The worst part about being me is I want to forgive people who have hurt me. Who have lied and wanted to ruin me.
But I guess that’s just the child in me wanting to be happy again.
But I know I will never be as happy as I was before “the incident” before my symptoms and everything was ignored.
I hate my actions growing up. I hate what I did to be where I am today. But I’m finally able to see the bright colors I saw as a kid. The bright greens and blue of the world. And the way the sun dances on the leaves. I missed it for…15 years. After the abuse, and hurt I went through I think I finally made it.
And I’m happy for the friends that have come and gone. The friends I never message anymore, the friends who stood by me no matter what day I went through.
And I’m thankful for the loving partner I have who has seen, every panic attack, every trauma response I have had and every mental breakdown/ breaking I have been through. And honestly I don’t know where I would be with out them, or the friends I have today.
And all I have to say is thank you.