#loa2

Ending 1- Finding Our Match:

It wasn’t an ordinary Monday at Ricci & Associates. The team had been celebrating their big win against Martin and Calvin Colby all weekend. Little did Quinn and Aislinn know, Gabe was planning a surprise for them. Once everyone arrived, he called the entire staff into the lobby. He announced that he was promoting Quinn and Aislinn to founding partners. Not only that, but Joaquin was also starting his first day at the firm as a corporate law expert. Everyone could feel the change in the air, the excitement was palpable. The firm was getting bigger with each passing day. They were finally going to make a real difference like they had always dreamed of. After toasting to the new firm’s name, everyone went back to work as usual.

At the end of his first workday, Joaquin walks nervously down the corridor to Quinn’s office. He planned to do what he said at the Brass Monkey, ask Quinn out on a date. A real one. He takes a deep breath and knocks on her door, his heart pounding in his chest. He’s surprised at his reaction, knowing this is abnormal for him. He’s usually so confident, but with Quinn, he finds himself second guessing everything. Quinn shouts, “come in” while going over some paperwork at her desk. Talking himself up quietly, he refuses to back down now and prepares to greet her.

“Knock knock…” he smiles, striding in with a self-assured smirk, hoping Quinn won’t catch on to his nerves. “Oh, hey Joaquin. How was your first day?” She gives him an interested look while signing the documents in front of her. Joaquin takes a seat on the chair across from her desk. “Good. Gabe showed me around and got me acclimated to everything. Congratulations on the new promotion. It’s an exciting day for both of us, huh?”. Quinn grins, putting her paperwork into the filing cabinet and sitting back down. “It sure is. I wasn’t expecting Gabe to do that for Aislinn and I. We’ve only tried to do the right thing as lawyers, but I’m not complaining about it either. A pay raise is always nice”. Joaquin laughs, silently fiddling with his thumbs while trying to remain stoic. “You’re a fantastic lawyer, Quinn, and an even better person. You deserve this”.

She smiles at him, enjoying this heartfelt moment over the usual flirtatious, sarcastic banter she’s gotten used to. “I guess now that you got the job you wanted, you don’t have to creep up on me in the parking garage or sneak into my office anymore”. Trying to think three steps ahead, Joaquin looks into Quinn’s eyes, running his hand through his hair. “You mean you didn’t like it? I thought we were having so much fun”. He winks, putting on his classic wicked smile. Quinn shakes her head with a sigh. “I’m just saying, we can be real coworkers now. No need to sneak around or invite me on fake dates”. Joaquin steadies himself, trying to think of something witty, but believable to capture Quinn’s attention. He hopes she’ll say yes to what he’s about to ask. “We don’t have to stop seeing each other if you don’t want to, and we certainly don’t have to stop going on dates either. Unless you like the sneaking around of course…then I’m happy to oblige”. Quinn raises her eyebrow in confusion and slight intrigue. “Are you asking me out on a date, Joaquin?’. He leans forward, not breaking eye contact with her, feeling the most vulnerable that he has in a long time. “I meant what I said the other night at the Brass Monkey. I want to take you on a real date.” Quinn tries to hide her shocked expression. “You’re serious? This isn’t a plot or a plan for something?” Joaquin leans back in his chair, creating a playful, pained expression on his face, placing his hand over his heart. “Quinn, you wound me. I thought I made it clear by now that you can trust me. Have I steered you wrong yet?”. She stares at him for a second, searching his eyes for any sign that this is a joke. There’s nothing there but him looking back at her genuinely. Quinn bites her lip for a second, looking down. Despite her best efforts, she can’t deny the chemistry she shares with Joaquin. The way his energy has pulled her in no matter how hard she’s tried to have a wall up. No matter how many times she’s been suspicious of his motivations, his intel has always checked out. Their relationship started out unconventionally, but his attentiveness and tenacity were hard for her to ignore. Her voice is serious as she answers. “No, you haven’t steered me wrong. I’ve realized that. I guess I never thought your advances were anything but planned and calculated”. Joaquin leans across Quinn’s desk, taking her hands in his, looking deeply into her eyes. “Despite what you may think about me or my past Quinn, our relationship was never just about sex or personal gain for me. I’m not Martin. Things may have started out spicy after our little rendezvous on the yacht, but I was never lying when I said I wanted you or your company. That was very real”. Quinn can’t help but feel stunned by what she’s hearing. Joaquin continues. “I found myself taking every opportunity to see you. I snuck into Martin’s meetings to get information. I even listened through the door sometimes. I did anything I could think of to get things to report. I made sure to plan special things so I could impress you in the meantime. My feelings for you are genuine, they always have been”. Quinn can’t hide her expression as she listens to him confess his feelings. She wanted to avoid looking at Joaquin in any serious light originally, but it was no use. She hasn’t been able to stop thinking about him.   “My feelings have been real for you too. I told myself though that you’d probably want nothing more outside of a fling. You didn’t strike me as a relationship type of person”. “Then you misjudged me. I may be a flirt. I may be extremely charismatic, but I’ve never wanted to impress or prove myself to anyone like I have with you”. Joaquin looks down for a second, overwhelmed, not used to being so straightforward about his feelings. Quinn takes her finger, lifting his chin up to meet her gaze. “You’re enough, Joaquin. You’ve never needed to impress me. There’s no doubting the chemistry between us.”. He holds her gaze as she continues. “I know I wasn’t the most trusting after everything I went through with McGraw Byrne, but that didn’t stop me from being drawn to you and enjoying every experience we’ve shared. My feelings for you are genuine too”. Joaquin takes her in for a moment. No one has stripped him of his confident exterior this way, but he’s happy to be here in this moment. Although this was uncharted territory, he wanted to travel down this road if it meant he got to do it beside Quinn. The energy becomes heavy, and he leans forward to seal their confessions with a kiss, almost to confirm that this is really happening. As Joaquin walks over to her, circling her desk, Quinn wraps her arms around his neck in response, pulling him close. She hums into the kiss, the chemistry between them surging. They let their once hidden feelings run free. After a few blissful minutes, Quinn breaks the kiss, taking Joaquin’s face in her hands. “I still owe you the rest of that thank you for helping me get one over on Martin. I was thinking maybe I could plan the date this time?”.

