#line please

It’d been a few weeks since they’d beaten the king. A few weeks since breaking both his curse and Siffrin’s. A few weeks since they decided to keep traveling together. They were on the road this lovely morning, camping in the woods as they often had. Birds sang their cheerful Piou Piou as Bonnie threw a bunch of leftover ingredients into a mass of omelettes. Most smelled quite good, but everyone silently agreed that Siffrin would get the “honor” of trying the Pear and Cream Omelet. Isabeau was taking down most of the tents while Odile worked on purifying some water with craft, leaving Mirabelle awkwardly idle. Sure, she’d been the one to chop the firewood—scissors craft was useful for that—but it still felt wrong to be the only one not helping!

Though look! It seemed she was no longer alone.

“Good morning Siffrin, did you sleep okay?” Mirabelle asked gently. Hopefully he wouldn’t find it condescending, but these days, it was something worth asking…

His curse may have been broken, but he still suffered from it.

“Hey Mira, have you thought about doing a sleepover tonight?”

“Um… we do those… every night?” Mirabelle said. She had a sinking feeling in her gut, but no need to panic yet! Maybe it was just a strange but innocent question, maybe it’d be a one off, maybe-

“Absolutely, I’ll let everyone know!”

“Siffrin, that’s not…” Deep breaths Mirabelle, you couldn’t panic now! Panicking would just make him panic, and then they’d both be panicking, and that wouldn’t help anyone, and-

Deep breaths, Mira. In… and out… (Thank you, Siffrin, for teaching her that). She took an acting class once, as one of the many, many classes she took at the House of Change. It wasn’t one that had interested her all that much, but time to put at least a bit to good use. She kept a smile on her face and forced her cadence cheerful as she raised her voice, looking at the others. “Hey guys! Siffrin is scripting again! What should we do about that?”

It wasn’t the first time something like this happened. Sometimes, something would occur that was a bit too similar to something that already happened and he’d just run with it. He described it as instinct. Blind. Deaf. Unthinking. As ingrained as returning a hello, or his attempts to wink despite only having one eye so it looks like blinking. He just woke up though, what would’ve triggered it? Maybe her being the first he saw? But that hadn’t happened in days! Turned out he just needed to be carried in a tent if he fell asleep outside—waking up on grass to sunshine and temperate weather was, sadly, a trigger. So something else?

A few times he just started falling back on lines when he got too stressed out… oh! A nightmare, maybe? That seemed most likely. Or if he had a nightmare about waking up in loops, it could be both… either way, that’s….

“Why are you acting so happy about that, you crab!” Bonnie yelled, glaring at her.

In a tone way too teasing to be any more natural than Mirrabelle’s, Odile said, “Because, young one, if we get too upset, Siffrin might panic.”

… what she said. Unfortunately, trying to just shock Siffrin out of his script tended to only lead to him shouting his lines instead. Turns out, adding stress to something stress related does NOT fix it!

Siffrin wandered over to Isabeau and greeted him with a cheerful, “Hey Isa! Need to do the favor tree thing!”

All of them looked at Siffrin helplessly with uneasy, clearly fake smiles except Bonnie. Bonnie stared at him with a clearly concerned pout. “So. What do we do?”

That was the question, wasn’t it? Because while they were learning some of Siffrin’s triggers and that trying too hard to break him out might very well make it worse…

They didn’t have a solution.

Siffrin, for his part, was apparently scripting so thoroughly that he was, in fact, trying to act out a day, ignoring that they were in a forest and there were no particularly large trees in favor of just finding a bit of root sticking out of the ground to sit on. He stared across from himself, waiting…

Waiting…

“… Loop?” Siffrin said. He blinked (or winked???) his eye rapidly, as though trying to clear something out from it. His head slowly swiveled as he took the world in with an utterly lost expression. Finally, he settled on Mira. “Where is everyone again?” The playfully embarrassed cadence didn’t fit his wide-eyed expression or shaking hands at all, but it was just another sad thing to get used to.

