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Name: stars in the forest
Series: Utapri
Characters: Ittoki Otoya, Ichinose Tokiya
Summary: Four instances during a production of a series.
Notes: a bday gift for bday girl @lolis4laifu! kyaaa im here today with an (implied) tokioto!!! kinda takes place after sun in the night but nothing too concrete. also many thanks to @peekabooitsmiko for helping me to bring a lot of this fic to life!!! (thats right, i talked about tokioto without you, im sorry)
i. before
When he received the script, he was only aware of the story that inspired this production. And Otoya being Otoya and the busy schedule, hadn’t read the script yet. But it was a production with QUARTET NIGHT, and Tokiya and everyone else accepted the job too. If everyone is fine with it, Otoya guesses that he would be too.
It’s only when Nanami came to him in the break of dance practice, a soft adorable pink hue on her cheeks that he realised that the production is not as simple and cute that he thought. “Hey, Ittoki-kun, have you read the script?”
A weird reaction, but he didn’t think too much about it, and simply laughed then. “Nope! I kinda fell asleep immediately after getting it. Maybe later!”
Her eyes dip then, and Otoya thought that her blush got deeper. Weird. “A-Ah, alright. Do your best, Ittoki-kun!”
Along with the thought that Nanami was cute as usual, was a sudden nervousness. Especially when Tokiya suddenly seems to be shifting awkwardly beside him.
And there’s the shared glance between Nanami and Tokiya too.
The first thing he does once he’s back in the apartment is flipping open the script. By the end of it, he’s lying curled up on the couch, unable to meet Tokiya’s eyes.
But even if he can’t see the other’s face, he feels as though the other is awkward too, as he fixes up the kitchen and the rest of the apartment. It takes another 10 minutes before Tokiya finally sits down in front of him. Taking a deep breath, Otoya attempts to meet his eyes.
He manages, just a little.
“You really should check the script before you accept the job.”
The peal of laughter that tumbles out of his mouth is sheepish and too dry to be fully natural. “I guess you’re right! But... it’s okay.”
Blue eyes stay on him for a while longer, an inquisitive seriousness as he purses his lips. “Really? If you don’t want to, you can still cancel.”
Tokiya says so, despite knowing the complications that come with backing out of a contract that he has already signed. And his thoughtfulness makes a little of the awkwardness fade, replaced by the warmth that he has always felt towards the other.
There’s a soft smile on his lips, lowering the script book that he has been holding the whole time. “It’s okay.”
“Really?” He prods further, eyes glimmering with meaning. “I told you, right? I’d like it if you don’t put fronts with me. So, if you’re uncomfortable with it, we can back out of it.”
Otoya’s heart swells, but he shakes his head. The awkwardness he felt towards the story has completely dissipate by then. It has always been hard to stay uncomfortable with Tokiya anyway. And his questions only serve to help Otoya realise that it isn’t discomfort he feels, but mere embarrassment.
He clears his throat, quoting, “‘If it’s the two of us, I’m sure it’ll be fun.’”
Visible shock clearly spreads on Tokiya’s face and Otoya has to laugh. But Tokiya still doesn’t say anything, and Otoya takes it upon himself to elaborate further. “It’s just that I thought Lycoris would be just like Red Riding Hood! But, the script is like Romeo and Juliet instead, and I was kinda surprised!”
“Is that… the truth?” Tokiya asks again.
Otoya nods again, his own eyes looking straight into the other’s. It’s only when Tokiya finally smiles that he grins too.
ii. process
“Otoya, I don’t think this is how we should be practising lines.” Tokiya’s reprimand is light, and Otoya doesn’t react much to it, just jutting out his bottom lip to form a pout that the other is unable to see anyway.
He twists his neck to meet Tokiya’s eyes, only to ensure that Tokiya isn’t really trying to get him to sit properly before he drops back down, his arms and head dangling off the arm of the sofa. He squints at the letterings on the book. Okay, so his neck is a little stiff from the position but he’s still comfortable like this.
“What? You don’t like this, Tokiya?”
