ominuous prompts! // 32: unbelonging
AN EXERPT FROM A JOURNAL FOUND BENEATHA MATTRESS.Â
  I am a ghost in my own skin.Â
  Certainly, this is irrefutable. I haunt myself. I haunt myself,   in this skeletal house, in this body of a house, all blood and  skin and muscle. I walk the halls of my own bones, mapping  myself out, looking for something, something that I donât   know. I am looking for that part of me that does not belong,   so that I can rip it out and begin again.
  I am a ghost in my own skin.
  There has never been sense of belonging: no, a restless-  ness hangs about me, a heavy thing that weighs me down,   rattles about in my chest. I have never known peace, always  feeling the calling, the pulling, the feeling that I, I do not belong   here. I am a thorn-bush amongst roses, a creature that almost,   almost fits in, but maybe I am not something that is meant to stay.
  I am a ghost in my own skin.Â
  My body: a graveyard. I have killed myself again and again,  buried myself amongst the forget-me-nots, swallowed my-  self down. I have buried so many versions of myself, a mourner   at my own funeral. Here I lie, a creature that does not belong. A   creature not meant for this world.
  I feel like I have always existed a little to the left of where  I should be.Â
  Everyone else fits together so perfectly, but I do not. I am the  leftover screw, the part that was left out, the thing that no-one  knows what to do with. I do not blame them. Maybe there is   something in me that is rotten. If I can rip it out, then maybe:   maybe I will belong.
  Then again, maybe not.
  I am a ghost in my own skin, existing a little to the left of   where I should be. Maybe I am not meant to stay.