#like... ok... i mean... have fun i guess...

It just… kept going. The pretence. The performance. For God’s sake, it wasn’t even a good performance. Every laugh rang hollow on the inside. Every moment of silence saw Whumpee staring at the wall with that look in their eyes because they'd forgotten people were watching. The other week, Friend had raised their hand to gesture while speaking, and Whumpee flinched so hard they nearly toppled out of their seat. Then, as if all was right with the world, they brushed off Friend’s concern with a dismissive “Hm? Oh, no, I’m great! Just a little tired today, I guess.”

And they were tired that day, but not from a simple poor night’s rest, but because they’d woken up screaming in the middle of the night. The sound had echoed through the house so loudly it had tugged Caretaker from her sleep and straight into a cold sweat. She had rushed to Whumpee’s bedside, only to be met with their insistence that she must be imagining things and that nothing was amiss.

They had nightmares most nights, and every time without fail they acted like everything was perfectly fine and dandy despite the glassy sheen in their eyes and the tremble in their hands.

It was the same story every time Caretaker tried to address the elephant in the room. No matter how gently she tried to say, “Whumpee, please, we should talk about what you went through…”, Whumpee’s brittle smile would stretch taunt and they would say, “Nothing happened. I’m fine, there’s nothing to talk about.”

She tried a million things. Sat with them in silence, hoping for a hint of genuine vulnerability. Approached the topic of therapy, thinking that maybe Whumpee would talk to someone else even if they wouldn’t talk to her. Tried to get them to take the day off work so they could spend time together. Every attempt was more futile than the last. Whumpee refused to even acknowledge that anything had happened to them. Caretaker knew it wasn't about her- God, she knew. She reminded herself daily. But she was tired, running herself ragged trying to figure out what to do. Desperation was kicking in.

By the end of the fourth week, Caretaker had had enough. This couldn’t go on forever — the other shoe had to drop. Something had to give.

“We need to talk.”

Whumpee was standing with their back to her as they looked through the pantry. They stilled almost imperceptibly at her words, shoulders tense, but after a moment they casually reached up to grab a box of cereal. “About what?”

A prickle of frustration rippled across Caretaker’s skin. That tone — the one that meant they’d already decided not to even entertain the idea of hearing her out. She took a deep breath, trying to settle herself as Whumpee crossed the kitchen to get a bowl. “You know what,” she told them firmly, “It’s not some- some mysterious secret. I’ve been trying to talk to you about it for weeks.”

Whumpee’s breathing got a little uneven, fingers unsteady as they poured cereal into the bowl. They were facing Caretaker now, but they hadn’t even glanced her way once. After a moment, they spoke. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You-” Caretaker bit back whatever was about to come out of her mouth. She knew her anger would only make this worse but she couldn't help it. Agitated, she continued. “You brush me off every time, Whumpee. I get that it must be hard, but what Whumper did to you isn’t just going to go away!”

Whumpee froze. Their gaze flicked from where it had been fixed on their meal up to Caretaker’s face. “Have you considered,” they gritted out, voice a fragile calm, “that I don’t want to talk to you about it?”

There it was. They had admitted it — finally, they had admitted that there was something to talk about. It should have felt like a win, but something about the way their eyes looked after she had said Whumper’s name made the tiny victory fall flat. “I know you don’t, okay? I get it. It’d be fine if you… didn’t want to discuss it with me. But you won’t with anyone. You just pretend it didn’t happen, and that’s not healthy! Saying you’re fine doesn’t make it true!”

“I am fine!” They snapped, flakes of cereal scattering across the counter as the box slammed down.

“You’re not!” Caretaker erupted. “I KNOW you’re not fine! And you know what? Everyone can see it! Do you not see the way people look at you?” She raked her hands through her hair as she paced across the tile floor, eyes prickling with unwelcome tears. “We’re not blind! We can see the way you flinch all the time, the- the constant exhaustion, the fake smiling! We can all tell!”

Silence fell, the air abruptly empty. Whumpee was looking at her, their dark circles more pronounced than ever, and something… changed. A derisive laugh clawed its way out of Whumpee’s throat, curling into something explosive. “You want to talk about it? FINE. Let’s fucking talk!”

Dread pooled in Caretaker’s belly. She got the distinct feeling that this was going very, very wrong. Her lips parted to speak, but Whumpee wasn’t done yet.

“Let’s talk about how Whumper used to chain me up so now I can’t wear anything around my ankles or wrists without feeling like I’m back there!” The words sliced through the room, Whumpee’s fingers encircling their own wrist before their hands snapped apart. They pushed away from the counter, fingers trembling. “Let’s talk about how Whumper would show me his shiny new blades before using them on me, as if they were some f-fucking new toy he was so keen to try out!”

“Whumpee,” Caretaker whispered, going unheard over Whumpee's rising intensity.