 “Whatever you want, little rabbit, I’m happy anywhere as long as I’m with you”. 

Quinn smirks at hearing that nickname again, laughing at the memory of seeing Joaquin stroll into the firm with Martin’s rabbit foot. She knows right away where she wants to take him on their date.  

“I want to show you one of my favorite spots in the city”. Joaquin leans in to place a thankful kiss on her lips.

“I’m looking forward to it”.

The next day, Quinn texts Joaquin to meet her in the park after work. She holds a picnic basket filled with food she made just for him. He shows up right on the dot, walking forward, and greeting her with a kiss. “Where are we off to?”. He asks. “I can’t wait to show you…” she says. Quinn takes his hand in hers, guiding them away from the crowd. They hike into a secluded area behind the trees. No one would think to look back there normally with all the foliage, but the spot Quinn leads him to is perfect. It provides a gorgeous view of the water. Natural plants are sprouting everywhere. It’s clear why she likes this place so much, it’s quite calming. Quinn lays down a couple of soft blankets on the ground, placing the picnic basket on top. After they sit, Joaquin wraps his arms around her waist while they take in the scenery. They enjoy this rare and quiet view of New York. “I can understand why you like it here. Not many places in the city allow you to have an unobstructed view of everything. Normally people are piling on top of you”. Quinn laughs to herself, taking out some food and drinks for them to enjoy. “I found this place after I moved here. Like you, I packed up my whole life to move to New York to be a lawyer for McGraw Byrne. I like to come here when I need time to think, relax, or go over a case. I’ve never brought anybody here before. It’s kind of my secret spot”. Joaquin looks at her meaningfully, feeling honored that she trusts him enough to take him here. “I appreciate you sharing this with me”. She smiles to herself, letting her hand drift over to his and holding it. The gesture is such a small show of intimacy, and yet Joaquin can feel his heart beating faster at the gentleness of her touch. “I made us some food. I brought wine and some water too in case you didn’t want to drink”. “You can cook too? Is there anything you can’t do, Quinn Michaels?”. She laughs, taking out some plates for them both and putting sandwiches, fruit, and her homemade cake on the side. Joaquin thanks her, taking a strawberry and moving it towards her lips. She softly takes a bite, the juices running down her chin. They both giggle while Joaquin wipes it off with a napkin. He gives her a sweet peck on the lips while they laugh again. After finishing off the bite she leans in to kiss him for real. Joaquin wraps his arms around her back. She climbs into his lap, straddling him, while they both deepen the kiss. Quinn runs her hands through his hair as he holds her close. They break the kiss a few minutes later, panting and grinning at each other. Quinn turns around, laying in Joaquin’s lap while they enjoy their food, joking and chatting. Afterward, they cuddle up to watch the sunset, enjoying the feeling of each other’s company. They talk about the near and distant future. They agree that they’ll tell Gabe and Aislinn they’re together, after they enjoy a few more days of sneaking around, just for the thrill of it. After most of the food is finished, Quinn packs up the picnic basket with Joaquin, neither of them wanting the day to end. She looks at him knowingly. “Do you want to come back to my place? It’s not far, and it’s probably safer than you walking home by yourself”. He looks at her mischievously, a wolfish smirk spreading across his face. “Is that what you really mean or are you trying to lure me back into your apartment for a nightcap? Either way, I won’t say no”. Quinn shakes her head, taking his hand in hers while they leisurely stroll back to her place together.

