#like massive

no other reason

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i don't usually ask for this BUT I NEED YOU PEOPLE TO READ THE WHOLE DAMN THING CUZ IM LITERALLY (STILL) HYPERVENTILATING FROM IT

okay so i was in the car with my mom on my way to my dorm and we were having normal conversation and so on and then out of the blue she suddenly asks

mom: so in those "fandom" spaces, people write... what do you call them?

me (confused): fanfiction?

mom: yes, that. can people publish that and earn money from it?

me (extremely confused): well, people sometimes do, if the fic is long enough and good. obviously you gotta change the names if it's rpf (ALSO I EXPLAINED WHAT RPF MEANS TO MY MOM. HELP ME.)

so she asked me apparently there are so many good writers out there since there are lots of fanfictions, why do people write them instead of actually writing a book and publishing it & gaining profit from it?

so i explained to her the whole fanfiction culture, of how it's a thing that the writer writes for their own good and fun, free from pressure, and the readers like it and comment and so on.

and she keeps on asking me about fanfiction? like "is romance necessary" or "is it a open thing in fandoms or is it a bit like a hushed thing?" (HELP I WAS ALREADY DEAD AT THIS POINT) and i answered them ofc

when the interrogation(?) finally ended, i asked her, why are you asking me that? and she was like

mom: well, i just suddenly remembered how you liked writing when you were younger, and i'm pretty sure you'll want to publish a book one way or another later on. so i was just thinking, maybe you should practice writing and constructing plots or something like that from a younger age when you want to actually publish it later. and then i just thought of the fandom thing you told me about before, and then i thought of fanfictions.

me: okay....?

mom: what i want to say is that maybe you should like try writing even just one or two pages? as practice, you know. anything.

me (literally panicking) : so you're encouraging me to write fanfiction?

mom: not necessarily, just anything

me: but you're fine with fanfiction being included in that "anything"?

mom: i mean, i don't mind

MIND YOU THAT I HAVE MULTIPLE WIPS GOING ON RN AND AT THE BRINK OF FINISHING MY FIRST FIC EVER

me: oh okay *uncontrollable panicked laugh*

mom: i mean, they are still literature, right? reading or writing them will still improve your language, right?

me: yeah they do (<- are you literally insane)

*silence*

mom: YOU READ?

BRO I GENUINELY THOUGHT AT THIS POINT SHE KNEW

me (dead): I THOUGHT YOU KNEW

...

me: are you shocked

mom: no i'm not. (laughing)

mom: and just like how i just said, i just think you should try creating your own things, not just consuming things that others wrote

me: ??? (so she basically wants me to write fanfiction?)

and so the conversations went on and on like this

and i was having THE CRISIS OF MY LIFETIME whether i should tell her that i HAD THE SAME IDEA and was ACTUALLY WRITING ONE ATM

i was so scared literally i have never been so awkward in front of my mom (we are very close and we actually talk about everything but i WASNT planning on telling about fanfiction to her lmao especially since it's rpf) i can't even remember the other bits i was so panicking

then we arrived at the school and i was laughing so hard (panic) and my mom was laughing too. and i had to say

me: mom, please remember that i am a very executive person than you think

mom: *realizes*

me: *bolts out of the car*

mom: *gets out of the car*

me: *panicked laughter* are you shocked

mom: *laughing* no im not

me: do you think it's weird

mom: no i don't, i just think it's your youth culture

me: ...okay

mom: well i want to read it! (smiling)

me: NO. NO WAY YOU'RE GONNA READ IT

mom: what do you write about

me: I AM NOT GONNA TELL YOU (i literally write about two existing person being gay for each other. wtf)

mom: is it in english?

me: yes (thank god)

mom: *cheeky smile* i should go study english

me: MOM NO.

so this is what basically happened. and she was keep on laughing and teasing me and i was SO EMBARRASSED like wtf this was not how i imagined this ride would be. i nearly choked at how this conversation escalated gradually. and so i ran into my school.

and then my mom texted me "i know everything" NO MOM NO

so how do i feel right now? I DON'T KNOW maybe a bit relieved because she knows about it? but then again to look back at the conversation...

...

i need a rabbit hole

so yeah this was the story

also i do have to mention that she is a very funny person and all of this conversation was in (panicked) joy