Jun 3, 2023
One quote in particular struck out to me when I was writing Challenger Deep. I'd love to hear which words spoke to you the most below!
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One quote in particular struck out to me when I was writing Challenger Deep. I'd love to hear which words spoke to you the most below!
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I was deleting pictures in my gallery until I saw these. Nung nag rereview pa ako neto for LE. This was taken last September. Naalala ko 'tong araw na 'to, 'twas the day nung nag file ako ng application form sa PRC.
Before I get up from my bed I was giving a second thought kung itutuloy ko pa ba yung pag take ng exam. Ang dami kong ginawang excuse sa sarili ko; I was too brokenhearted that I couldn't concentrate with every readings that are piled up already in my study table, I am being told to start working on my papers for UAE at the same time, the drills were getting harder every day, I couldn't finish any resource that I have, I couldn't even read every slides of the ppt that I took a picture of, I couldn't get myself thinking that I will pass the exam. I JUST COULDN'T. I know sa sarili ko na hindi ko kakayanin. So ayoko nang ipagpilitan yung sarili ko na bumangon at pumunta sa PRC para mag file ng application.
Pero tumuloy parin ako. I went to PRC sa branch nila sa Robinson's Manila since dun ako malapit kasi katapat lang niya yung review center. I processed my papers together with my friends as usual. Gustong gusto kong paniwalain yung sarili ko na para ako sa Psychology, pero kapag naiisip kong malapit na yung LE, pakiramdam ko binabagsakan na ako ng langit at lupa sa sobrang kaba at sa pag oover think na HINDI AKO MAKAKAPASA kaya minamaliit ko yung kakayanan ko.
Hanggang sa nakauwi na ako. Since I lived alone, kung ano yung iniwan kong atmosphere sa bahay ganun pa din yung nauwian ko. Down na down yung pakiramdam ko. Kahit gusto kong matulog, hindi ako makatulog. Then nag visit yung pinsan ko.. she wanted us to have dinner together. Pero naramdaman niyo na ba yung feeling na halos hindi ka makakilos sa sobrang lungkot ng pakiramdam mo, ganun yung pakiramdam ko kaya I told her to convince me even more lol.
But intead she took my phone and use random apps in it and saw a newly downloaded film camera app and tried it on me while she tells me some old but golden jokes from our childhood.
Not to mention that I was convinced to have dinner with her. We talked about the thing that's bothering me. I was close to giving up. Then somewhere along our conversation, something came into my mind that hit me; "Ang daming tao lalo na ang mga kabataan na kailangan yung services na kaya kong iprovide. Hindi lang pala talaga pang sarili or para sa magulang ko yung pinag hahandaan ko. Para din pala sa ibang tao to."
And now as I look back, I wouldn't be where I am today If I gave up in the middle of that journey. All I needed was hope. I'm glad I took a leap of it. š Happy Sunday Tumblr! š§”
Ctto for the post in ig
26 August 2024
I suddenly cried for to this post thinking. If i will ever experience this, having too old parents and me at 35, single, no stability, in different country away from parents, no bf, no married and maybe soon maybe ill be menopausal without children.
I always think that am ready to die a maiden,
I am able to handle myself whatever happens but with these always hit me with so much craving of will i ever be experiencing of giving my parents a grandchildren from me.
Will i ever be walked down in the aisle by my parents.
So much uncertainty with my life and everything is volatile.
I have amazing parents, theyre not perfect but i am disappointed that i cant give anything in this world that they deserve.
Finifugal - an end
My heart has been filled with resentment for the last few years over the unfulfilled apologies I had hoped for. That may be the cause of my depression. I am defending myself against allegations that I caused the separation of a couple who were supposedly married. In fact, they had been separated for more than six months before I was involved. Moreover, there was another girl who was linked to him before me.
She created a fictitious Instagram account and stalked me. I discovered this by checking who was viewing my stories. I reached out to her to understand how she felt. However, the situation took a turn for the worse. At the time, she was dating someone else, and together they repeatedly stalked my account and made false accusations.
At first, I tried to ignore it, but it escalated to the point where they judged my appearance and made comments about my current relationship, which was unacceptable. She became even more furious when I posted about my relationship on Instagram. Using the fake account, she posted a story questioning why there was a need to make our relationship public.
This is my Instagram account, and I had already been posting about my relationship before she ever said anything about sharing it.
I was not comfortable with the situation because I had been cheated on in my previous relationship, but I never treated them the way she treated me. I was not part of their relationship and had never been involved in their separation, yet I was dragged into their issues.
I later discovered that my photo was being circulated in their group chat, accompanied by unreasonable and offensive comments about me. I stood up for myself, and more people became involved. Some of my friends sent me screenshots of a discussion on a post where she and her colleague labeled me as āthe immature girl.ā
That was not the worst of it. Her siblings began messaging me, saying they would file a case against me. Although she is currently outside the country, they claimed that I was the reason for their argument. They used words like āgagoā and āpapansin.ā Those words deeply hurt someone who is still healing from a toxic relationship and trying to fix herself.
She also sent a message to my partnerās mother, claiming that her entire family was upset with me.
I developed anxiety and depression. A month after our last dispute, I found out that I was three weeks pregnant, and I burst into tears. After that, I stopped defending myself and blocked everyone who was causing me pain. I did not want to lose my child because of these circumstances.
I prayed to God to save me, and He answered my prayer with a child. From that moment on, I knew this child was the answer.
I know there is a purpose in why God placed me in this situationāvulnerable and lost, yet searching for peace of mind. I noticed myself becoming stronger with each step of that search. I believe I found the cure, but I failed to recognize it as the cure I was looking for. It was there in front of me, waiting for acknowledgment and acceptance.
