#ljn.

my shows pick up tomorrow, as payback for breaking my contract. 5 shows a week and i’m surrounded by loads of people and can’t get out of it. i’m glad doyoung and taeyong know, yeah -- but i really can’t look at the rest of this dorm properly if they find out what’s happening. this is where i should’ve just stuck to what i was doing with gahyeon. she wouldn’t be in the situation she’s in, and i could’ve just continued on with what i was doing. things would’ve been far better than this.

i fucked up with gahyeon today. i’m trying to work around the fact that we didn’t know each other, and it’s just forcing all this stress on her. my contract runs out soon, and i had to tell her. she snapped and it just turned into a huge fucking argument and i hate that it did. because she’s nice and i really don’t fucking know how to make up for 19 years of not knowing each other

and for some reason? i’m flirting with jeno? or trying to at least?

and this????? is happening i guess