#lifeofamonkeybum

He heard Deke rustling around in his backpack, eventually handing him a steel vacuum sealed bottle.

“Here, drink this,” he said. “You’ll feel better.”

Fitz gave him a quizzical look. “Is that…? Do you just carry some with you everywhere?”

“Well, you never know when you’ll need a pick-me-up.”

Reluctantly, Fitz took a small swig, grimacing at the taste and reminding himself to later introduce Deke to a stronger variety of alcoholic beverages.

They sat in silence for a bit, and then it wasn’t long before Fitz felt a light bump against his arm from Deke and he knew he couldn’t stay quiet forever. Fitz pressed his lips into a firm line, shaking his head. “She already has a ring,” he explained, handing Deke back the bottle. “One that she wore for an entire year before she found me, one that I… well not me, but… a version of me put on her finger as a promise to be with her forever. And then that me broke that bloody promise, so that ring is all she has left.”

“Hey, that’s not true.” With the ice cream finally finished off, Deke leaned in closer to Fitz, his voice a mix of encouragement and sympathy. “Sure, there was another version of you that lived through that time with her. But it’s not like that was a completely different version of you. You’re still here.” When Fitz didn’t respond, his eyes still staring at his lap, Deke poked him in his arm again. “Come on, you still planned to propose to her once you woke up in the future, right?”

“Yeah, of course,” Fitz said instantly, looking up.  

“See,” Deke emphasized. “You’re still you, still the person she wants to marry. And she doesn’t have to let go of that ring if she doesn’t want to.”

Pulling in his lips, Fitz nodded. He knew Jemma kept their original rings in a box buried in her things. When they got back to the Lighthouse, she used to wear them on a simple chain to keep them close, but after a few days since his return—bittersweet days filled with physical comfort and quiet conversations in their bunk more than anything else—the rings disappeared from around her neck. Not wanting to question her or bring up more painful memories as she finally settled into her feelings of relief from having him home, he found them again one early morning at the bottom of a drawer, choosing never to mention it unless she brought it up herself.

“But you can still give her something that’s from you,” Deke went on. “Something that… that doesn’t have to remind her of what happened.” His expression shifted, his eyes becoming brighter than before. “The you from that timeline didn’t even pick out that ring. I did. It was all last minute, could have been a total disaster, really. And sure, that ring is always gonna be special to her in a way, but this one is gonna be even better because you picked it out.”

Through a sigh, Fitz gave him a single nod. He couldn’t help but agree. At least this time around, he had the luxury of planning it all out himself, wanting to wait for just the right moment to ask her.

“I’m just here for moral support,” Deke added with a shrug, placing his hand on Fitz’s shoulder. “And to make sure you don’t go crazy over budget. Or choose the same one as last time. But I guess that’s impossible because apparently there are like a million to choose from.”

Fitz raised his eyebrows.

“I did a little research,” Deke explained. “Rings are expensive.”

“Yeah,” Fitz replied through a laugh. “Which is why I gotta make sure I pick the right one.”

At this, Deke’s expression grew more serious. “She’s gonna love it no matter what.”

Swallowing hard, Fitz sat in silence as he took in his new friend’s words. Deke may not be right about a lot of things, but there was no denying that he was right on this occasion.

Before Fitz could overthink the entire plan a second longer, Deke slung his backpack over his shoulder and near dragged Fitz across the road to the jewelry shop. The tiny bell that rang as they opened the front door alerted the shopkeeper, who looked up with hopeful eyes and a wide smile.

“How can I help you two gentlemen?” she asked.

“I’m looking to…” The words caught in Fitz’s throat, and as he hesitated for a few seconds, he turned to Deke, who nodded at him encouragingly. Clearing his throat, Fitz looked back to the shopkeeper. “I’m here to purchase a ring. I’m proposing to my girlfriend.”

Her face lit up at his words as she gestured toward the counter on the far wall. “Ah, right this way, then.”

As they approached the glass case, Fitz’s eyes widened, his previous nerves returning to his stomach, but for an entirely different reason. Despite the small size of the shop and the town itself, the jewelry case was chock-full of sparking pieces, each one more intricate and beautiful than the last.

“You were right,” Fitz said, lightly patting Deke’s arm. “There are a million to choose from.”

“Are you looking for one in particular, a certain style perhaps?” the woman asked.

Fitz opened his mouth to answer, but he couldn’t think of a response. This entire time pondering whether he should even pick out a new ring in the first place, he’d never stopped to consider how difficult it would be to actually choose one out of so many.

Deke seemed to notice his dilemma, so he leaned slightly over the counter and whispered, “Could we just browse on our own for a little while?”

The woman gave them a soft smile. “Take your time. I’ll be here if you have any questions.”

“Thank you,” Fitz told her.

