QUESTION: Arletta, I have a question for you, well more of an issue. I had a friend, you may have known her, who committed suicide, as far as we know.Â
We developed a pretty deep connection soon after we met, and she wanted to move forward into a more intimate relationship, but I was not emotionally mature enough to get into a relationship, so we didn't.Â
I knew she was having a hard time with things in her life, not necessarily because of what she told me, but because I could feel her through that connection, and I believe that she could feel me as well. It was like we were supposed to be together but we never did, and it made things hard every time we saw each other.
Over time, I would see her less and less, and we'd talk less and less until one day she was gone. I would hear of her sighting every now and then, but they were few and far between. For the next few years, I'd try to find her several times a year, because I needed her in my life in some form, and I think she needed me.
I found out she'd killed herself while I was on an internship in New Jersey in 2006. She was living an hour away from me. She was so close.. If I knew where she was, I would have crawled there to find her and help, but I couldn't, because I didn't. It was not like I stopped caring for her and I heard, I was still hoping to find her one day and be in her life.
The few thing that I found out later, was that after I rejected her she wound up with a bunch of losers who as far as I can tell, made her life worse. I can't help but wonder if her life would have been different if I weren't afraid and to embrace that connection. Could I have helped her feel better about herself if I intercepted her from being caught by those who didn't honor her fragility? Would I have been able to reach her and turn her away from the course that she was on so she'd be here today? It hurts me every year about the same time, and I don't know how to resolve it. Any insight you can give would be appreciated.
GUIDANCE: Dearest Heart, First you must relieve your weary heart of this tremendous burden of responsibility for your beloved friend’s death. The decision to pass on when she did was hers alone, it was an agreement that her soul had made long before she incarnated in this life experience. It was what she chose to experience and there was nothing that you could have done to prevent this. Instead ease your heart by knowing that she knew, felt, appreciated and experienced the depth of your love and care for her through the very connection that you mentioned that was so alive between the both of you and held comforting memories of your presence. While not physically present she could still sense your regard energetically and drew strength from that. She thanks you for after all this time still cherishing her memory and wants to assure you that she is happy, joyous and at peace which is something that was a challenge for her to experience while she was still in this plane. She also wants you to release your sadness about her passing and begin to rejoice in that now her soul is well and good. The choices that she made as far as relationships and other things were hers alone. You are in no way responsible for that and in fact the reason why you were not able to bond and connect in an actual relationship in this lifetime is because you were not an energy match. Those that she did choose to bond with were experiences her soul chose to have so that she could resolve some karma around relationships from many lifetimes. That is also the reason she chose to depart so early. After she had completed her karmic lessons, she had fulfilled what she came in this lifetime to fulfill and her life’s mission was complete. From your human perspective her life and early demise appears to be a heartbreaking waste of talent, beauty and spirit but from a divine perspective it is as it should be and it is good and well and now complete. Yes you definitely needed her and she you. And you served her in more ways than you know and she is still serving you now. So once again on the next anniversary of her passing along with the sadness of her missing allow yourself to feel her happiness and her peace and rest in the knowing that she was aware of your heart, your regard and your love all along. This is Au’shoka, Arletta’s guide from spirit. She is simply a transmitter of clarity and guidance from your Soul or Higher Self to you. I assist her in connecting with your soul and what she conveys is what your Soul wants you to know. If you have any more specific questions contact Arletta. We are Yours….