#liru

"And not just, not just the coming back to life but truly immortal!" She's yelling, tears in her eyes as her hands fly up up before falling down to her hair and gripping it.

Jackie goes to get up as Anti seems to jerk at her response, as if he understands the weight of what she's saying that Jackie doesn't.

"Don't move!" She hisses and Jackie freezes before sitting back when she removes her hands from her hair, instead going to wrap her shawl around her tighter, her lips trembling as she seems to be staring far beyond what Jackie can see and he hates it.

He just wants to know whats going on.

She takes a few deep breaths and quickly reaches up to wipe away tears that hurt Jackie's heart.

"Y-you're not just, functionally immortal you're truly immortal. Your soul can't die." She stresses, "You cannot die, your soul, you, cannot be crippled or permanently damage, you will always heal, you can change and evolve and grow all you want but you can't, you just can't die, or suffer damages beyond the limitations you're own mind puts on you, what you put on yourself."

Jackie can only stare as she continues, "And fuck, you surviving Anti before being fucking shot should have been proof enough of that. And I'm fucking scared about that Jackie."

Her voice breaks and Jackie jerks hearing that, his eyes shooting up to meet her teary, scared, ones.

"There have only been two phoenixes before you, other people who fucking destroyed themselves to avoid being used, as vessels."

Jackie hears Anti inhale sharply in the back of his mind… from the warmth of his chest that has his stomach sinking.

"So their bodies don't become stolen from others who want the power of a phoenix, to become that level of immortal and I'm scared of that happening to you if I do this wrong. But I'm more scared of what will happen to Anti because if I fuck this up he's dead and gone."

Anti's buzzing disappears as he feels utterly still at this knowledge.

"And I don't know what the remnants of his soul, him, will do in response to your soul, you. Because if it, if you don't see him as a threat if that happens i don't know what will happen."

Jackie is just starting at her, his stomach starting to sink as what she's telling him begins to settle.

"Because we need to be calm, you need to be calm because Anti is tangled in your soul, like, like a cat who played with a ball of yarn and got tangled in it."

Jackie's chest seizes as Liru's hand comes up, three fingers pinches so tightly her nails are digging into her thumb, her eyes wide despite the tears as she stares at him.

Anti lets out a shuttering breath, suddenly so still, scared to 'move', as if one wrong thought would have him burned out of Jackie as if he hasn't been there for months now.

"And if you aren't calm, if Anti, if I'm not calm, you're instincts might lash out and kill him before either of us even know what's happened."

It's quiet for a moment as he digests it, swallowing harshly at the thought of even accidentally killing Anti.

"Oh…" Is the only thing he can say in response and Liru's shoulders droop as she realizes he understands.

"I know, I know it's scary." She says quietly, to both of them, he can feel it.

"How…" Jackie swallows, he doesn't know why but he just, has to know, "How, how do you know? That he's… tangled. In my soul."

Jackie is gripping his pants so tightly, the warehouse hot with his anxiety.

She sighs and lets her arms drop, "The, the blackness on your chest, when you told me it was a bruise, I, don't get me wrong I didn't believe it was a bruise but I didn't know what it was until I knew Anti was in there with you, before, before you got-" He voice cracks and cuts off and she looks away, finally moving as her knees unlock, something she didn't realized she had done and she stumbles out of the circle. 

"Before your magic started waking up. Your body couldn't handle you both, and, at the time Jackie, might as well have been a cartoon birdcage for a peacock. Too small for something so big." She begins to clean up the area around the circle and begins lighting the candles.

Jackie does his best to relax now, now that he feels he understands more of whats going on.

"And, and honestly, it's, and I fucking hate saying this, if it weren't for that motherfucker whoever they are, whatever hell they landed into, if they were so lucky, if it weren't for them and that stupid gun your body would have eventually died and your soul would have lashed out and killed him anyway." She lets out a slightly hysteric laugh as she finishes, moving back to the caster part of the circle, in front of Jackie and moves to her knee's, taking deep breaths as she leans her head back, reaching up to grab her mask so it doesn't slip off.

