#loathe

Ever since that day, Sanemi has once again withdrawn himself from your wake—you couldn’t find him anywhere, again. Just when the relationship was starting to get better, you feel like you’d ruined it.

Sanemi is a very strange person, he has a strong presence indeed but whatever going on inside his head is always nothing but a mystery to solve. You don’t like complications, and yet he’s one.

The situationship you had was going really good, until the injury that happened with your arm. It seems like something is ticking back inside Sanemi’s head, making him regret ever being nice to you, trying to open up and accept the arrangement.

You are getting tired with the push and pull in this relationship—not that Sanemi did something wrong to you anyway, all the things that you and he did was strictly consensual and both parties agreed to do so, it’s just the notion of not having his real heart and mind for yourself and you only is… diabolical.

Wait, what? Am I falling in love with him?

“Hello?” A male voice called out from outside the room, your bedroom is still dimly lit, you haven’t been wanting to go out of your room much lately for some reason.

You didn’t jump nor care, it’s not the voice of the person you wanted to hear anyway.

It has been like this, for you. You have been achin to hear his voice, his mums, anything from him—you have been desperately looking for him and yet you never find the reason why you want to. You’re just very attracted to him, you want to be near him, always. 

And you didn’t know since when this feelings started, was it before he ignores you? Or after? Are you just wanting his attention because you’re lonely? Surely one can’t expect to be loved by someone who treats you very…abruptly…

“Excuse me, hello?” The strange man called again from outside, you got up slowly following the voice.

“Yes? How can I help you?” Answering without opening the door, you lean against the paper window.

“I’m just here to tell you that Master Shinazugawa is coming back home tonight. His raven arrived earlier, he has returned safely from his 1 month mission. Anything I can assist you to prepare for his return Mrs. Shinazugawa?”

You paused, the excitement you have been waiting for is back—you can’t wait to see his tall figure crowding over you, his sleazy eyes, his sharp tongue and gruff voice. You can’t wait to bicker with him again. The last time he left it was bitter on both sides, hoping the one month space would give him better mind.

“No need, thank you so much for telling me!” Your excitement is bleeding out from your mouth at this point, your eyes pop with immense sparks. He is back, he will be back!!

You gather yourself softly, sitting in the salt water milk bath you arranged with the helpers, scrubbing your skin with the stone you received from the Stone Hashira, he said it’s good to keep the skin glowing and clean—you never tried one before, why should you? But now you have a reason, something inside you is growing for your husband.

Sheepishly dressing yourself carefully, with the new kimono he bought you from his previous mission. The man never utter a word, but when he gave you the present he said it was just the courtesy as your husband. Very cute of him, never seen that side of him again afterward.

Letting your beautiful hair flow, the smile plastered on your pale face is beaming with positivity, maybe today is the day everything changed. This is not the first time Sanemi has left you for a long time, but this is the first time that he tried to be more civil with you.

“Welcome back, husband.” You smiled sheepishly, manicured nails shine through the night candles—your fingers intertwined with one another perfectly, gripping on the silk of your night kimono.

As if the air has been caught in Sanemi’s throat, he cleared his voice before returning with a simple “I’m home.”

Looking away with slanted eyes, he tried to take another look from the corner of his gaze. You knew, and it is working.

A month ago you begged on your knees for him to mend your injured arm, after that he left immediately for another mission being ambushed physically himself—you knew he just wanted space to run away from you, seconded from saving people from demons.

A month from that, Sanemi is standing tall with no apparent injuries but slightly messy hair and scent of wood.

“How was your trip?” You took off all his belongings, this time he lets you do it. Giddy, your heart skipped a beat when you realized he’s letting you take off his Haori too when his lazy eyes stare down at you.

With the biggest strength you could carry, your eyes darted up to catch his gaze.

“Are you okay?” Your voice a mumble, his eyes are just so heavy tonight—like he’s carrying a lot of baggages he refused to unburden. Sanemi shakes his head, a slight groan escaped his red lips.

Sanemi leans down, crouching a bit of his tall figure just so he can fit with yours.

“I want you.” His voice hot as steam, like someone pouring hot water on your skin, you jolt.

“Me?” Spiraling, your eyes begin to shake in questions.

“Yes. You. My wife.” He repeated and groaned when you recoiled from his words, he doesn’t deter as his gruff fingers cupped your chin gently, rushed, but soft.

“Kiss me,” he begs in haste—he has never been like this, as if it’s not him at all. What has gotten into Sanemi?

“Shinazugawa-san I thi-”

“Call my name,” his lips hung near yours, mouth slightly agape. “Call my name, please.” He continued, voice shaking with devotion that you’d never experience and thought will never experience from him.

“Sanemi.” You called out his name, without further actions he smashed his lips onto yours, yearning, wanting, robbing you for himself only.

He carries you effortlessly, sliding his huge palms down to your thighs as he let your legs wrap itself around his built, can’t do it perfectly but you tried.

