#livelovestaylit

Let's rewind to earlier last week. I found myself in a meeting discussing a flaw I discovered in an email template. The solution was rather simple and know that I had experience with similar issues when developing emails in the past. I raised the matter and discussed the possible solutions win a weekly team meeting. Queue creepy music as in this moment I have entered the corporate twilight zone. My colleague, lets call him Dwight, retorts that he does not see the same error on his device. I then demonstrate on his device where the error would appear. There is silence for but a moment as everyone in the room looks to verify if the issue exists.

I continue to discuss the solution to the issue, and I am awkwardly interrupted by Dwight who then throws on a cape and declares he has found the cause to the issue I addressed. Only this time he repeats my words reintroducing the issue, in octave lower than I had 4 minutes and 27 seconds ago. Oh I would also like to note Dwight has a mustache, and everything sounds more reassuring coming out of mouths with mustaches. It is at this moment my supervisor realizes there is an issue with the email templates. We will call my supervisor Pam.

Now there are a few times I find myself searching for the right words to say, but very rarely does that call for anyone to speak for me. Give me a moment to read the room, understand my audience and redirect the statement and typically any momentary lapse of word loss is recovered, at times more gracefully than others but nonetheless recovered. This was not one of those occasions. At no time have I ever needed anyone to interpret my words in an office as all the places I’ve been employed have primarily American English speakers. My oratory skills have been tested plenty over the years, but there is nothing like watching your weekly meeting become a living meme. 

It was all to apparent at this time that Pam really  only had started to take the matter into consideration once Dwight repeated my previous statement. This brought me to the realization that “mansplaining” is not an issue that is solely the rests with the men. Women in the workplace are just as responsible and in this case also part of the problem. Thankfully I was able to identify this paradox while it was in progress and recovered the room. I threw some bass in my voice and responded to this moment accordingly. I may not have a mustache but I do have a backbone and a bold presence. I reiterated the issue and got my supervisor’s full attention to put in a ticket so that the issue may be resolved. Resolved however was not a word Dwight was ready to hear.

Later in week on Friday afternoon I was working from home. Dwight drew up an email to the team working on the email bug. He went back his initial theory that the issue was simply and error on my device and nothing could be done. He had not been aware to the fact that this was a more universal issue that I had already tested. Fortunately for me and unfortunately for him, his email was poorly written and he pressed send before actually finishing the full thought. I responded in kind that the issue existed in other areas and should be aired out by the team regardless of device. I then dismissed him from the conversation and thanked the other ladies who were working on the issue.

A few hours later the development team contacted us with news that the bug had been addressed and we should no longer have those issues in the template. Dwight and his mustache were silent finally. Pam was surprised by the outcome but thanked me for the find. I doubt she realized her part in this scenario, so I’m sure it is bound to occur again. I will have to be sure to speak with the confidence and boldness to define that the words that I speak are words of purpose. 

Sharing. No name calling. Making sure everyone gets a turn. Somewhere between college graduation and your morning commute you might recognize how other people have forgotten the sandbox rules. It is as if these guidelines never applied to them. These were the basics which gradually transformed into what should be common courtesy in the workplace. In time you will find yourself being instructed to collaborate with these individuals who forgot their shovel at home and now demand claim on part of your freshly built castle. No one is saying it’s fair, but work still needs to be finished. With that being said, be sure to draw the line in the sand where “playing nice” and cordial co-worker begins and ends.

Sharing is not for everyone

Do not allow your work or your tools to be used and abuse by others who do not know how to care for them. Sharing your talents or knowledge are equally as valuable as your tools. If you lend someone your bucket, and they return it to you with a crack why would you continue to share with them? Take care to do the same with those whom you collaborate with. Your time and skills are used to build projects and relationships. If these are not cared for when shared with others, then your playmate should go get their own.

Everyone Can’t Be Your Playmate, and That’s Ok

You may find yourself in a sandbox with too much sand and not enough shovels. Being selective about who we work best with is apart of life, but is not usually a choice in the workplace. Its never fun finding yourself paired along side the individual who often forget his/her shovel or pail. But I have found its more how you engage with those individuals that shapes their impact on your experience with them, than their presence, generally. You have options in managing your interactions.

Weigh the variables and dig on:

1. If they are willing to learn and will use the information teach them how to build the castle properly. Remember to share with care.

2. Delegate a different task to them that will still increase productivity, while not affecting your momentum. Some people are be off filling the moat than building the castle.

3. Direct them to someone else in the sandbox. You are not digging alone, there are others with tools, so share the load.

Building strong team morale and culture is the responsibility of everyone on your team. In a perfect world everyone would work together seamlessly. But this is not the case. Maintaining a business social interaction rather than one of friendship is simply the best way to maneuver if you intend to shovel along side those individuals. Realizing you need not befriend everyone in the sandbox is a mature and realistic view of another day in the workplace.

Life’s a Beach