The response comes a little late, and Otoya thought that he hadn’t heard his question at first. But before he could repeat it again, there’s a hand ruffling his hair. Letting out a pleased sigh, he closes his eyes at familiar warmth of the hand.
“... No. Not at all.” Otoya could hear the smile in the voice, and he’s about to go back to the script again when the leg beneath him moves, causing pain to spread at his ribcage, and Otoya has to let out a whine. “--Though my legs are falling asleep, so I’ll be grateful if you could get up, Otoya.”
A disgruntled noise in his throat, Otoya finally pushes himself up then, settling down at the spot next to Tokiya, a hand rubbing his stomach at where Tokiya’s leg basically kicked. “You didn’t have to do that,” he complains, a pout on his lips.
That gets a chuckle out of him, amusement sparkling in his eyes. He adjusts himself, crossing his legs now that they’re free from Otoya’s weight. He simply points to the script. Though, rather than lines from the script, the words out of his mouth forms a question instead. “So, what do you think, Otoya?”
Despite the vagueness of the question, Otoya understands. It’s a question about his opinion of this scene. It’s a common question they ask each other whenever they practised scripts, as a way to familiarise themselves with their own interpretations of the character and the work. But this time, Otoya feels like the question is a little more loaded. Not just about what he thinks, but how he feels.
It reminds him of just a few days ago, where the usual clear blue eyes seem unnecessarily anxious when Tokiya tries to make sure that Otoya is fine with this role. His own eyes turning back to the lines, he leans comfortably against the couch. It’s the first meeting of the characters that they play. At the cave.
“Mm-- I really like it.” A pause. “I mean, they only just met each other, but they clicked really well. And it’s nice that they promised to see the world again. It’s probably my favourite scene.”
Tokiya seems to still for a moment, and Otoya looked questioningly at him. It takes a while before he finally speaks.
“This… is my favourite scene too.”
There’s a tenderness in Tokiya’s voice.
The exact same kind of voice Otoya expects Randolph to have in this scene. (The director’s choice in casting Randolph is maybe, too apt.)
“And…” Otoya can’t help but add after a few seconds. “I think this scene showed what they mean to each other. Blood is really bright and friendly, but I don’t think he’ll have made this kind of promise to just anyone!”
“I won’t forget the star that shines the brightest…” he quotes. “Just like what Randolph thinks of Blood, Blood also thinks of him as the light, you know!”
He looks back up, eyes full of meaning and grins.
iii. afterparty
Otoya is on the other side of the room.
After exchanging the basic pleasantries, his eyes starts searching for the other out of habit. Immediately, he considers crossing the room, but Otoya is laughing and grinning with Reiji and the other members of QUARTET NIGHT.
Tokiya turns away instead.
Not quite knowing what he should do, and his mind still wanting to go to Otoya’s, he decides to take out his phone. His left hand is holding a drink, but he could still type well enough with his right hand.
But one thing for sure, I’m glad that you played Blood, Otoya.
The notification comes a mere three minutes later, just as Tokiya picks up the crepe made in the image of Randolph.
-- Me too, Tokiya.
He raises his head, just in time to see Otoya making his way to him, all bright smiles and grins.
“Done with talking to Reiji?”
It’s meant to be a simple question, but from the tease that seem to sparkle in Otoya’s eyes… Maybe there was that little bit of spite in it.
Tokiya coughs.
“Mm, not really. But I came to talk to you, Tokiya!”
A pause before he sighs. “Hey, you know in times like this, you’re supposed to say yes, that you’ve finished talking.”
He just laughs. And Tokiya shakes his head.
“Hey, Tokiya.” Otoya’s still smiling. “Thanks.”
That’s... surprising. Not the thanks itself -- Otoya thanks people easily and frequently, a trait that’s endearing and cute -- but the voice it was said in… The tone. It feels... little heavier than usual?
“For what?”
Another laugh. “For being Randolph.”
He feels his cheeks warm. “Idiot. You already said that.”
“Nope! Tweeting it is different from saying it! So… I thought I should say it in person too.”
“I see.”
Otoya looks at him expectantly, as if waiting.
