Good-bye
Waking up, Emi found herself in Shota’s arms. It felt nice to have someone embrace her as he did. Out of the five love languages, touch was one of her top two. The other one was quality time. Words of affirmation felt nice, but people could say anything that they didn’t even mean. There was a saying, ‘sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.’ That was a lie — a big, fat one. Words fucking hurt and Emi couldn’t deal with the idea of putting her trust into a relationship that meant nothing to the other person. From what she could tell, it sounded like Shota was sincere when they last spoke. Plus why did he come back here to embrace her in his arms? It was difficult for her to imagine that even though Shota said all of those things, he had his doubts.
“You’re awake. I wanted to be awake myself for when you woke up, but you saw how that turned out.” Giving a light chuckle, he caressed Emi’s cheek. “I’m sorry that you had a rough morning. I promise that I won’t ever do that to you again. I will be one hundred percent real with you even though that will be extremely difficult for me. I want you in my life, Emi.”
Tears started to form in Emi’s eyes. Boy, did she cry too much especially around Shota.
Trying to make light of what just happened, Shota gave a short laugh. “Emi, we’ll have to make sure that you won’t be crying after we figure out how to help you cope with your depression. All I want for you is to be happy. Which I’m sure you want for yourself as well. Please, Emi. I need you in my life.”
Processing everything through, she tried to decide whether or not this was best for her. She would hate to hurt Shota or Eri, but would that even happen if everything went well?
FIVE MONTHS LATER
Recently, Emi had left her job at Ketsubustu Academy. She wanted to finish another year out with her students; Shota and Emi determined that it would be best for her to focus on herself before she started helping other people with their problems. When she broke the news to her students were devastated to see her leave, but they were all very understanding. No one knew that she was struggling with her mental health at Ketsubustu except for her principal, but the staff and workers were all super supportive.
In March, she had moved in with Shota after the school year had finished. Which meant she had to give up her apartment. It was a hard day to say goodbye to the school and the place she had been living during her time teaching there. That day, Shota, Hizashi, and Nezumi all came to help her move into Shota’s apartment. Eri wanted to help, but there wasn’t much she could do except take care of the cat. It was bizarre to think that Shota didn’t have a cat especially knowing he was a hardcore cat person. Emi solved that problem since Shota agreed to let her cat stay with them.
A month later, she was doing better mentally since she didn’t have anything to worry about except for hero duties specifically. She made it clear to everyone that she had to do something with her time now that she wasn’t teaching. Otherwise, she spent most of her free time working out, hanging out with Shota and Eri mostly, Hizashi, or Nezumi. She tried dabbling in writing, knitting, and sewing, but it didn’t help her cope with her stress like it uses to back when she was teaching. Emi made it clear to everyone that if they wanted to go out and try something new or there was a specific thing they enjoyed doing, she wanted to come and try it out. She was desperate to find any way to help her cope with her emotions.
Never having a serious relationship, it was challenging for Shota to make himself so vulnerable for Emi. Of course, she vulnerable for him as well, but the only people he had allowed himself to be open with was Hizashi, his brother, Seiji, or his parents. It was painful to watch his brother and himself drift apart because they lived utterly different lifestyles from each other. Seiji worked for the Japanese government as a lawyer which meant very long hours. After graduating from UA, Shota didn’t spend a great deal of time with his parents. Instead, he wanted to become independent than being dependent on his parents. Occasionally, his parents or brother would message him to check up on how he was doing especially since Shota was horrible at contacting people. When Hizashi and Shota moved in together after a few years of living the hero life, Shota’s family was thrilled. They approved of Hizashi the day they met him and to have him now in their son’s life made life easier for them. It meant that Shouta would have to contact his family more often. Otherwise, he would be hearing about how Hizashi was apart of the family more than he was.