"And, and if that had happened, the magic backlash would have been even stronger, would have torn a hole in reality, worse than the one that Robotics opened, bigger and ever growing like burning paper. And those people, the ones that scared the phoenix's away from their own person-hood, away from people as a whole, so they wouldn't be used as vessels for evil so great and vile, would have come looking for you." She tells him, sounding so small as she looks back at him, hands coming down to lay on her knees.

Jackie's heart breaks a bit, hearing the fear, the insecurity in that small voice.

"Well, that didn't happen. It wont happen." Jackie tells her as she does his best to soothe himself.

She watches him for a moment, eyes still scared but she slowly begins to relax and she nods, murmuring softly "Okay…"

She takes another breath before nodding, "Okay, we just, we all need to be calm… I'm sorry for yelling."

She apologies softly, looking at him so tired but so affectionate and loving and Jackie gives her a soft smile, "I forgive you, besides, i think thats the first time you've yelled at me in… well since I came home naked."

He doesn't like thinking about when he, his body, whatever, fucking died either, but he tries to be humorous regardless.

Liru just grimaces at the memory, "I'm sorry for that to. I was scared but I should have yelled at you after you had just…"

Jackie sighs and gives her a tired but understanding smell that has her melting. "And I forgave you then to."

He sees tears build for a different reason and she's quick to wipe them away to.

"I love you so much, Jackie." She chokes out, and Jackie can feel the weight of her honesty against his own soul.

"I love you to." Jackie tells her honestly and lovingly as he manages to relax, sitting up straight.

She gives him a watery grin before copying his straight back and shaking her head for a quick reset and slides the grinning cat like mask, the earrings jingling softly as the currently black feathers lay flat against/around her head.

"Ya alright in there Anti?" Jackie asks, he's been weirdly still since the revelation.

"Y-yeah, just, d-don't want to die y'know?" He laughs nervously and Jackie can't help but feel sympathetic.

"Hey, everything will be okay, we just, need to relax." Easier said then done but Jackie is trying his best.

Anti just lets out a shaky breath and nods.

"Ready?" He asks him.

"Ready." Anti responds, doing his best to relax, but unable to get rid of the anxiety entirely, feeling as if he's on a row boat surrounded by alligators.

"We're ready." Jackie tells her, determined for this to work.

She nods, taking a deep breath and despite her shaking hands, breaths out into the air, a spacey pink mist escaping as her eyes close behind the mask, and then the mask feathers splay out, flashing multiple colors brightly as her face snaps towards them, eyes snapping open revealing an expanse of multicolored space.

Look At Me, Anti

Anti tenses, feeling himself forced forward, almost, next to Jackie, or perhaps he doesn't even move, and he sees those eyes and for a split second, sees the little girl he used to know to the woman he now does, and it feels like he's being studied, only for a moment before she leans forward, hands slamming forward, a loud church bell ringing out once, twice, a third and finally a fourth.

The color of her feathers pulsing, almost rainbow, tipped with a glowing sunset orange but a pixie dust type of glow, almost like tinker bell, the colors rolling and pulsing like waves and a heart, breathing like the forest as she begins to sing.

"Run boy run! This world is not made for you

Run boy run! They're trying to catch you

Run boy run! Running is a victory

Run boy run! Beauty lays behind the hills"

Every word makes him feel seen, and feels like he needs to scream, but he feels as if he's falling asleep and waking up.

And when he opens his eyes, he's covered by feathers, surrounded them more like it, orange and yellow and red, Anti freezes as he realizes something and slowly looks up, only to be greeted, with a very large bird head, big white eyes staring down at him, unseeing, slowly pulsing a familiar blue and suddenly, this is Jackie, watching him, making sure that he's okay.

Does Jackie even know he's doing this? Is this how he knows what Anti looks like?