Quinn unlocks the door, telling Joaquin to make himself at home while she takes the basket to the kitchen. Joaquin sits on the couch, not taking his eyes off her. She turns around, feeling his gaze, and her cheeks redden. She’s used to being as confident as he is, but Joaquin has the power to make her weak in the knees with just a look or a touch. She walks back over to him, his arms already outstretched, their lips meeting in a passionate kiss. Hardly keeping their hands off each other, Quinn pulls him by the shirt into her room, closing the door. He pushes her up against it, biting down on her lip playfully. Ripping off each other’s clothes they stumble onto the bed half dressed. Joaquin rolls himself on top of her, kissing down Quinn’s neck until he makes her moan out. While he kisses back up her skin, he whispers into her ear. “What do you need Quinn? Tell me, and it’s yours”. She shivers at the soft sound of his voice, his breath on her ear causing goosebumps to crawl up her skin. She caresses his arm, her mind racing with thoughts and possibilities, but all she can get out is that she wants him. Joaquin understands though, and he leans in to kiss her again, wrapping his arms around her back. They grind against each other, kissing fervently. Joaquin pushes the rest of her clothes off her legs, and his right after. He holds her close to him, their chests pressed up against each other while their hands grip the other's body, their passion raging. Quinn feels Joaquin’s strong arms holding her close, almost as if he’s afraid she’ll fly away or disappear. They lose themselves in each other, savoring every moment, knowing that after all this time, they finally found their match.

Ending 2- A Bright Future Ahead:

After their big win against McGraw Byrne and Martin, the Ricci & Associates team is celebrating at the Brass Monkey. Everyone is congratulating Quinn on a job well done taking down Calvin Colby. After all the commotion, Quinn heads to the bar where she finds Joaquin alone. Earlier, Gabe and he were talking seriously. She assumed it was about the job he wanted. Seeing the grin on his face as she approaches him, Quinn can tell the conversation went well. Joaquin happily reports the good news of his job offer to be a corporate law expert for the firm. Quinn responds excitedly for him, happy to have another thing to celebrate tonight. Joaquin finishes off his drink, getting up from the bar. Quinn looks over at him curiously, wondering where he’s going. He tells her that tonight isn’t about him, but he can’t wait to see her on Monday when he can steal all her attention.

She watches his back as he walks out of the door, surprised at the disappointment that overcomes her. She sits down on the bar stool where he was, holding her drink. She starts thinking about all the recent events that have happened between her and Joaquin. He’s had a mysterious yet captivating energy since the day they met. His witty banter always keeps her on her toes. She wanted to be annoyed at his confident charms, but she couldn’t, at least not fully. He slowly but surely gained her trust, proving that he was always on her side from the beginning, despite how oddly their relationship started.