Returning his eyes to the case, he spent a solid ten minutes taking in all of the choices of rings. He didn’t realize there could be so many different styles, settings, and colors – no wonder it was difficult for Jemma to make any sort of fashion decision when there were so many options. And this wasn’t going to be a simple piece like a dress she would eventually outwear or a necklace that could easily be replaced. It needed to stand the test of time.

“Well,” Deke said after a while, “what do you think? Anything catch your eye?”

“I’ll be honest, I don’t know much about jewelry.” Through his search, he’d eliminated quite a few choices straightaway before coming across a few rings he thought looked nice, especially one in particular near the back that seemed to somehow sparkle even brighter than the rest. “What about that one?” he asked Deke, pointing towards it.

Deke nodded. “Yeah, I like it a lot. Plus, admit it or not, but you’ve been staring at it this entire time.”

It was one of the simpler rings in the collection, Fitz knowing some of the flashier options wouldn’t be suitable for Jemma’s tastes. The one in question featured a single square cut stone set in a delicate white gold band. Most of the other rings almost felt like a fantasy—meant for couples looking for something extravagant to go along with their equally extravagant weddings. But he knew Jemma didn’t want any of that, and he wanted the ring she wore for the rest of her life to be something that captured what he loved most about her. Of course, he would always see her as the most brilliant and beautiful person in the universe, but she was so much more than that, and when he thought of them as they were together now, it was always about the simple things. The way a single glance from her across the lab caused his heart to seize even after all this time, the way her hand always seemed to seek out his in any moment they were alone, the way she said ‘I love you’ as if it was the first time the words had ever fallen off her tongue. After the whirlwind that was the last five or so years, plus the agonizing year of being apart, simple was a relief. And so a simple ring seemed like the most fitting choice.

The shopkeeper quietly approached the counter to check in, so Fitz pointed towards the ring underneath the glass.

“Can I see that one there?” he asked.

“Of course.” After pulling the tray of rings out of the case and retrieving the one he sought, she held it up for him. The overhead light brought out its shine even more, and as he held it between his fingers, he knew from that moment on that it would forever live on Jemma’s hand. If she said yes, of course.

“That’s a princess cut diamond,” the woman said. “Beautiful choice. Definitely a classic look.”

“That’s good,” Deke replied, turning to Fitz. “Classic is good, right?”

“Yeah,” he said, his voice just above a whisper. “It’s perfect.”

“Is this the one?” the shopkeeper asked.

With a small smile, he looked up and nodded.

“She’s a lucky girl,” she said.

“Nah,” Fitz said more to himself. “I’m the lucky one.”

~

The little ping signaling the completion of the bio-simulation rang on her computer, but Jemma didn’t stir from her desk chair where she lay sound asleep. It was much later than she normally would have stayed up working in the lab, but Fitz knew she was determined by her latest experiments and wasn’t surprised she had worked herself to the point of exhaustion. As he squeezed himself through the door of the lab, opening it just wide enough to slip through as to not disturb her, a faint smile washed over his face at the sight of her curled up underneath a blanket, her hand still inches away from her keyboard as if she had nodded off mid thought.

It was his blanket, technically. After what had been one of the lowest points in his life—on his own in space and forced to work for some unknown alien species, eventually being separated from Enoch, and then having no way of knowing if he’d ever be reunited with his family again—they’d found each other. Their reunion on Enoch’s ship was a mess of tears and clinging desperately to each other, and in that moment, Enoch had draped the blanket over his shoulders, more for comfort than anything else. Even if Fitz wasn’t sure if his Chronicom friend could feel emotions quite as deeply as humans, he liked to think in some way that Enoch understood their feelings of relief. And Jemma, forever grateful for Enoch’s help in bringing Fitz back to her, had grown attached to the simple blanket ever since.

Once Fitz finally reached her side in the lab, he swept a stray hair out of her face, the simple motion bringing her back, her eyes fluttering open.

“Oh, hi,” she said, squinting her eyes as she readjusted to her surroundings.  

“Hey.”

“What time is it?”

He glanced at her monitor. “Almost midnight.”

She groaned, stretching her arms above her head. “Didn’t realize it was so late.” Through a yawn, she reached for his hand, pulling it into her lap. “Did you have a good time with Deke? I know he’s been itching to spend some time with you, and the fresh air must have been great as well.”

He hummed in response, hiding a small smile. “It was a good day. Found some cool shops, it was nice. How was yours?”

“Promising. Still need to work out a few kinks in the simulation, but hopefully after you and I look at it, it should work itself out.”

“Yeah, we can look at it tomorrow. Ready to call it a night?”

“Definitely.” But as she moved to stand, her foot suddenly caught the corner of her blanket, which resulted in her tumbling forward before catching herself on the edge of her workbench but not before a handful of files fell off the surface and scattered across the floor.

“Whoa, easy there,” Fitz said through a chuckle, catching her by the waist.