Anti's movements are slow, as he slowly uncurls from himself, and he almost jerks as he looks down seeing his own soul? Possibly? His, his hands and feet are a smokey black covering them, all clawed but his finger claws are especially long and think, he jerks uncomfortably, and he bites back a hiss as he glitches and he looks down to his chest and frowns when he sees bloody feathers on his chest, coming from his neck.

And he realizes he's covered in a deep emerald green feathers with a lighter green iridescence, and he does his best to remain calm seeing the wings sprouting from his back and he just swallows, not even wanting to know what the weight on his head is.

The phoenix, Jackie just watches him, and he's only now realizing that he's on it's- his belly.

The phoenix is curled around him, and he carefully moves to the edge and one of the wings move just enough to let Anti see out and he freezes again, he's in a, almost pink and orange cloudy space, thats warm and toasty with something beyond, a familiar eye shape blinking beyond with hundreds of other eyes that seems to light up when they seem him.

"Tomorrow is another day

And you won't have to hide away"

Her voice comes through, unwavering but gentle, trying to coax him out, he almost launches himself if not for the giant, unfamiliar eyes that block his path out of nowhere.

Anti nearly has a fucking heart attack as he realizes the the creature in front of him, a fucking dragon.

There's a fucking dragon.

"You'll be a man, boy!

But for now it's time to run, it's time to run!"

His mind bringing up Liru's memories, of how dragons were wiped out to near extinction in her world, the dragon is blue, and red, with a green flame flickering with what seems to be fascination along the top of his head, and hints of purple from what he can see, nearing the red from the blue on its neck. and those fucking blue eyes again.

Is, is the dragon also Jackie?

And then it fucking greens, sharp teeth that remind him of Liru's, scratch that, those look like Liru's just, different, like, the way humans can tell people by their teeth, holy fuck he does not have time for these revelations.

"So this is what you look like?" Jackie's voice whispers, quieter than Liru's singing.

And it comes from the fucking Dragon. It's mouth fucking moves.

And then a memory of Liru explaining why dragons had been wiped out, and why their teachings of fire had been so important to magic.

"Fire is a heart beat, it's life, it's a life giver, it's how things were sterilized for the longest time, it's how water became safe, it's how old becomes new-"

Anti chokes up suddenly.

How old becomes new. A phoenix. A heart Beat, Life, Life giver.

Jackie.

Jackie is warm, always, even when upset, his body- well, soul, even when he felt empty, there were still the feeling of warm embers.

Jackie who is looking at him from two sets of eyes.

"Nice horns." Jackie whispers and Anti's hands fly up to the weights on his head and he chokes, feeling the horns, a ribbed spiral going up and down, and a dip that he shivers from touching and quickly pulls his hands away from, not wanting to feel that specifically right now.

The dragon? Jackie? Dragon Jackie carefully ducks down, horns framing the visual of familiar black bone hands reaching through the clouds, making and open to the space with eyes for stars that he can now feel is Liru.

And now he can hear her voice clearly and slowly, he stands letting the music watch over him, her voice and the music her magic is making with it.

"Run boy run! This ride is a journey to

Run boy run! The secret inside of you"

He reaches out as the hands get closer and slowly, the wrap around his hands, unflinching of his claws or the texture of said hands.

He feels the pair not holding open the clouds carefully enclose around his ankles, careful not to startle Jackie or Anti, letting them feel exactly what she's doing.

"Run boy run! This race is a prophecy

Run boy run! And disappear in the trees"

And slowly, she lifts Anti, and his tail comes out to wrap on of her arms, there's a moment where the movement halts before continuing.

Pulling him from Jackie, though the phoenix squawks and flaps it's wings, upset by the sudden lose of Anti's weight, but he feels Jackie take a deep breath and the phoenix carefully moves so it's standing right side up on seemingly nothingness.

"Tomorrow is another day

And you won't have to hide away"

Her voice is so melodic, and gentle, he can feel himself falling slack the closer to the clouds he gets, but he doesn't feel scared, he feels tired, he is tired. But he's so close, so close to his own body, so close to Freedom.