“Let’s talk about-” they inhaled sharply. Their mouth twisted as they stepped closer to her. “Let’s talk about how I can’t sleep because every time I try, it’s like his hands are on me again!” To Caretaker’s horror, Whumpee was crying now. Their breaths were quick and shallow, hitching with every exhale. Every word was steeped in bitter mocking. “Oh, oh, this is a good one — let’s talk about about the time he tied me down and fucking waterboarded me!”

She couldn’t breathe.

Whumpee lips turned up, and this time, it was less of a grin and more of a sarcastic baring of the teeth — stretched too wide and ugly, it made no attempt to disguise itself as a genuine smile. Tears dripped down their chin as they spread their hands in a this is it gesture. “Is this what you wanted? Do you feel better about yourself now?”

“I-” Caretaker’s voice came out strangled. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

They just stared at her for a moment, the fire in their eyes sputtering out into glowing embers. Then they brushed past her, their shoulders knocking together. “Yeah. I figured,” they muttered.

The crushing feeling in her chest got heavier with every step they took. Still, she did nothing. Just… watched them go, until they disappeared down the hallway to their room.

Caretaker stood there, brief and aimless. Salt bled into her mouth, mingling with the copper of her bitten tongue. The grief trapped behind the bars of her ribcage yawned and stretched, making itself at home. Slowly, she sank into a barstool at the counter, eyes landing on the box of cereal and the bowl on the counter. Uneaten. A wet sob caught in her throat, and her head fell into her hands. “Shit.”

Taglist: @lelkokkay (i thought i'd tag you because you seemed interested in this!! let me know if you want me to remove the tag though) @whumpawaydarling

A/N: um!! if y'all read this whole thing thank you endlessly <3 let me know what you think & i will love you forever probably. i hope this was comprehensible! it has certainly started to sound like gibberish to me but that might be because i just woke up.

NAME: Jack Sycamore, Pilot

SHIP: The Fallen Sequoia

COMPANY: Laser Logistics LLC

MISSION NAME: "Feed The Dragonfly" - resupplying remote space station

Crop 1: Jack wearing his pilot jumpsuit, along with zoomed in views of each of the 4 patches on it.

from left to right:

- "Mission logo patch" (removed after mission completed, replaced with a redundant second Fallen Sequoia patch later). located on his right shoulder (the viewer's left), the design features a somewhat dragonfly-shaped space station in orbit around a gas giant, along with some curved lines leading to the station from off-panel to indicate travelling there. there are also a few twinkling stars in the background.

- "Company patch" (removed after contract ended, not replaced with a new patch). located over his right breast pocket (the viewer's left), the design features a text-based logo reading 'Laser Logistics'. design-wise/calligraphically, the two words are stacked and share their starting letter, and the cross over the T in 'Logistics' is lengthened drastically on both sides, making a vague arrow shape with the large L as the arrow's head. The tail of the R in 'Laser' is also lengthened, and bounces off the line of the T like a laser bouncing off a surface.

- "Name patch". located over his left breast pocket (the viewer's right), it has two lines of text. the larger text of the top line reads 'Jack S.', and the subtext underneath reads 'Pilot'.

- "Ship insignia patch", "The Fallen Sequoia". located on his left shoulder (the viewer's right), it consists of a single black spade shape, with somewhat narrow strips of negative space/margins at the sides.

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The Fallen Sequoia:

Crop 2: A top-down view of the spade-shaped The Fallen Sequoia. The cockpit is at top of the diagram. There are 6 narrow windows going down the center of the ship, 3 on each side. The center of the ship has two long, skinny cargo bay doors running down it, in line with the lower 2 rows of windows. There are 6 narrow vents running parallel to the cargo bay doors, 3 on each side; there is also a ring of vents around the engine in the ship's 'tail'. There are no less than 16 stabilizing thrusters that are multi-directional/can be adjusted (more on those in the next image crop), placed at regular intervals. There are 3 large main thrusters in the ship's 'tail', and 4 smaller boost thrusters in the backs of the wings (2 in each wing).

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Crop 3: a view of the back of the left wing, showing 2 boost thrusters, 4 stabilizing thrusters, and a light near the wingtip. additionally, a simple diagram showing a closer view of one of the stabilizing thrusters. it is comprised of two main rotating parts: the white part can traverse 360° around (left and right), while the black part (where the actual thruster nozzle is) has 180° of rotation in elevation (up and down). the even distribution of stabilizing thrusters helps the ship with precise angling maneuvers and directional adjustments.

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Crop 4: a view of the whole ship, from somewhere between behind, to the left, and above. there are no labels or new information in this sketch, it just provides another complete angle of the ship to solidify the design

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Crop 5: a 'slice' diagram showing the interior structure of the ship. at the very top, in the cockpit, there is a color block to indicate the ship's control console. Leading from there down the center of the rest of the ship is the central ladder; when the ship is traveling through space at near lightspeed, the g-forces will keep the ship's gravity in a tall, upright position with 7 floors.

