#lol.exe

bro i just licked a ceiling fan and now my thoughts are sponsored by spaghetti dolphins who speak only in reverse kazoo language. my left sock turned into a republican toaster named Greg and he won't stop arguing with my fridge about quantum bean theory. help. the moon just DM’d me asking for my Netflix password and now my elbows are glowing Morse code in Sanskrit. i accidentally invented a new color called blorple by microwaving a crayon with emotional damage. Elon Musk just flew past my window in a flying kazoo yelling ‘WAFFLE RIGHTS FOR ALL’ and i think my grandma turned into a Discord mod. life is a simulation and the WiFi is powered by penguin tears. also i swallowed a cloud and now i speak in precipitation. i am legally a platypus.

Me: just gonna watch one video real quick YouTube: recommends "the skibidi adventures of baby gronk episode 68" Me: "What in the cursed animation multiverse—" Brain: "Click it." Me: clicks YouTube algorithm: drags me into an endless rabbit hole of bizarre 3D animations, AI-generated horrors, and meme compilations from 2017 Me, two hours later: questioning my life choices while watching a Minecraft movie DLC trailer

Gnarpy: *loudly declares* "I’m the king of chaos!" Me: "But you’re just a little green cat with antennae." Gnarpy: *snorts* "That’s what they want you to believe."

Me: *attempts to sleep* Brain: "What if you were a cactus in another life?" Me: "I could handle being prickly, but I don’t think I could handle the heat." Brain: "But what if you could?" Me: *rolls over and gives up on sleep*

Me: *posts something at 3 AM* Me in the morning: "Who let me have internet access?"

Daniel yelling, "Not again!" in the distance.