She couldn’t let him leave like this. There was too much left unsaid. Quinn made her rounds saying a quick goodbye to Gabe, Aislinn, Beau, Gigi, and the team. She headed out the door, hoping that Joaquin didn’t get too far yet. She power walked down the New York City streets, looking in every direction for him. Suddenly she sees Joaquin amongst the crowd, a few steps ahead. Yelling out his name she raises her hand hoping he’ll see her, pushing through the people blocking the way. He turns around at the sound of her voice, confusion plastered on his face. “Quinn?!”. After a few moments of dodging people, she steps in front of him. Joaquin looks taken by the sight of her. A part of him is selfishly happy to have her here. Another part feels guilty that she isn’t with her colleagues and friends. “What are you doing here? Why aren’t you at the Brass Monkey?” Huffing and puffing from her quick movements, she looks up at him. “I couldn’t let you leave. You deserve to be there too. Your help was invaluable on that case, Joaquin”. He shakes his head, a slight blush coming onto his cheeks from her praise. “Tonight, it isn’t about me, Quinn. You would have won that case regardless of my help. I want you to enjoy the night”. She takes his hand into hers, holding his gaze with a serious expression. Joaquin gives her a surprised reaction, almost gasping at her touch. “I don’t want to celebrate without you”. Joaquin stands conflicted and yet elated. He wants so badly to take her into his arms and kiss her right then and there, in front of all these people. But he can’t. He refuses to take away the night she deserves after her success. “Look, I didn’t want the attention to be on me or my promotion. You deserve the spotlight tonight. You did amazing, Quinn. You are amazing”. She looks at him earnestly, realizing what he’s saying. That he only left because he didn’t want to dull her shine. The realization hits her like a ton of bricks. Despite his façade, he has a caring side that she’s slowly seeing the more they spend time together. He has a soft spot, and it’s for her. “You got the job you’ve been waiting for, but you were worried about me?”. He nods, placing his hand on her cheek and looking deeply into her eyes. “I’m always on your side, Quinn. Go have fun. I’ll see you on Monday”.

Joaquin starts to walk off again, but Quinn grabs his arm, stopping him. “If it’s my celebration then I should get to choose who I celebrate with. I want that to be you”. He stares at her, stunned momentarily, but shakes it off, hoping she doesn’t notice. He walks over to her again, placing his hands on her shoulders. “You’re sure about that?”. She nods, reassuring him that she’s serious. Joaquin looks down for a second and grins. He’s happy that after everything he’s tried to do to show her how much he cares, how much she can trust him, she’s starting to see it. Even if she just wants him around as a friend, he’s pleased. “Okay, if you say so. I know a great hidden gem we can go to for dinner if you’re interested”. “Are we going back to your favorite sushi restaurant again? I loved it there”. He takes her hand in his, strolling down the sidewalk while swinging their arms together. “No, it’s a great little Italian place just up ahead. Wait until you try the food. It’s exquisite, and thankfully, it’s never packed”. They walk a few more minutes down the sidewalk and get to a small unassuming Italian bistro. The decorations are vintage, clearly dated, but charming. A short older woman who must be in her 70s greets them both with a huge smile. Her Italian accent is thick as she talks. “Joaquin! It’s so good to see you again. And you brought a beautiful young lady with you! I knew you would find someone, you’re such a charmer, and very handsome too!”. She goes in to give Quinn kisses on the cheek and a strong hug, then Joaquin. Her personality is bright and loving like a classic storybook grandmother. She places herself in the middle of them, taking both of their hands and leading them to the tables. “Please, come, take a seat. I’ll go grab Lorenzo to take your orders”. She walks away happily, handing out menus before walking into the kitchen. Italian music starts playing overhead, and a romantic vibe starts to fill the small restaurant. Quinn looks over the top of her menu at Joaquin. “Wow, that was some greeting. Do you eat here often?”. Joaquin laughs to himself. “I’ve only been here a couple of times. Nonna Rossi thinks everyone is a distant relative after she meets them. This is a family-owned business, and they try to make all their patrons feel like they’re an honorary Rossi”. A tall brunette waiter comes out from the kitchen, introducing himself as Lorenzo Rossi. Joaquin offers to order, asking for a bottle of red wine for the table, water, appetizers, and a Tour of Italy platter for them to share. He tells him he wants Quinn to taste a little bit of everything. After thanking Lorenzo, they talk comfortably in an intimate atmosphere. As Nonna Rossi and Lorenzo bring out each item of food, Quinn realizes that everything tastes just as good as Joaquin described. Finally, the main course arrives. It smells amazing. The portion sizes are like a small tower on the plate where there’s pasta with homemade red sauce, chicken parmigiana, and Nonna’s signature meatballs. As they start to dig in Quinn asks what’s been on her mind since they arrived. “How do you find these restaurants tucked away in a big city like this?” she wonders. Joaquin takes a swig of his wine, taking her hand in his. “If you keep your mind open to all possibilities, you’ll always be surprised at what you can find”. Quinn smiles at him, gripping his hand a little tighter in agreement. They finish up their dinner, say goodbye and thank you to the staff, and hold hands as they walk slowly down the sidewalk. Neither of them wants the night to end as they look up at the stars. Almost instinctually Quinn turns to him. “Do you…want to come back to my place? It’s still early. I have a balcony with a great view of the city skyline”. Joaquin grins, his mind trying to think of something witty to say back. He’s thrilled that Quinn doesn’t want the night to be over either. “You don’t have to tempt me, Quinn. I’d go anywhere you asked, but especially your place”. He winks and she shakes her head, slightly blushing. They make it back to her apartment a few minutes later.