Where is everyone? What did that mean though? Could he not see them? Maybe the trees were hiding one of them from view? Perhaps Bonnie? He’d had a few lines pretty clearly concerned for the kid and-

“We’re in the Liligant Woods,” Odile said, “twelve days north of Vaugarde. We’re headed to Bambouch to reunite with Bonnie’s sister, and the loops have been over for three weeks.”

Oh , Mira thought, feeling a bit silly. That made sense, actually. There probably wasn’t any time where Siffrin needed to ask where he was (not many options there!), just everyone else…

Isabeau knelt across from Sif, close enough for their rogue to reach out to him, but not touching yet. (Another thing they failed on. He didn’t mind touch, actually, he just wasn’t used to it). “Are you back with us, buddy?”

“Isaaaaaaaaa!” Siffrin cringed at his own cheer, screwing his face up while the next lines spilled from his mouth. “What a… TREE-mendous tree.” He then face palmed, but cracked a smile as Isa laughed despite the situation.

“Sure is! Maybe not an actual favor tree, but still, gotta love these leaves, right? Look! Five pointed! Like a, uh…”

“They’re called constellations .” Siffrin paused, then shook his head.

“They’re… not?” Mirabelle said.

“I think you mean stars, right? Like that word you say under your breath!” Isabeau said.

Siffrin actually smiled a little at that. He inched forward a bit, but paused. It was hard to tell what, exactly, he was thinking, but as Isa opened his arms for a hug, Siffrin almost literally fell into them.

Isa grinned and scooped Siffrin up like a little princess, bringing him over to the fire.

Bonnie grinned, taking a plate. “Heyfrin! I know you can’t say how cool and awesome and delicious they are ‘cause you’re stuck with the same lines, but! OMELETTES! And one of them, is my secret special one! Try it!”

Oh. Oh no. Mira had to try her best not to grin, a skill honed through many puns. Luckily madame had a great poker face, and Bonnie would look eager no matter what, so really only Isa was going to give it away, and  Frin was too busy being held and blushing and pointedly not looking to see Isa trying not to laugh.

Siffrin. Poor, trusting Siffrin took a bite of the dreaded pear and cream omelet and managed to smile despite it, chewing for way too long.

Madame smirked at him, “So, how was it, young one?”

Siffrin gave a thumbs up, a grin, and said, “Croissants.”

“Hmm… bad then,” Bonnie said, nodding sagely. They put a stick on their nose and pushed it up like it was a pair of glasses and pretended to write something down. “No one appreciates my gee-nee-us. I am researching omelette ology. Very important, makes my back hurt.”

”Really, Boniface?” Odile said, though she couldn’t stifle a laugh. “We’ll see how your back is doing in forty years.”

The actually good omelets were passed around shortly after. Unfortunately, Siffrin had to be returned to the ground so Isa could eat too. Sure, Isa probably could’ve carried Sif under one arm like a sack of potatoes, but then Siffrin would have a hard time eating, so really this was best for everyone.

Siffrin only picked at breakfast though, except for when Bonnie was watching. Thankfully, he could scarf down food fast enough that a bit of child-staring ensured he was fed, but…

“… hey, are you okay? I’d, uh, say we should have a feelings talk, but given the circumstances…” Isabeau said. He was trying to stay positive, but everyone could see him trying almost as hard as Siffrin to find words, but neither could.

Odile spoke up next, “Well, whenever you do, I don’t mind listening either.”

“Woop woop.”

“Are you sassing me?” Odile said, eyebrow raised.

“In a while, Rockodile!” Siffrin said with a grin.

“NO!” Bonnie shouted.

Siffrin opened his mouth with one of those cat-like grins he gave before making a pun, but what came out, well, wasn’t, “Rice. Pineapples. Samosas.” He chuckled like he’d said something, but everyone’s confusion and worry must’ve shown. He slunk back, trying to hide under a hat he didn’t have anymore.

“… Siffrin?” Mirabelle said, reaching a hand out but stopping short.

“… take my ashes and throw them from the highest peak,” he said, pulling his legs up to his chest and hiding in them.

Mirabelle’s heart twisted in her chest. He’d been doing so well, but she couldn’t imagine this was easy. It was tempting, to try to just keep going, to smooth it over for them, but would that help? It might just make things worse, and even if she asked, he couldn’t answer.

