckâ Remus says.
âWell, I certainly wouldnât mind if you two kissedâ Deceit murmurs.
Roman glares at him while Remus looks a little amused.
No tact.
Logan clears his throat and the twins look to him.
âI agree with Deceit.â
Romanâs eyes widen, Remusâ smile is getting more manic.
âWhy are you looking at me like that? I donât see a problem with it as long as both of you are comfortable with it.â
âI, um. I. Wasnât expecting this from you Logan... I donât even know how to respond.â
âI do!â Remus says a bit loudly grabbing Romanâs shoulders and planting a kiss right on his twins lips.
Logan has a satisfied smirk on his face.
âAbout timeâ he mumbles into his cup of eggnog.
After the kiss, it wasnât much just a small smooch really, they look back to Logan.
âYouâre okay with us?â Remus asks.
âI wouldnât have suggested such if I was not.â He responds.
Roman has a thoughtful look cross his face, but itâs gone quickly.
~~~
Loganâs smugness is as noticeable as Remusâ smile, the twins are sitting close together on the floor in front of the couch.
Seems like L got his part out of the way spectacularly.
Virgilâs turn.
Heâs, not exactly hyped about what he has planned, itâs... nerve wracking and itâs, surprise surprise making him anxious.
He knows Roman, theyâre practically best friends at this point, and he knows Roman is one of the most trustworthy people, he would never say....cheat on a partner.
No no, he knows, this is an incredibly dick move, he knows!
He also knows that Roman would prefer to out himself than to hurt anyone else, and thatâs what heâs banking on.
Okay, okay, okay he can do this...he probably shouldnât... and heâs going to anyway.
Fuck, he feels bad and he hasnât done anything yet...
He takes a deep breath and before he can chicken out he says, in a slightly higher than normal tone âhey Ro, I gotta talk to you for a secâ and promptly rushes up the stairs.
Roman looks at everyone startled, before getting up âoookay, Iâll be back guys.â
Theyâre in the hallway upstairs and Virgil is pacing, oh god why did he think of this, why is this his plan this is not okay, he should not be doing this, his hands are in his hair as his thoughts spiral, then Roman is there, his hand on Virgilâs stops his movement and he looks into the prince's eyes. Oh fuck. This is a bad idea.
âAre you alright?â
Virgil letâs out an incomprehensible squeak.
âBreathe for me Virgeâ Roman instructs.
Virgil does, breathe in for four, hold for seven, out for eight.
Okay, heâs got Roman here, and he knows vaguely what he has planned he just doesnât know how to start it.
First, compose yourself. Be nonchalant. Put up the bad boy shield. He breathes once more.
Okay. Heâs ready to do this incredibly shitty thing to his best friend, although some of it isnât going to be a lie, itâs still not going to go well for either of them.
He slinks his hand up Romanâs chest to rest it against his shoulder, Roman tenses a bit.
âHey, so. Iâve been meaning to tell you.â He starts, technically not lying but still painful âI, uh thought Christmas might be a good time.â It would be if the situation was different. âI kinda have a thingâ he says.
Roman is looking at him with worry âa thing?â He asks.
âYea, a thingâ Virgil replies, stepping closer to Roman and putting his other hand on Romanâs other shoulder. âA thing, for youâ He moves in closer, linking his arms around Romanâs neck.
Roman grabs Virgilâs arms lightly before stepping back âVirgil, I. Iâm flattered I really truly am.â And this is where itâs gonna hurt the most, he braces for it.
âHeya! Whatâs goin on here?â Remusâ voice pierces through Virgilâs head.
Oh no oh no oh no oh no nonononononononooooo, worst case scenario!
âOooh, are we recruiting Virgie into our little relationship?â
What?...... What? What?
Roman sighs. Remus drapes himself over Romanâs shoulders.
âI donât mind one bit if he joins usâ he says winking at Virgil.
âRemus, please.â Roman says. âWe already decided to speak with him together, I wouldn't be doing it without you."
What the fuck is going on here.
âWait wait wait, back up a fucking second here. What is going on right now?â
Roman and Remus look at him in unison, Roman sighs again.
âRemus and I, are in a relationship with each other.â
âYuh huh, got that.â
âWe were meaning for you to be the first one we tell, because if you took it well, we were...â Roman trails off, Remus rolls his eyes.
âWe were gonna ask if youâd like to hook up with us!â
âRemus, tact please.â
Oh. Well. Okay then, this is not where he thought this would go.
âHook up?â Virgil asks.