“Fine, fine.” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “I’m glad that you’re Blood, Otoya.”
The grin he receives in response makes him glad that he said it after all.
iv. extra
“So, is this Randolph’s paw?”
“I suppose so. The way you phrase it makes it sound like a variation of the Monkey’s Paw.”
“Then, doesn’t that mean that it can grant wishes?”
“Perhaps. Then, Otoya, make a wish then.”
“Mm…. Then, Randolph’s Paw, Randolph’s Paw, may Randolph and Blood be happy in their next life. Let them see the rest of the world…!”
“... Isn’t that what I tweeted?”
“Yep! I made a wish for you!”
“Shouldn’t you make your own wish?”
“Then… Since they’re our characters… Randolph’s Paw, Randolph’s Paw, may Tokiya and I be happy in this life! Let’s always be together!”
@lolis4laifu replied to your post “YOU LIKE HXH??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
omg you like hxh???
hxh? noo???? i dont know what that is, i- *trips* *hundreds of caps of gon freecss spill from pockets* fuck those aren’t mine i swear i’m just holding them for a friend i- *slips on a pile of pictures as i cry bc i stepped on them* fu ck no they’re not mine idk what this green boy is i just- *more pictures fall out as i fall to my knees, desperately trying to pick them up, crying* hang on a sec jUst LISTEN
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Name: Sun in the Night
Series: Utapri
Characters: Ittoki Otoya, Ichinose Tokiya
Summary: A conversation after a nightmare.
Notes: a bday gift for @lolis4laifu! hbd, ily odin!! you are the tokioto veteran so i tried not to make things super detailed bc im scared of inaccuracies hsihagsufhss but we’ve talked so much ep9 which im still upset about how it ended so here??? hiahdghaj i hope you like it aaaa
“Otoya? Otoya? Wake up--”
The first thing he sees is a face-- a familiar face-- who--?
His vision clears and focuses-- blue hair, the pair of beautiful blue eyes--
“To...kiya…”
The name is mumbled, slurred with sleep.
The originally scrunched up face softens as the man breathes out a sigh of relief. Otoya did not notice before, but there are beads of sweat running down his roommate’s face, the brows which were pressed together in lines of worry relaxes, smoothing out to his usual impassive face.
“What’s wrong?” His voice is still slurred, mind littered with sleep.
Tokiya moves away and that’s when Otoya finally realises that the other has been hovering over him. Hands balancing on the bed, he pushes himself up, hands rubbing at his eyes.
“You were having a nightmare.”
Eyes still half closed, Otoya cannot help the flinch at the unexpected ghosting of Tokiya’s hand over his cheeks. A blink later, he’s faced with Tokiya wiping the same hand on his pants. Otoya opens his mouth to question but stops short as a realisation dawns on him. Immediately, his own hands reaches upwards to wipe at his cheeks.
Sure enough, they come away damp.
He sits there in a moment of awkwardness before he laughs, a hand reaching upwards to rub sheepishly at his nape. “Sorry, sorry, did I wake you up?”
“No… I was awake.”
Oh, right. Tokiya mentioned he wanted to finish that book. That means… he witnessed the entire nightmare sequence? That’s... kinda embarrassing.
Tokiya has always remarked about his sleeping position, too messy, even reprimanding him on how dangerous it is. He recalls waking up to a cold finger poking his exposed stomach constantly on one hot summer day. The face that greeted him looked exasperated, but not without a hint of amusement dancing in his eyes. But even that wasn’t embarrassing at all. Otoya doesn’t mind Tokiya seeing how he sleeps at all, but this time was...
Otoya does not want Tokiya to see him like this. Not after a nightmare. Not after this kind of nightmare.
He just laughs.
“Do you want to talk about it?” He detects traces of worry in the soft voice, but before he can reassure-- “You’ve been acting strange after your duet with Eiichi.”
Otoya twines his fingers together.
“Are you sure you’re alright?”
A pause. Otoya should not be surprised that Tokiya noticed. Tokiya is too close to him, too perceptive, and there’s a small part of him that is happy that Tokiya cares, but-- A bright smile. “Of course! I was okay when you all came to pick me up at the fields. I was happy.”
