JustBeingMel

Let's rewind to earlier last week. I found myself in a meeting discussing a flaw I discovered in an email template. The solution was rather simple and know that I had experience with similar issues when developing emails in the past. I raised the matter and discussed the possible solutions win a weekly team meeting. Queue creepy music as in this moment I have entered the corporate twilight zone. My colleague, lets call him Dwight, retorts that he does not see the same error on his device. I then demonstrate on his device where the error would appear. There is silence for but a moment as everyone in the room looks to verify if the issue exists.

I continue to discuss the solution to the issue, and I am awkwardly interrupted by Dwight who then throws on a cape and declares he has found the cause to the issue I addressed. Only this time he repeats my words reintroducing the issue, in octave lower than I had 4 minutes and 27 seconds ago. Oh I would also like to note Dwight has a mustache, and everything sounds more reassuring coming out of mouths with mustaches. It is at this moment my supervisor realizes there is an issue with the email templates. We will call my supervisor Pam.

Now there are a few times I find myself searching for the right words to say, but very rarely does that call for anyone to speak for me. Give me a moment to read the room, understand my audience and redirect the statement and typically any momentary lapse of word loss is recovered, at times more gracefully than others but nonetheless recovered. This was not one of those occasions. At no time have I ever needed anyone to interpret my words in an office as all the places I’ve been employed have primarily American English speakers. My oratory skills have been tested plenty over the years, but there is nothing like watching your weekly meeting become a living meme. 

It was all to apparent at this time that Pam really  only had started to take the matter into consideration once Dwight repeated my previous statement. This brought me to the realization that “mansplaining” is not an issue that is solely the rests with the men. Women in the workplace are just as responsible and in this case also part of the problem. Thankfully I was able to identify this paradox while it was in progress and recovered the room. I threw some bass in my voice and responded to this moment accordingly. I may not have a mustache but I do have a backbone and a bold presence. I reiterated the issue and got my supervisor’s full attention to put in a ticket so that the issue may be resolved. Resolved however was not a word Dwight was ready to hear.

Later in week on Friday afternoon I was working from home. Dwight drew up an email to the team working on the email bug. He went back his initial theory that the issue was simply and error on my device and nothing could be done. He had not been aware to the fact that this was a more universal issue that I had already tested. Fortunately for me and unfortunately for him, his email was poorly written and he pressed send before actually finishing the full thought. I responded in kind that the issue existed in other areas and should be aired out by the team regardless of device. I then dismissed him from the conversation and thanked the other ladies who were working on the issue.

A few hours later the development team contacted us with news that the bug had been addressed and we should no longer have those issues in the template. Dwight and his mustache were silent finally. Pam was surprised by the outcome but thanked me for the find. I doubt she realized her part in this scenario, so I’m sure it is bound to occur again. I will have to be sure to speak with the confidence and boldness to define that the words that I speak are words of purpose. 

I spent time today sketching with a group of artists in Fort Myers. I joined this group back in November to surround myself with like-minded individuals and get myself re-acclimated to drawing on a more regular basis. Today while engaged in one of our sketch sessions I was reminded of a lesson from grade school that I was able to put to use.

I began sketching a hut peaking out from a large cluster of saw palmetto plants. I did not realize how ambitious of a task it was to get this all on paper with in 2 hours. By this time it was a bit too late, I was 1/3 into the sketch and had yet barely made headway with the daunting foliage. I considered making a few quick scribbles and moving somewhere else. Mid-swiggle I thought back to a statement made by a teacher, “Every confident artist should draw lines that are strong and committed to the page. Your lines should not be wispy and choppy. You need to learn to trust what you and putting down and make every line and stroke count.”

With this sudden artistic conviction I stayed put, and made note to draw each tediously burst of leaves compassing the hut. I did not haphazardly throw lines to the page in hopes they would look like some sort of vegetation. As I sat back to look at the final product of my two-hour session I can say the lines laid to that page were committed to it confidently.

That being said this lesson can honestly but put to use by any creative. Commit to the lines that you draw. Commit to the limits you set for your timelines. Commit to the goals you set for your growth. Commit to anything you put your name on. Confidence in the work you do will always be evidence if you do things with proper intention and discipline instead of aiming to simply get the task “done”. There needs to be purpose behind the practice. This goes for all creatives alike, and can be utilized for young professionals across the board.