Sanemi lets you cling to him, be too close to him. His hardened shaft is brushing against your damp core, he lets it linger there, pressing, rubbing you against himself.

Your mouth slurred moans and cries, soft mewls overwhelming his ears when his tongue finally laps inside your thirsty one, opening your lips slightly bigger so he can shove everything inside your needy mouth.

Grinding against his dick, your mouth couldn’t stop quavering against his, your tongue trying to prob onto his, only to get it lapped on again and again. 

Sanemi doesn’t kiss, he eats.

Your head’s slammed against the thin wall of Wind Estate, the loud bang can be heard throughout the hallway, as if anyone cares.

“God,” Sanemi curses when he pulls his mouth away from yours, only to be greeted by your lushed abused lips trailed with mixed saliva, he quickly unbuckles his pants.

“Do you want this?” Was his question, as if he ever asked any—as if you ever wanted to say no to him, it’s always a yes, even without wording it out for him. You always want him, inside or on you.

Nodding desperately, you took off the top of your kimono letting him lavish on the sight of your beautiful tits. He smirked but eyes hooded to look like he has it all together, so he kisses your neck and bites the milky skin before entering you.

When you feel his tip rubbing against your hole, a moan escaped your mouth only to be greeted by a quick exhale from him, it was like a ghost trickling your wake like begging gods to hear.

“Please, Sanemi, now,” you choked up on your own words when he slowly enters you—he never done this, why is he doing this?

When you blink open your eyes, lashes fluttering up, you realize he’s watching your reaction.

“I want to see you,” he pauses, choking in his own words “…taking me,” he groans softly, leaning in your ear leaf—nipping on the soft skin, “slowly. Just like that.” He taunts, half of his shaft already expanding inside your pussy.

“You’re always like this,” he taunts again, this time breathless as he can feel himself slowly sinking inside your wet hole, you tried to close your eyes but he shook his head.

“Such a needy little brat.” He licks your cheeks, tasting you as if kissing isn’t enough. And when he finally hits your tilt, you groan so hard that he had to smash inside you once more in a quick motion.

The moans coming out of Sanemi is like something you have been wanting to hear, letting his dick ripping you apart deliciously, letting him taking over you as if you’re a helpless prey—when in fact this is what you actually want.

“Don’t stop please,” beg you, eyes rolled to the back of your head as he bounces inside you, thrusting his dick deep lacing it with your wetness.

The sound of skin slapping and squelching is prominent, knowing that you are just so ready for him every time.

“Just like a toy, mindless little toy,” he whispers, lips just brushing against your open mouth.

“Ya’ surely enjoy being treated like this,” he snaps, his hips rolling inside you like he owns you—in which maybe he does, “look at ya’” the tip of his dick brushes against your clit, earning him the loudest moan of the night in a gist.

“I’m-” you quiver when his hard shaft keeps brushing the same spot inside you, creating gush of your wetness every time the friction is earned. He feels it, he feels everything—from the way your hole grips his dick, from the wetness coating his pulsating shaft, the cries drooling out from your mouth are like gospel of sins.

“I know, I know.” Sanemi quips, thrusting deeper, feeling you more intensely, fingers dug deep under your smooth thighs. The man is done.

You felt the enormous euphoria ripping through your halls, up to your abdomen, hotness running and seating comfortably on your chest. Bubbles of excitement and pounding of your heart trickled up to your throat, lush mouth of yours fell open with streams of sniffles and scream. You came so hard, the hardest you’ve ever been.

Sanemi hugs both your small thighs with one arm while the other slammed the thin walls beside your head, his cum was ripping through his body like snake’s venom. He can feel every inch of his veins burning with pleasure, the kind he can’t scratch off but let it be haunting his cells and insides. The pleasure you gave him was beyond his own beliefs, how can you feel so good and made him feel so good.

Was it the hate? The longing? The situationship?

The breaths coming from his mouth is steamy, you can see puffs from his mouth. 

Your body went limp in a second, Sanemi softly put you on the soft wooden floor, letting you rest your head on the wall when he tried to fix his pants.

His hair is damp and sticking all over his forehead, his eyes are awake and not in a haze anymore, he’s back to his old hating self—you thought.

“Are you tired?” Sanemi Shinazugawa tried to make a conversation. Wow.

“Hmm,” you hummed slouching lazily, as rustled sound making its way to your ears, Sanemi buckling his belt bag to its place, when something touched your ankle.

You peeked through lazy eyes to see a white, coffee colored paper balancing on your boney feet.

“Sanemi you dropped something.” Calling to him, you grab the paper which turns out to be a drawing in a piece of old crumpled paper.

Before you could say anything more, Sanemi quickly grabbed the drawing and put it back to his shirt, on the left side near his chest.

“Wait…” your energy came surging back, this time you wish it hadn’t.

A drawing of Kanae Kocho dropped from his pocket and he quickly grabbed it as if you weren’t supposed to see.