#lll stuff

that entire video was disgusting. so many of the things that have been done to peter in this series have been gross. so much of what’s being given to us is hurtful and disappointing and i was so excited for this before i had it but now it’s here and i can’t even watch it without getting upset and that isn’t right.

i understand that certain things need to happen for the sake of the narrative but when you have one character specifically pointing out that “all of us are so single... except ben” and NO ONE IS CALLING BULLSHIT ON THAT???? no one is even bothered by the fact that the lone (confirmed) heterosexual is allowed to be in a relationship while a gay man, a bisexual man, and a woman are restricted and not allowed to do these things???

and then. and then even AFTER this is ACTUALLY POINTED OUT. the cishet white man is still in control of those people. he is doling out punishments and dictating parts of their lives he has no business in and he is doing it all WHILE BREAKING THE RULES HIMSELF “i am the only person who has not broken a single rule” like what the fuck kind of bullshit is that??? what the fuck. no. you are breaking a rule, you are ruining the happiness of your “best friends,” and you have the fucking AUDACITY to act like it’s hurtful to YOU and i

i’m not doing this.

Aw thank you Daisy that means a lot <3<3

AREN’T THEY i’m in love

–

The best part about being in Doctor Faustus was the way Peter could slip away from the things that were bothering him.

The worst part about being in Doctor Faustus was that it was quickly becoming one of the things that was bothering him.

That wasn’t anyone’s fault but his own, of course. If he could just keep himself under control, everything would be just fine. Fine. As it was, whenever he and Costa had to rehearse their more… intimate scenes, he couldn’t stop thinking about how much better it would be if it were real.

He’d think about Costa kissing him, rather than Mephistopheles and Faustus. He’d think about being in Costa’s bedroom, not on some makeshift stage. He’d think about them, speaking honestly to one another, in the way they had to pretend to do.

And then he’d forget his lines, or nearly say “Costa” when he should be saying some other name, or - even worse - have to call quickly for a break so he could run to the bathroom and splash himself with cold water.

It was humiliating, and if not for Costa’s single-minded intense focus on the play itself, Peter would have been found out a long time ago. As it was, he mostly got shakes of the head and disapproving noises thrown at his retreating back. As it was, he spent every day wondering for the curtain to fall from Costa’s eyes.

When he walked in to find Costa holding a pair of handcuffs, he almost believed it had.

“What - I’m sorry, what the fuck are those for?”

Costa clicked his tongue. “To improve our chemistry, my dear Faustus! You and I have been unequivocally subpar in our performances these past weeks, and I intend to remedy that.”

Peter could feel his cheeks turning red, the eyes of his cast members on the back of his neck. He ran a hand through his hair, avoiding eye contact. “Can’t we do, I don’t know, anything else? Improv games or something?”

“Absolutely not,” Costa retorted. “Let the punishment fit the crime, I say!”

Peter handed off his coffee to Jaquie, who was watching the entire exchange with raised eyebrows and a barely-contained smirk. He held out both of his hands.

“I’m all yours, director.”

–

To be fair, Peter had known prior to agreeing to this venture that Costa was a fairly excitable person, prone to waving his hands about wildly and making other sorts of grand gestures. He may not have expected the repercussions of it, but after a few slaps to Peter’s face, Costa seemed to recognize his limitations and tone himself down a little bit.

Peter just stood there and let it happen, for the most part, although he drew the line at synchronized bathroom runs.

“No, no, no, I can do that myself, thanks,” He insisted, twisting at the cuff around his wrist. “Come on, Costa, be reasonable.”

“I am!” his companion insisted, throwing his hands up. Peter’s own hand came round to smack his nose. “Sorry.”

“No. I’m doing this myself. Give me the damn key.”

“It would be more efficient for us to go at the same time, Peter; best not to waste rehearsal time either in the execution or the discussion of the act.” And so Costa continued, dragging his prize to the bathroom behind him.

Jaquie laughed a lot. Peter didn’t.

–

It was the end of the day. Peter was still firmly attached to his partner, although perhaps not in the way he wanted to be. The cast and crew had finally left, but Costa had apparently lost the key and was left to dig through his bag for it long after everyone had gone. By nature of the situation, Peter was stuck with him.

And then.

Costa dropped his bag and, cursing, leaned to pick it up. The necklace chain slipped out from where it was hidden beneath his shirt, the little key on the end catching the light of the lamps lit around them.

“Costa,” Peter said.

And Costa looked from him to the key, back to him. He grinned and shrugged. “You don’t think I was really trying to fix our chemistry, do you?”

–