You can check out the final sketch here:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BedpnIaHl5a/?hl=en

Sharing. No name calling. Making sure everyone gets a turn. Somewhere between college graduation and your morning commute you might recognize how other people have forgotten the sandbox rules. It is as if these guidelines never applied to them. These were the basics which gradually transformed into what should be common courtesy in the workplace. In time you will find yourself being instructed to collaborate with these individuals who forgot their shovel at home and now demand claim on part of your freshly built castle. No one is saying it’s fair, but work still needs to be finished. With that being said, be sure to draw the line in the sand where “playing nice” and cordial co-worker begins and ends.

Sharing is not for everyone

Do not allow your work or your tools to be used and abuse by others who do not know how to care for them. Sharing your talents or knowledge are equally as valuable as your tools. If you lend someone your bucket, and they return it to you with a crack why would you continue to share with them? Take care to do the same with those whom you collaborate with. Your time and skills are used to build projects and relationships. If these are not cared for when shared with others, then your playmate should go get their own.

Everyone Can’t Be Your Playmate, and That’s Ok

You may find yourself in a sandbox with too much sand and not enough shovels. Being selective about who we work best with is apart of life, but is not usually a choice in the workplace. Its never fun finding yourself paired along side the individual who often forget his/her shovel or pail. But I have found its more how you engage with those individuals that shapes their impact on your experience with them, than their presence, generally. You have options in managing your interactions.

Weigh the variables and dig on:

1. If they are willing to learn and will use the information teach them how to build the castle properly. Remember to share with care.

2. Delegate a different task to them that will still increase productivity, while not affecting your momentum. Some people are be off filling the moat than building the castle.

3. Direct them to someone else in the sandbox. You are not digging alone, there are others with tools, so share the load.

Building strong team morale and culture is the responsibility of everyone on your team. In a perfect world everyone would work together seamlessly. But this is not the case. Maintaining a business social interaction rather than one of friendship is simply the best way to maneuver if you intend to shovel along side those individuals. Realizing you need not befriend everyone in the sandbox is a mature and realistic view of another day in the workplace.

Life’s a Beach

So fitting that my movie reference comes from a classic, “Once Upon a Time in Mexico”, a must watch in my opinion. It was shared with me by a friend, and Robert Rodriguez Film enthusiast. But I have digressed slightly, as I find myself in between a Trump and a hard place.

I am a college educated African American female who is registered as a republican, and have been since I signed my voters registration card in high school. That is not to say that I have always voted for my party. On the contrary, I have probably voted against party-lines more often, not necessarily for a democrat, but not republican since I first started voting in 2006. I have done my duty to make sure I educate my self on the statements made during various campaigns and watching their actions as well. But I have also watched the people supporting these parties and the more and more I see republicans in 2017, the less I like.

There seems to be many closeted values they hold dear that I can not, and are insulting to me, but I don’t think I see myself as a democrat either. I’ve never been too far right or too far left. I thought I was just right, like porridge. All joking aside I look at the shape of what our country is being molded into and the floor plan thus far isn’t pretty. From the inside looking out the women and men in “my party”, and from what seems like a strong majority, do not understand nor care to relate to people of color in their communities. The aren’t concerned with taking care of people as ethically as they do their pockets. And considering we have Trump as a president currently ethics have flown completely out the window.

I think its safe to admit that the republicans of the past are not the republicans of 2017, and that’s just something I can’t be on board with.

#jumpingship #livelovestaylit #republicant

I recently moved to Florida which is about 1200+ miles from the majority of my friends, family, and my boyfriend who resided back in the north east. My decision to move came with a couple challenges. Most importantly the task of finding a place to live in a few weeks as my move was centered around a new job I accepted. That being said, I didn’t do much questioning about the people I love and share my life with. Obviously distance was going to play a factor in the amount of time and frequency of our interaction. Whether I could maintain those relationships, family, platonic and romantic, was not the matter at hand. Whether or not I wanted to is the choice I had to make.