“But you seem different.”
There’s nothing but worry in Tokiya’s voice, but for a second, all Otoya can think is-- “But it’s fake?”
Admiration, worry, affection, all gone.
Just contempt--
Otoya swallows.
He wants to push that image back down -- the haunting image that never left his mind even after finding his answer. But it’s hard. No matter how much he tries to think of something else, the nightmare is still too fresh, emotions too heavy. He can’t hold onto the answer he arrived at, can’t make himself think that it’s really okay when everyone leaves.
“Tell me.”
“I... just think that you will... leave.” A pause, then his subsequent words come in short breaths. Otoya isn’t sure why he even told him; The truth simply tumbles out of his mouth awkwardly, a confused mess. “Get disappointed. Go away from me. It’s kinda stupid but--”
An arching of eyebrows. Concern. “It’s not--”
“I know, but when I say it out, it just feels stupid.”
Otoya’s heart is hammering in his chest and for a whole two seconds that seem to stretch into eternity, he regrets his decision to speak up, spill his secrets -- it’s not really a secret though. If he’s really alright with the possibility that everyone will be disappointed, Otoya shouldn’t be afraid.
But the nightmares remain.
Of them each leaving, one by one. Masato. Natsuki. Ren. Cecil. Syo. Nanami. Even Tokiya.
Then a hand is placed gently on his shoulder, drawing him out of his images conjured by the too vivid nightmare. Serious blue eyes stare intently into his -- Tokiya’s eyes are always so pretty. “I won’t be disappointed in you. I can’t speak for everyone but I… believe the rest feel this way too. Otoya, I won’t leave. Nor anyone else.”
Otoya grits his teeth, voice sharper than intended. “You don’t know that.”
Surprise flickers in the blue orbs, hand on his shoulder tightens ever so slightly.
“Sorry.” Otoya dips his head. “In times like this, I... can’t be the Ittoki Otoya you expect me to be…”
“Wait.” His voice is quiet now, slight tinge of horror steeping into his voice. “Expect you to be? I’m not expecting you to be anything, Otoya.”
“No, that’s not--” He’s shaking his head before he notices, words spilling out before they’re processed-- are they okay to be said? To be revealed to... Ichinose Tokiya? “I have to always smile. And if you ever know that my smiles are fake--”
“Otoya.” The hand on his shoulder is strong, voice losing the gentleness, replaced by firmness, and the words in Otoya’s throat die. “It’s alright if your smiles are not real.”
He stares back, uncomprehending. “What?”
“You don’t have to smile all the time.”
He just stares.
A sigh. “You’re not a robot, Otoya. You may be an idol -- yes, you have the image of an idol to keep up, but that doesn’t mean that you must uphold the image all the time. You are human. Of course, you have times you’re down.”
"...”
Tokiya levels a gaze at him, a small smile on his lips. “And I too, would like it if you don’t put up fronts with me. I like to think that I’m your closest friend. So... you should be sad when you’re sad. Be angry when you’re angry. You don’t have to smile when you don’t want to. Whatever you’re feeling at the moment, you should show it.”
Tokiya takes a hand into his, the warmth of his hands transmitting to Otoya’s cold one. “I want to see the real Ittoki Otoya.”
His breath catches, his hand itches to flip itself over to hold Tokiya’s but it remains frozen, awkward.
“But...” he starts, but unsure of how to continue. His throat feels dry.
Tokiya doesn’t prompt him to continue, but simply waits, eyes still looking straight at him.
“W-What if... you don’t like the real me?”
Tokiya’s lips quirk up just a little, amusement in his gaze. “After all the stunts and worry you’ve caused me when you sleep? That would be difficult.”
Otoya makes a noise, indignant.
A chuckle. “You could try.” Then, he flips Otoya’s hand over and twines their fingers together.
He repeats, tone gentle. “I’d like to see it, Otoya.”
In the depths of the dark night, Otoya can’t help but think that Tokiya’s smile is like the sun.
