#logic...

I’m partially jealous to people who have actual problems. Those who have everyday struggle with getting a food to table ‘cause the lack of money, have abusive parents or friends, who have absolutely no-one in their life, who struggle with variety of mental illnesses... And then there’s me. I’ve all the money. I have absolutely awesome parents and friends, I live with the coolest, funniest, greatest and most inspiring person I’ve ever met. And still I’m sad. Even though I have no reason to be. Like, I’m quite social, I’m rather skilled artist, I have education and shit and no illness is standing on my way. I could do anything cool with my life.

But here I am. Sitting on the couch, basically crying my eyes out because I don’t know how to draw little girls. Or so it at least feels like, that’s the shit that kind of triggered this stupid “I’m worthless why am I still here” feeling. What the actual fuck me. 

On days like this I would really like to draw some vent art. But as drawing is the second common reason why I even start to feel bad (first one being getting a job etc. you know, shit I just have to do because I was born as a human), so it feels kinda pointless. I mean, I wanna ease bad feeling with something that causes me even worse feeling. Maybe if I could just say fuck it and just doodle something ugly and stupid without caring about the quality, but I just don’t know how. And that’s again one reason to feel sad because oh boohoo my life is hard I don’t know how to do this simple thing.