can i PLEASE ask about the lizards with swords
alright so. see. in ninth grade i got a lizard (leopard gecko. heās my sweet darling angel boy and i love him So Much). that year was also generally Wild because there was a lot happening, including but not limited to my father being a jerk about some things*. so my little lizard buddy helped me A Lot through it (which is where the Importance to me comes in. i promise the rest isnāt as serious)
another thing to remember is that i really like swords. and lizards. and lizords (lizards with swords).
so, anyways. itās my friend (from elementary school)ās birthday.
(actually, i think i had joked about it over a misspelling before. but this is when it Really Started)
and i get my (long-suffering, ever-patient) leopard gecko out of his tank and hold him, beforeā
i have this idea. my momās not in the house, so i think, why not? might as well. itās just a single toothpick.
except that when she comes in, i end up telling her anyways.
so then, a couple days later, my brother gives me a little lego sword. i know what he means, because this is something weāve both talked about.
i give him a little lego sword.
which, okay, thatās all fine and dandy, until itās our winter break, right? i get bored (the night before i have to wake up early to go to my cousinās house in texas) and end up painting this.
because, yāknow, i have no impulse control ever in my life and iām bored. (also, on the collar it says āgive lizards swordsā. the ālizordsā is a combination of lizards and swords. the red and black on the sleeve will be explained Soon)
and then we come back home, and my (sweet, loving, always patient, ever long suffering) leopard gecko is about as excited as a little leopard gecko can be. i give him a noble steed for his troubles.
okay, so thatās also fine.
and then my biology teacher gives me a snake. now, in theory, iād be all for giving him a sword (an idea which has now become a long running not-quite-joke in my family and among my friends), except that 1.) heās too baby and 2.) we donāt have any that are big enough (we did eventually find some, iāll post them at the end). however, he does really like curling around my arm.
so he gets his own shout-out on the lizord jacket. which, okay, thatās also okay, thatās even more than okay. but then i get another bearded dragon (he was really sick and didnāt make it, unfortunately)
and he is also āknightedā (by order of The Parent, jerkfaceās brigade, #003)
and, well, iām going to be going to a friendās house for a birthday party, and one of the things weāre going to be doing is painting jean jackets. i realise that the lizords one needs,,, an update.
weāve upgraded to āharpetilesā (herptiles with harpe swords [any sword is still okay to use though]) and ārapiertilesā (reptiles with rapiers [as stated before, any sword works]).
and, well, as stated before, he was sick when we got him. so after he passed, we went to the reptile convention, and i got an ax-olotl (axolotls with axes. unfortunately, i couldnāt ever get it to stand up in his tank, so i donāt have any pictures of him with it) and another bearded dragon.
both were quickly knighted (by order of The Parent, jerkfaceās brigade, #004 and #006 respectively. iāve purposely left out #005 because he was also sick. but yes, he was knighted as well)
and itās Still A Thing. iāve jokingly put it into,,, a lot of my writing, because yes. lizards need swords. give all the herptiles any weaponry you can find. i wrote a whole speech about it for english.
(also, iāve almost hit the image limit, so iāll rb with pictures of the snake and the second bearded dragon with their swords. and cinnamonstick has also been knighted, heās had swordsāi just canāt find the pictures right now)