“Oh, bloody hell,” Jemma grumbled. Through a huff, she bent over to begin cleaning up the mess.  

Fitz kneeled down to help, trying to follow her system as he recognized the color-coded pages. “Someone needs a real bed,” he teased.

“Mmm. Good idea.”

It only took a moment for them to collect the papers and reorganize them to Jemma’s liking. When they were finished, Jemma stood and hugged the blanket to her chest. “Okay, come on,” she urged Fitz with a yawn, holding out her hand to help him off the floor.  

Hesitating, he didn’t take her hand right away and resisted when she tried to pull him up.

“Fitz?”

Looking down at her feet, he let out a slow exhale.

It was a better moment than any other. They were alone, it was quiet. And here he was—already on one knee. With a wave of butterflies swooping through his stomach, he met her eyes.

“What are you doing?” she asked, raising her brow.

Swallowing the lump forming in his throat, he lifted one shoulder in a half shrug. “What I should have done a lot sooner.”

The realization of what he was about to do seemed to hit her instantaneously, her bright but tired smile morphing into a look of surprise before transforming into one of complete overwhelming emotion.

“Fitz,” she said, her voice thick.  

“I’ve probably thought about this moment…” He shook his head, glancing off to the side as the look on her face made it difficult to hold himself together. “…a thousand times over by now. And every time, I think of something else I want to say, a different time and place to say it.” With a pause, he pulled on her hand and nodded for her to sit, pulling the rolling chair closer so he could rest their hands on her knees. “Because this is it. I don’t get to do this again. I don’t get another second chance.”

She sucked in a breath, her bottom lip trembling as she tilted her head.

“I don’t want to wait anymore. I’ve known for the longest time that I want to be with you forever, and nothing is ever gonna change that. Not space, not time. Not… not even death.”

Jemma’s tears were flowing freely now, and through a sharp exhale, she gripped his hands more firmly in her lap.

“You deserve the world and so much more,” he told her, “so I hope to give you all of me, even if that doesn’t seem enough.”

“It is enough, and you already do.” She reached for him then, pulling him desperately close until his head was in her lap, her own head resting on top of his.

Reveling in the quiet, he took in the feeling of her breaths against his neck, the soft strokes of her fingers through his hair. His knees were starting to ache, and he could feel her limbs growing heavy through her exhaustion, but he could have stayed with her there hours longer—just the two of them holding each other up for as long as they could.

“I love you so much,” she murmured against his skin some time later.

“I love you, too.”

“And I can’t wait to marry you.”

He thought for a second that he’d misheard her, so he slowly lifted his head from her lap to find her eyes, a laugh almost escaping his lips.

“Jemma, I… I haven’t even asked yet.”

At once, her eyes grew wide in horror. “Oh, no, no, no. I’m so sorry. I just ruined it, didn’t I?”

“No, never,” he assured her, squeezing her knee. “But now that I have your full attention…” Keeping his gaze on her, he reached into his pocket, finding the small velvet box and holding it between their hands.

“Jemma Anne Simmons…” he said, lifting the top to reveal the treasure within, “will you marry me?”

He held his breath, briefly wondering if she was going to make him wait long for her reply, but he didn’t have to think on it for more than a half second because she was already lurching forward and pressing her lips to his.

“Yes,” she said against his lips, “of course, I will.” When they parted, she pressed more kisses to his cheeks and forehead. “When did you…?” she asked when she eventually pulled back. “You weren’t just exploring the town, were you?”

“No, we made a bit of a detour. What do you think?”  

“It’s perfect.” Her face crumbled again as she took in the ring, sniffing and wiping under her eyes as she watched him remove it carefully from the box. And when he slowly slid it onto her finger and they stared at it together, it was somehow even more exquisite than before. But it wasn’t all that surprising—she always managed to bring light to whatever she touched, and the ring was no exception.

“Alright, Fiancée,” he said, patting her leg before pushing himself up and smiling despite himself as her face lit up upon hearing the word. “Bed. For real this time. Got blanket?”

Through a laugh, she pulled at the cozy throw, previously left forgotten in the back of her chair, and bundled it up in her arms, giving him a firm nod.  “Yes, blanket is secure.”

“Good.” With a slight groan, he hooked his arms under her and then a bit unsteadily lifted her up out of the chair.

“Fitz,” she protested. “I’m tired, but also fully capable of walking. And someone is bound to also be awake at this hour.”

“Come on, it’s a special occasion.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re thinking of the ritual for one’s wedding night.”

“Well, I hardly think we’re traditional.”

After a smile spread across on her face, she thankfully gave in, tucking her head into the crook of his neck as they left the empty lab for the night. Moving slowly down the darkened halls, he thought of how much she’d carried him over the past few weeks, helping him find his way back to her after such a dreadful time apart. Even if he still had a long way to go in lifting her up just as much as she had done since his return, he thought of that moment as a hopeful start.