The top 3 floors gradually get wider going down like a pyramid, before floors 4-7 suddenly become smaller and consistent in size the entire rest of the way down. Sandwiching either side of floors 4-7 are twin gas tanks that lead to the main engine block, and all thrusters on the ship. Floor 6 is a little extra tall and predominantly taken up by the ship's life support systems (O2, water, etc.), while floor 7 is a pretty short, mostly-crawlspace area that a human of average height wouldn't be able to stand up in 90% of.

Floors (top to bottom):

1. Cockpit. the seats can rotate kinda between an upright and a laid back position gyroscopically, depending on current ship orientation. the design of the cockpit is actually in kind of a nebulous phase in my mind at this moment so i will have to revisit it with more details at some other time, most likely by just drawing it out.

2. Workspaces (agriculture, desk space, med lab). less a collection of separated workspaces, more a single workspace that has multiple little areas to it. there's a decent but underwhelming hydroponics setup, A Desk, and a counter with some assorted medical tools and scanners, and a kinda basic first-aid supply. there are also shelves up against and cargo strapped to the walls, making use of every free inch of space.

3. Living quarters (kitchen, beds, bath). a kitchenette with a very modestly-sized fridge and a separate (but still not very huge) chest freezer, next to a basic table with 2 chairs. a single bathroom, with a handwashing sink and shower stall, plus an enclosed toilet. its not a super scientific or realistic spaceship bathroom (which would be a lot more waterless) but please let him have this. let him have a normal-ish bathroom its all he has in the whole universe. anyway the beds... those might just be literal cubbies in the walls on that floor. they might have some kind of built-in shutter for privacy but i could also imagine it being the kind of thing where you would just need to hang up a blanket yourself to cover your 'room'. this is the floor with the second most nebulous and vague interior design concept bc it feels so important to get juuust right. i really need to draw this and the cockpit out to be able to say anything more concrete

4. Cargo bay A. a lot of shelves with things strapped down, and large cargo containers, also strapped down. everything is (or is supposed to be) 100% secured in both here and in cargo bay B. originally, about a fourth of the cargo in this bay was jack's personal cargo, a third was for the 'Feed The Dragonfly' mission, and the rest was extra rations or otherwise food-related.

5. Cargo bay B. the vast majority of cargo in here was for the 'Feed The Dragonfly' mission. after that was all dropped off, Jack redistributed his personal cargo from bay A, to have its weight more evenly split between both bays. visible in the soon upcoming final cropped image, there is also a folded-up cargo manipulation arm at the base of the B bay doors.

6. Engine Room (Life support systems, engine interface). i dont really have notes for this one i really am just imagining a room full of machines and systems and interfaces. a water tank maybe, plus heater. some kind of waste treatment/recycling thing. O2 scrubber/recycler. the HVAC unit(s?) probably live here too. like i said This Is Where The Machines Live.

7. Crawlspace (maintenance). main purpose is for getting physically beneath the life support systems, and within the inner engine systems, for marginally easier maintenance of very complex systems. there are connected hatches and sub-passageways leading all the way across the wingspan of the ship for full fuel line repair coverage, but the spaces are all very tight and hard to navigate.

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Crop 6: an underside view of the ship, as well as a simple side view of the crew hatch ladder extended with a person to scale (a little under half the height of the ladder).

When coming down to a planet, The Fallen Sequoia glides in descent and lands horizontally. It then requires external assistance (such as a crane) to return it back to an upright launch position again.

There are heat shielding plates covering the entire underside of the ship, protecting it as it enters atmospheres. There are 4 landing gear: 2 along the center, in the front and back, and 2 on the sides, under the cargo bays. There is an extendable ladder built into the crew hatch located under the ship. The hatch opens into the wall of cargo bay B; this is the primary way of entering and exiting the ship in either orientation. It is also where the ship connects to other ships and space stations, or where someone else could potentially attempt to board from.

the only other way in or out is through the cargo bay doors on the other side of the ship, but those can only be independently opened in zero gravity, and also take 5 minutes to open every time

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Crop 7: a dynamic view of the cargo bays with the doors open. the ship in this sketch is pointed down, to the left, and slightly toward the viewer, as if being seen POV by a third person overseeing the cargo operation from a distance.

various nondescript cargo can be glimpsed around inside the bays, and particularly light cargo can be strapped to the inside of the bay doors. at the [ship's] bottom of the bay doors in cargo bay B, there is a large fold-out arm mechanism that can be used to manipulate loose cargo. this is primarily used for cargo delivery at its final destination, or if jack needed to offer something to another ship for whatever reason. the vents around the cargo bay are for depressurizing the cargo bay cabins, so the doors can be opened and the insides exposed directly to Space.

anyway like the doors, i imagine the cargo arm mechanism probably also is pretty slow and really only works well in low-to-zero gravity conditions; i dont think it could handle lifting things on a planet's surface, and the ship probably would need external assistance (again, like a crane) to load things up from the ground into the cargo bays. it has a lot of hinges, which aids in maneuverability, but really weakens the power of the arm.