I realize that I didn't actually need her apology nor to give her my forgiveness. It was acceptance that at some point of life we will meet people who will turn our life upside down. Life will continue each day until our last breath. Some people will move on, while others won't. It was now our decision to either be in vain or start anew. I know that all wounds heal with time, so I won't mind if we make amendsĀ in the future. I move on, and so does life. Right now, my priorities are my growing family.
I see so much opportunities this time when I am single so I think I am still not ready to be in a relationship. I am really just enjoying my life and fixing my relationship with myself first.Ā
Here's to more growth and maturity during this season of my life. Thank You Lord for this blessing and for instilling my heart this realization.
Be okey with being alone and then when you know that you filled yourself with self love, that is the time that you will enter in a relationship again.Ā
Love lots, Aš
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2022 Highlights and Message
My life is like a movie. I know that I will be telling a different story very soon. A story filled with success and inspiration about how I overcame every battle and still came out on reaching my dreams.
Happy New Year everyone. 2023 is fast approaching. Thank You Lord for this year 2022. I am so thankful Lord for the gift of life and the gift to serve my dear patients. Thank You Lord for reminding me that this is the life that Iāve prayed for when I was in college. Let me enjoy this season by serving other people through my chosen career path. Lord please use my hand to alleviate the pain of people in their oral cavity, restore their smiles and help them to build their self-esteem through dental treatments that I can offer. Thank You Lord for letting me see the world in my naked eyes. The world is such a beautiful place to experience and I want to create so many memories all over the world.
Meanwhile, Iāve read this post while I was just scrolling in my facebook newsfeed. I think this is Godās message of affirmation to everyone, I would like to share this to you my dear readers: āGod is so good to give us new days and years, since He knows we need so many times to start overā. Ā Indeed, we all need a fresh start and a new beginning.
Dear readers, let us TRUST the Lord in the next chapter of our life. Turn the page and donāt ever look back in the bad chapter. Always remember that the PAST DOESNāT DEFINE OUR FUTURE. Itās just like driving a four wheel vehicle: Kapag papunta sa lugar na pupuntahan natin, ang driver ay dapat sa harap nakatingin at hindi sa likuran, kasi kung sa likod nakatingin ang driver, mababangga at maaksidente tayo. Ā Ā Ā Focus in the present and just trust the Lord in our future. There are times that we will look in the rear view mirror of the car while driving but those times are just to remember the lesson that it taught us. We will never reach the destination God wants us if we will keep on going BACKWARDS. Ā
Allow God to write the story of our year 2023. Love yourself more because you cannot share the love if you donāt truly love yourself so I think first love is always the first step. I have so much realizations this year and I have no regrets with all of my experiences and decisions this year 2022
For now, letās look back in my wonderful year of 2022. Iām welcoming 2023 with a grateful heart and just pure intentions. Ā
Dear reader, just click theĀ keep reading link below if you want to continue readingĀ because itās gonna be a loooooooooooooooooong ride.Ā Haha!
QuaranTHINGS
These past few days have been a tough battle for me. Struggling to find ways to make quarantine day spend in much more valuable things, but I end up spending my time on social media and I know that is not healthy.
So I decided to take a break just for one day with all my social networking sites just for me to cleanse myself from all the negativity, pressure, and expectations that brought by the external forces. I know to myself that it will not enough to find what things that make my heart confused and my mind to think that what Iām doing right now is not enough.
I started that day on a simple prayer which before I got my job, prayer was my best friend. It gives me comfort knowing that in everything that I do, it gives honor to the Lord. To tell you all, I donāt know whatās the next thing to do, I just did my usual routine which is to clean the house and take care of my nephew. Probably, I spent my whole day watching videos about this famous girl, who eventually free herself to her true identity. Many people said that she just ruined her career because she changed herself, some said that she is indeed a good person because she exchanged her fame to free herself from the person sheās not happy.
Then I realized that money canāt buy us the happiness we wanted, though some people would not agree with this because they find their happiness through buying things. Well, all of us want money, and if only this money can use to make us our lives easier we should be starting to strive hard for our good, as long as it considered respectful and Ā we are not stepping on othersā happiness through the things we do, our happiness is valid.
Another thing I discover with myself in doing this cleansing is my passion to push through with free education and access to basic health. I watched these several documentaries that tackle the poor system of education most especially in the rural areas. It gives me a vision of whatās the reality for these children who cannot access the basic needs which are education and health.
The situation that they were in can be able to change once they have the proper education and if their family has given enough equal opportunity to have decent work, but then, their only source of income is only come on what nature gives them and itās really sad and heartbreaking. Most of these children were forced to leave the school just so they can help their parents to make for their living, some need to leave the school because of their sick parents, even though they wanted to push through with their education it was being held back because of the poverty and probably lack of child support.
During this quarantine, I had realized my opportunities and how lucky I am because I had the proper education to pursue my dreams and was able to have a decent job, I have a roof to shelter us during this pandemic. I can be able to access pharmacy and hospital when I feel sick, I can have the best doctors to help me heal with all these pains Iām feeling.
I know that these past days have been a roller coaster ride to me, my emotion has not been stable, and I realized that it is okay to feel those emotions, because I am human and human is changing. I just need to constantly remind myself that expectations, negativity, and pressure that comes from the society are always there but the only thing we need to keep in ourselves that we are surviving, and as long as we live for another day we can do better things, we can push through to our passion, to what things we believe in and to free ourselves on the things that stop us from striving to make ourselves better.
If we could only teach people to be grateful for the things we have and be more responsible for the things we are taking for granted, we could be able to make this world easier and forgiving.