The tension is thick between them as Quinn makes her way to the closet, taking out blankets and placing them outside on her balcony’s loveseat. She grabs some drinks while Joaquin goes outside to sit, his gaze never leaving her. She walks outside and sits next to him, pouring them a drink as they clink their glasses together. After a generous sip, Joaquin wraps his arm around Quinn, grabbing a blanket with his other hand and covering them both up. There’s a slight chill in the air, but the weather is perfect for being outdoors. Quinn rests her head on Joaquin’s shoulder while he rubs her arm, placing a kiss on her forehead. The atmosphere is so calm that he knows this is the perfect time to say what’s been on his mind. He doesn’t know how Quinn will react to his feelings, so he tries to lead with his usual flirty tone. “Now that we’re going to be coworkers, we’ll get to see each other much more often. We can get into all kinds of trouble”. Quinn laughs, lifting her head from his sweater and looking at him, taking in his chiseled features. “You have the job now, Joaquin, you don’t have to try and butter me up anymore”. He laughs in response.“Is that what you thought that was? Buttering you up so I’d get the job? I told you, Quinn, I didn’t want to buy my way into Ricci & Associates. I had every intention of showing you that I was qualified for the role, but most importantly, that you could trust me inside and outside of the courtroom”. “Was gaining my trust that important to you?”.   Joaquin silently sighs to himself, feeling vulnerable and put on the spot. It’s been a long time since he’s had to speak without his confident and smooth façade doing most of the talking for him. “Of course, it was. I’ve had to woo a lot of people for work, but it’s been a while since I truly cared about what they thought of me as a person, and not just as a lawyer”. Quinn is taken aback by his confession, realizing her doubts were wrong all along. All his efforts, his attentiveness, it did mean more than just trying to get a job offer. She had hoped it did, but she never wanted to get too attached to the idea that he might have true feelings for her. Joaquin continues to speak, barring his heart to her and bringing her out of her trance. “I have nothing to gain right now and yet here I am. I got the job. That insufferable ass Martin is going to get what’s been coming to him. So is Calvin Colby. I care about you, Quinn Michaels. I’ve been intrigued by you since I started seeing that yes, you’re an intelligent knockout who can take anyone down. But you’re an incredible person too. Once I realized how I felt, I made sure I went out of my way to get information for you. Any excuse to see you, I took”. Quinn searches his eyes, seeing that there is no deception, no ulterior motives that she can detect. He looks back at her seriously, his hand wiping a stray piece of hair from her face as it blows in the wind. He leans in closer, placing a kiss on her cheek, his voice almost a whisper. “This is so much more than a fling to me, Quinn. If that’s all you want it to be, I understand. If you want us to be nothing but coworkers, I’ll respect that too. Just know I want so much more and I’m willing to give it to you. Just say the word and it’s yours. I’m yours”. The energy becomes intense as they stare at each other. No matter the walls that Quinn had from the beginning, she knows that Joaquin has been the only one on her mind. Every time he’d pop up, her heart would skip a beat. She looked forward to every moment they shared, despite searching for every reason to push him away. She truly tried, but she never found a reason to. Joaquin’s been supporting her from the beginning. She takes his hands in hers, rubbing her thumb against his skin while trying to find the right words to say. “I want you too, Joaquin. In every way. I may have doubted you, but I was wrong. You’ve had my back in secret for so long. When I look at you, all I can think is that I’ve finally met my match. The one that can keep up with me. The one that can keep me on my toes. It’s you. It’s always going to be you”. Joaquin breaks out in a grin, wrapping his arms around Quinn and knocking them both over onto the loveseat. He looks down at her, examining every inch of her underneath his body. The reality that she feels the same way about him almost feels too good to be true. He descends, capturing her lips in his. Quinn wraps her arms around his neck, their lips meeting in a desperate, passionate kiss, trying to convey to each other how hard they’ve fallen for one another.