If you can find me on google maps I don’t see the problem…

I never quite understood why people always equated physical distance to success in relationships. For instance, my mother is also in the northeast currently, but I do not have a long distance relationship with her. She is my mother regardless of if I am here or Shanghai. She is one of my best friends (but she will never be “one of my little friends” ever). The same goes for my boyfriend. I am not in a long distance relationship with him. I am in a relationship with him. My degree of commitment has not changed simply because my address has. Sure the frequency of physical intimacy has changed. But intimacy is not only measured physically, and shouldn’t be in a truly fulfilling relationship. 

Physical location has very little to do with actual distance in a relationship. 

With Facetime, Google hangout, Skype, JetBlue there’s literally no excuse when it comes to interactions or even intimacy with those you care about. There are plenty relationships with people in the same room together, and yet miles apart. Or instances where individuals feel smothered even though they are too far to physically even touch one another. People I consider best friends still hold that title and also act as such. So why is it heard so often that romantic relationship do not hold up. Regardless of the relationship type, if the connection you created with someone is worth it, and realistic to where you are at that time in your life, you will take the time to make it work. 

So no, I don’t do “long distance”. That’s a term for phone carriers and mail services. I do relationships. You’re either in or you’re out. There shouldn’t be a cap on the distance you are willing to interact with anyone, unless they aren’t someone you really want to share your time and life with.

Excuse my time away as I needed to realign a few things, shift my priorities, or better yet re-adjusted my focus. It’s not that I had nothing to say, but I was not in a place to speak the words I needed.

Sometimes it takes a bit of separation to fully understand what you are looking at. As an artist, spending hours and hours on a piece, while it feels like work is being done, it’s necessary to take a step back and look away. The same thing needs to happen for us as individuals. Of course you can make progress if you just keep working, but when to step away and come back to it you give yourself time to look at the full picture.

I find myself doing the same with relationships because, as you grow older sometimes these too need to be reevaluated. It’s better to know when friends have developed into an acquaintances, than continuing to investing friendship benefits into an acquaintances. But it’s hard to do that if you never actually take it into account.

I’ve had to do this same thing for myself on a career level as well. Today is my first day at the job, and I have not been able to fall back asleep since 5am. I don’t know the outcome of this new company. But staying in the same pattern and expecting something different, while not readjust your focus to the bigger picture, doesn’t benefit me. Since the sun is up and so is Florida it’s now time for breakfast!

Creatives working in non-art/media related jobs, and not continuing to practice their craft is one of the most common issue I’ve noticed post-university. It’s a draining task to find a job in your field, and excel at it. Sadly most who didn’t snag that job or internship right out of college are doing everything but creative thinking. The task of flexing those muscles is almost nonexistent. Unfortunately for them any muscle that goes unused becomes stiff and weakens over time. If you apply the same concept to creative juices, it’s easy to understand the dilemma.

Moving forward to new opportunities is not something that will come without a bit of work. There are a few things to keep creative minds from falling into the Bermuda Triangle of the post-college / professional world until landing the right employment. It will force you to go out of your comfort zone, but that’s so much better than not moving at all.

1. Create your own projects and refine your brand. (Pintrest and chill)

You are your own brand no matter the client or job. Make sure you take this time to cultivate who you are. Creating projects for yourself will force you to think outside of the box, even if it’s just filling out a sketch book or drafting a personal website. Make sure to flex your creative muscles to their full potential. Not being hired into a creative field is not an excuse to be inactive in work you are passionate about. Even I need to give myself a kick in the butt to make sure I stay up on my toes.

2. Never underestimate free courses and tutorials

Asking for Google for help before asking someone for an answer is a great way to show problem solving skills. More importantly it’s a great way to find free information to techniques to learn new skills and refine the ones you already have. There’s always more to learn. Apply newly learned skills to some personal projects and you’re already getting back in motion.

3. Keep an open network of individuals with similar skills.

Some may have more experience than you, some may have less. From those with more experience learn skills and collaborate on projects you might come across. And for those will less experience than yourself, teach. Mentoring and collaboration are great ways to actively work on yourself and refine your skills, whether you are hired by a company or not. Personal development is crucial in any field.

Lastly, I would advice all young professionals to keep their resume and portfolios updated. They should grow and mature with you. Even if you’ve been working that same job for 3 years. It’s never bad to refresh you first impression, especially since most of us have them posted online; you never know who is watching.