“Sif?” Isabeau said.

Siffrin had gotten up, leaving. “Sleepover, clock tower, see you there!”

The others started talking, moving, but Mirabelle sat, still thinking.

How would that feel? To wake up and barely be able to communicate? To go off thinking she was doing one thing and realize she was somewhere completely different? To try to apologize, but not having the words. It feels uncomfortable just imagining it, but with other people, it’s worse. It’d be so frustrating to look up, to try to talk, but then not be able to understand. And then trying anyways, it’d be so sweet, but she’d feel guilty for it. Wouldn’t it just be easier to leave? Then they wouldn’t have to adjust for her. Though maybe that was just her anxiety speaking, telling her that others wouldn’t want to deal with it, but isn’t this anxiety too? Fear and pain and trauma? Maybe not exactly the same, but still. And imagine that happening so quickly? Asking everyone to accommodate her? Everyone to…

Change.

Stand up Mirabelle. This is your cue. “I’ve got this.”

Siffrin was fast, he’d already run off, but he was upset enough that he didn’t bother hiding his tracks (or maybe he wanted found). Bushes and grass were pushed aside, branches broken, an easy trail. Siffrin sat by a stream, muttering lines to himself and tugging at his hair in frustration. It tore at her heart. In some ways, it was hard to imagine this was the same, playful and near-careless traveler they met on the road…

“You’ve Changed,” Mirabelle said.

Siffrin jumped, twirling around. “Mirabelle, have you heard of the CARROT method?” He tugged on his hair again, teeth grit. In other circumstances, maybe it’d be comical to see him throw a fit after saying something out of context, but knowing he couldn’t stop…

“I have, actually,” Mira said. “Thank you.” She went to sit beside him, watching the water flow. “… it’s hard, isn’t it? Changing.”

He blinked at her, opening his mouth before nodding his head. Siffrin sat back down, just watching.

“A lot of people come into the House all the time, you know? To learn, to try new things, to become different people. It’s expected, celebrated even, but it doesn’t mean we take it lightly. Change is destruction, and you have to weigh that when you decide to Change…”

“And you didn’t get that choice, did you?”

Siffrin shook his head, tears beading in his eyes.

“That’s alright. Sometimes it just happens. And, well… you can’t always get back what you lost, but you can still try to Change in ways you’d rather, y’know? And, um…” she swallowed a lump in her throat.

“Maybe we should go over strategy?” Siffrin said, putting a hand on her back.

“Thanks Siffrin, but- hey! Wait! I’m supposed to be comforting you!”

He chuckled under his breath.

Mira huffed a little, but smiled. “The point is, well, yes, you’ve Changed. And it was forced on you, so now you’re something you probably didn’t want, but that doesn’t mean we stop living you. A lot of people Change all the time, and we still welcome back whoever they are now. I’d be a crabbing TERRIBLE house maiden if I left you just because you have some trouble communicating now.”

Siffrin’s breath hitched and he inched closer, slowly putting his head on her shoulder. Wetness soaked the fabric there as she threaded fingers through his hair. “It’s okay. I’m here. You Changed, but I still love you.”

His hands came out, tugging almost desperately on the fabric. The hug was near-crushing, almost painful. Perfect.

“There there… I get it. Having trouble with, um, thoughts and all. And I can barely imagine, I’m, making you guys try to figure things out, but we want to, okay? Besides, I’m great at learning! I’ve learned so much I taught classes on learning! And, um, maybe im not naturally as smart as Isabeau and Odile, but they are! And kids can Change really easily, and the point is we care. We care enough to Change with you, to learn. If you’ll stick around and give us the chance.”

He couldn’t muster more than a nod between sobs as an answer, but that was good enough for her. They sat there until Siffrin cried themselves out, leaning lightly against her as they returned.

He only let go to collapse into Isabeau’s arms instead.

“Good talk?”

“Sounds like there’s nothing else for me to add, huh?” Siffrin said. It was hard to pin his voice, hard to say when he’d use this line, but at least for now he was smiling.

-------