Quinn breaks the kiss, inviting him in so the neighbors don’t catch them making out on the balcony. Joaquin makes a snarky joke about giving everyone a show. She grabs his arm and drags him inside. She places her hands on the top of his sweater after locking the balcony door, pulling him close as they stumble into the bedroom. Joaquin wraps his arms around her waist, kissing her deeply. Quinn breaks the kiss for a moment as she shuts the bedroom door, Joaquin heading to sit on the bed. She walks over and they wrap their arms around each other again, their hands roaming each other’s bodies like they can’t believe the other is real. Joaquin breaks the heavy kiss, both gasping for breath. He places his hand on her cheek, gazing at her like she’s the only person in the world. He whispers softly into her ear. “I want to do whatever it takes to make you feel good tonight, Quinn. We have a lot to celebrate”. She grins back, caressing his hair as she remembers her earlier promise to him after he helped her play a trick on Martin.

“And I have a thank you I still need to make good on”. He laughs, kissing her affectionately before responding. “That you do. I guess we’ll need to compromise. Though knowing I brought you any sort of pleasure and comfort is enough to make me happy”. Quinn places her hands on his chest, pushing him down onto the bed and kissing from his ear to his neck. She lifts his sweater off of his body while kissing across his chest. Joaquin lets out a soft moan, his hands tangling in her hair. “The only thing I want tonight is you, Joaquin. The rest is just a bonus”. He sits up, smiling lovingly at her. “You have me. I’m not going anywhere”. She pushes him down onto the covers, his head hitting the pillows while she sarcastically says, “You’ve proven that”. Joaquin laughs back, grabbing Quinn, turning her over, and kissing her intensely. They slowly finish undressing. The heat in the room blazing as they explore each other’s bodies. Joaquin holds onto Quinn tightly, making sure he never misses an inch of her as he plants teasing kisses all over her skin. The feeling in the room is more intimate now that they’ve finally admitted the truth about their feelings. The night winds down and they hold each other close, Joaquin kissing Quinn’s forehead and then speaking softly. 

“What do we tell the others at work?” Quinn runs her hand down his chest. Joaquin softly shivers, taking her hand in his, and kissing her knuckles.

*MC dies in a game with ships* Aislinn: This ship is no longer a ship of love, it's a ship of vengeance, a gavel of justice against all that is wrong in the world, showing no mercy, as no mercy was shown to us. Aislinn: The spark of love will now fuel the fires of destructive glory as I wage my war across the world with righteous fury. Gabe: Legend has it that MC still haunts the ship, stealing my fucking drinks. MC: Of course I do.

--------------------------------

MC: That shirt looks great, Joaquin. Joaquin: Thanks. MC: But I bet it would look even better on Gabe's floor. Gabe: Are you hitting on Joaquin... for me?

--------------------------------

Joaquin: What are you writing? MC: The government wants to know what kind of weapons we have in the house. I'm letting them know it's private information. Aislinn, looking over MC's shoulder: This just says 'fuck around and find out' in calligraphy.

---------------------------------

Gabe: I love you. MC, not paying attention: What was that? Gabe: I said I’m selling you to the zOo-

----------------------------------

Gigi, watching Gabe & Beau panic : What's going on? MC: Gabe is having a midlife crisis and Beau is just having a crisis.

-----------------------------------

MC: Did Aislinn just tell me she loved me for the first time? Gigi: Yeah, she did. MC: And did I just do finger guns back? Gigi: Yeah, you did.

------------------------------------

Aislinn, looking through their clothes: Has anyone seen my top? Joaquin: MC's in the kitchen.

-------------------------------------

MC: My aesthetic is "would be suspected of witchcraft by small town citizens."

--------------------------------------

Martin: We’re all in this together. If one of us falls, we all fall. Nobody is expendable on this team. Aislinn: Sounds fake but ok.

--------------------------------------

Hairdresser: How would you like your hair cut? Beau: Preferably with scissors, but a sword could be badass.

---------------------------------------