And while Anti can't see it, his feathers pulse from his chest at the thought, excited, accepting, Freedom. Freedom.

"You'll be a man, boy!

But for now it's time to run, it's time to run!"

And he's not alone, he wasn't abandon, he wasn't forgotten about or left behind, and he's no longer lost

"Tomorrow is another day

And when the night fades away"

He lets his world go dark, and suddenly the music is loud and her voice is so clear, as if he's hearing with his own now.

You'll be a man, boy!

But for now it's time to run, it's time to run!

The song ends and Anti opens his eyes, staring up at the ceiling but, he can see Jackie, looking down at him visibly shocked, before his face breaks out into a smile and a glow around them fades, the circle, it had been glowing and Anti hadn't even noticed.

"Holy shit…" Jackie breathes excitedly before his eyes snap to Liru, though he only gets a glance as she throws her self at Anti, hugging him tightly before being joining by Jackie.

Her entire body is trembling and he can feel her emotions, he relief, lingering anxiety and her absolute joy at giving him a body.

Anti slowly before tightly hugging them back as tears form in his eyes. He's free.

Liru's the first to pull away, frantically asking, "How do you feel, does this feel right, your breathing your heart-"

"Easy love, give him a second to get up." Jackie tells her lightly but affectionately and his heart squeezes a bit but he ignores that feeling and decides to do what Jackie says.

He slowly lifts him help and pauses, seeing his feet, they look like how they did in Jackie's soul, he then brings his hands up to look at and frowns a bit, wondering why they look like how they did in Jackie's soul.

Liru reaches over, grabbing one gently without hesitation and Jackie is quick to follow, grabbing his other one and smiling gently, though Anti can feel that he's confused at the sight, accepting, just confused. It chokes him up and he looks towards Liru, who's looking so affectionate at him as she gently runs a finger over his wrist.

"It's okay dear, there's nothing to be upset about, you were never going to be human, there's nothing wrong with it, you're just you and thats what we wanted." Liru tells him softly, reaching another hand up to cup his face and Anti fucking melts.

She's so warm, so loving, gently cradling his face like he's something precious, but he can also feel her exhaustion with all her joy and happiness.

"The first thing Imma do when I get you a body is give you a hug because thats just depressing." The memory forces itself to the surface of his mind, not a memory Liru showed him, but his own, of the two of them, two children stuck in the void together, one raised from the other lost into. Liru's promise to give him a hug after making him a body and holy fuck she did.

Liru grins, teary, as if knowing what he's thinking about and much more carefully this time, hugs him.

"I'm happy you're here." She whispers into his sensitive ear, he almost jerks feeling it flick and she pulls away with a giggle.

"Thank you…" He breathes out, voice a little scratchy and she grins to widely and those teeth, just like, like Dragon's he supposes.

Just like… he looks at Jackie, whose to distracted to notice his partners teeth with him.

"Thank you." He chokes out and Jackie's look turns more kind and He hugs him to and slowly, Anti hugs back, mind flashing back to Liru describing what it was like to hug her older siblings as warmth fills his chest and he just melts and she snuggles the both of them close and Anti is quick to wrap an arm around her.

At least until he practically feels the exclamation point above her head in realization.

"Clothes!" She yells, mildly panicked and flustered and Jackie laughs, pulling away, but Anti can feel him flustered at forgetting that Anti was naked as Liru scrambles to the boxes she had been using to hold the ingredients and scrambling back.

Anti, doesn't particularly care, having not worn really any clothes beyond possession until now, it's, not something he really understood, at least until he shivers, a breeze lazily making it's way through the warehouse making him shiver.

"Lets get you dressed man." Jackie chuckles fondly.

Ah, maybe thats why the clothes are important as he's quick to take the, quickly becoming apparent oversized clothes that Liru and Jackie help him put on as he almost falls over when they try to help him stand to put the boxers on.

@randowaffle