#lifeinstructionsmissing

This week I received an amazing note that I so eagerly want to share.

I actually haven’t shared this blog with the Facebook masses because I’m feeling a little shy. But, after seeing this note I realize that if it helps anyone make decisions starting from self love and hearing your inner voice over all the noise in our lives (friends, media, family, BFF, BF, GF…), then I have to put my apprehension aside.

Thank you friend for sending me this amazing note. It’s proof that you motivated me more than you can imagine.

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My life coach was an angel and was tremendous help, but I think the best way to describe her to everyone is by calling her a silent assassin. I worked with her for 6 months and one day, it all hit me…it all came together.  

There were many things I learned of myself and grew from.  But there is one session I will never forget.  She concluded from all our sessions that my friends are very important to me; she was right. She asked me to tell her why I thought I was a good friend. 

I proudly said, I am…

Understanding

Committed 

Selfless

I don’t wait for a friends to ask me for help if I know he/she needs it

Supportive

Loyal

etc…

Then she asked if I can identify which of all these attributes I was to myself… BOOM!  SLAP IN THE FACE and A PUNCH STRAIGHT TO MY HEART.

I was speechless which is not like me.  You see, I was none of these things to myself.  It made me feel so sad for myself and so embarrassed.  It truly felt like someone just tossed a big cold bucket of water on me. 

From that moment on she asked me to think of myself as if I were divided into two entities; me the person I know and me the person who I need to befriend. She asked me to name this person, and to be a good friend to her.

Without realizing it a personal criteria which I live by was born.

Is this good for me? 

If the answer is No, then I cannot allow it near me.  

Is treating myself to this new dress good for me?

Is going on a long walk good for me?

Is this slice of pizza good for me?

Will I benefit from not working-out or quitting?

The decision to lose weight is a life changing experience. Actually doing the things to lose weight is a result of a decision or  the criteria we use to be successful.

Even if all you have to lose are 5 or 10 lbs., remember that weight was probably gained from poor decisions we made.

Today is the first day for most of us. I would even say for all of us.

For example, today is the first day I write a blog post. I don’t have any formal training. I don’t really follow other bloggers. But today is the beginning of my life as a ‘blogger.’ 

Come to think of it, I’ve had many beginnings and as I think of it some more, I realize these are beginnings because I made them that way.  The only beginning I have that was brought on to me was my birth (duh!) and the first day of every school year.

Beginnings are supposed to feel amazing. Well, I think people say that because that’s the expected emotion.  But I often found that beginnings are scary and if you’re a structured person like myself, then you feel 150% like a fish out of water (you can’t breathe), because the unknown is killing you.

But when you remember what motivated you to start that beginning at that particular moment, you realize there is a hidden little person in you that is excited for this start.  She (in my case since I’m a chick) is jumping on one leg and daydreaming 100 dreams per second.

Today, I was motivated by the simple fact that I want to be happy doing something that makes me happy. I’m happiest when I connect with people. I am happiest when I help others and I’m happiest when I create and feel accomplished and successful at what I aim for.

Lately I haven’t felt any of that – not even remotely close.  I have been second-guessing myself, walking on eggshells and not being myself with anyone new I encounter.  I also realize that I perform to the best of my ability when I feel I’m among friends. I’m not a transactional person.