âThatâs a crude way of saying it, what he meant was-â Roman says extending a hand towards Virgil â-would you like the honour of becoming our beau?â
He looks to Romanâs hand, to his eyes to Remus. Theyâre serious.
This is fucking weird. And exciting. And weird. And amazing. And weird. And heâs totally going to say yes, cause when your long time crush asks you to be his boyfriend and you also get to be his twins boyfriend, (who, lets face it Virgil has had a crush on before too) youâre not going to decline something like that.
So he takes Romanâs hand and instantly is pulled towards the twins, two pairs of arms are now around him, he can get used to that.
âWe should probably head back to the partyâ Roman whisperers in Virgilâs hair.
âWait, I just wanna ask, you seemed like you were so ready to reject me before Remus came up.â
âAh, I was actually going to say after being genuinely flattered that I should probably go get Remus and we can have a conversation in more depth, he beat me to the punch it seemsâ Roman says chuckling and turning his head to kiss his brothers cheek.
âOh, well. I have to confess.â Virgil says stepping away and rubbing the back of his neck. âOkay this is gonna sound super shitty, and itâs because it is and Iâm very truly sorry.â
Roman and Remus exchange a glance.
âOkay so I asked you to come up here because I wanted you to confess to me about being in a relationship with Remus and I was going to use my own feelings for you as an excuse for you to do that and I know itâs super shitty of me and I understand that it might make you retract your confession I know and again Iâm super super sorry I just thought if you publicly came out with your relationship youâd feel better about it and you wouldnât have to sneak around anymore and youâd just be happy and I just want you to be happy.â By the end of the tirade that was said in basically one long string he notices heâs crying, shit.
The twins both have a soft look on their faces, they donât seem mad even though they should be.
Roman opens his arms in an invitation, Virgil hesitates. Remus steps beside Roman to make the hug width larger, both of them wiggle their fingers at Virgil.
He goes to them, he places himself in the hug and the twins cage him in warmth.
~~~
They return downstairs, all fluttery butterflies in their stomachs and smiles on their faces.
Roman addresses the room. âEveryone, I have a sneaking suspicion about some of the events of tonight.â
Everyone goes quiet, looking at Roman.
âHey me too!â Remus says.
âAh so youâve been thinking the same thing dear brother?â
âOh definitely.â
âYouâve all already knew about usâ âyou wanna start a harem!â
Everyone looks at Remus.
âWhat?â Roman says âwhoâs harem would it even be?â
âT- Thomasâ?â He says slowly.
Patton is the one to laugh first.
âNo on the harem kiddo, but yes on the knowing part.â
âWhy didnât you just tell us you knew?â Roman asks.
Deceit drapes himself over Patton and Loganâs thighs to holler âwe didnât want you to be mad at us or freak out you drama king!â
âHhooow much has he drank?â Virgil says eyeing Deceit.
âIâve drank just about as much as I did when you left!â He declares âbut this is a happy buzz so itâs completely different and I feel great!â
Patton giggles as he pats Deceitâs back, Logan smirks with his own hand in Dees hair.
Deceit leans into Loganâs touch, Patton giggles even more.
âThe three of us had a bit when you guys were conversationing upstairs.â
âConversing, Patton dear.â
âYea that.â
Deceit snickers, Patton bops his head âshhhh donât laugh at me.â
Deceit just bleps in response.
Remus has the largest smile on his face, Roman too has an amused smile, Virgil is out right trying not to laugh out loud.
âSo everyone is okay with this incesty thing going on with me an Ro?â
âOf course kiddo, as long as you guys are happy itâs a-okay with us!â
âAlright cool! Hey Virgil has joined us!â
âWoah woahâ Virgil says âyou couldnât have eased into that a bit better!â
Remus shrugs.
Patton lets out a high pitched squeal of delight. âAwwwww! Youâve finally got your prince! Iâm so happy for yoooou and youâve got two of them!â
Logan puts a hand on his boyfriends shoulder âalright calm down.â
âIâve just got a lot of feelings right now.â
âI know, you always do.â
Deceit flips himself to be facing the two heâs laying on and puts his hand on Pattonâs face âsssssssshhhhhhh itâs okaaaaaaay.â
Well isnât this just the cutest thing.
âSo shall we get on with our party then?â Roman asks.
âOh! No, one more thing! I didnât get to do it!â Patton perks up and waves his hand above the other trio.
They look up and there is a mistletoe.
They look at each other with smiles, Roman and Remus kiss first then they both plant one on Virgil.