After the attack on UA and the downfall of Symbol of Peace, Hizashi and Shota moved onto the campus to assure the safety of the students. It now meant that they had separate apartments for themselves. Shota’s living quarters were in apartment 1-A, and Hizashi lived in the staff apartments. At first, it was odd to be living separately from each other, but they grew used to the new living situations. It wasn’t too soon after they had moved in that Shota had taken Eri in.
When Shota and Emi were deciding whether or not she should continue working at Ketsubustu, Shota came to Nezu to see what his opinion of having Emi move in with him. Plus it thought it might be possible for Emi to work behind the scenes of UA.
Getting up from his office, Shota searched his apartment to find Emi. She was in the kitchen making something as usual. After moving in, it was usual to find her at work in the kitchen making something up for Eri and Shota to enjoy. “Emi, Nezu would like to meet with you whenever you’re available.”
Still attending to whatever she was making, Emi replied, “Do you know what it’s about?”
“No.”
Chuckling to herself, Emi made light of the situation. “Shoot. Guess he found out about the secret life I’ve been living.”
Scoffing at her little joke, Aizawa blunted out, “Yet, the whole staff of UA knows you’re living here...what a secret life.” He wasn’t having it with her nonsense, so he walked back into his office to correct papers and do the rest of his work.
Taking a deep sigh, Emi quickly finished up cooking up what she was making for lunch. “Emi, you always screw it up. You’re going to push him away one of these days.” Since they first started their relationship, Shota shared with her that their relationship wasn’t going to be like how it was that one day she spent the night over at his place. He was going to give it his all to support her and their relationship, but he had to dedicate a lot of his time to his students, his school work, hero work, and helping the country of Japan solve the case behind All-for-One. There would have been plenty of times she would have busted into his office pestering him with jokes or to spend time with her in general. However, her depression ate all her confidence to approach him when he was busy. She didn’t want to seem needy or dependent, but the more she pushed herself away from Shota, the sooner he’d come to assure her of her self worth. It wasn’t long before Hizashi, Nemuri, and Eri found out about her depression. They were all very supportive of her, and she bonded with Eri like Shota said they would. When Eri first heard that Emi struggled with a mental health condition like she was, she was speechless. That was the day that Emi taught Eri that no matter who the person was, anyone could struggle with any mental, or physical condition even if you couldn’t see it.
Bringing herself back to reality, Emi finished preparing the curry and rice she was making. “Shota! Eri! I’m going to set the table for you! I’ll be back after I get done talking to Nezu!” Waiting for a reply, Emi set the table for them like she said she would. There was nothing said back for at least five minutes before Emi decided to walk out the door. As she walked out, Emi messaged Shota that supper was out on the table ready for him and Eri and that she would be back after she talked to Nezu. Even though she messaged him, she felt remorseful about not letting Shota know that she was leaving by dropping by his office. Her heart told her that it would be better if she left him alone, you bother him enough already with your jokes and personality.
As Emi got closer to the school, she checked her phone for any messages or at least a reply from Shota. Nothing. Was she that annoying to Shota that he chose to ignore her repeatedly? No, he probably didn’t hear her when she yelled was ready, and he was so busy that he hadn’t checked his phone. That’s it. It had to be. Even though it was hard to convince herself that was what happened, she couldn’t handle the thoughts in her head that told her the opposite of that.
“Hello, Emi! What are you doing over here?”
Lost in thought, Emi continued making her way to the school.
“Wait, Emi! I want to talk to you!”
Snapping back to attention, Emi examined her surroundings.
“Down here, Emi!”
“Oh! I’m so sorry, Nezu!”
“Seems like I caught you at a bad time.”
Waving her hands, she tried her best to gesture; it was not a problem. “Actually, I was looking for you. It seems I just got lost in my thoughts…”
Giving Emi a warm smile, Nezu continued walking to wherever it was that he was going. “Walk with me, Emi.”
Startled, Emi jogged to catch up Nezu. “So...Shota said you wanted to talk with me.”
“About that, we’ll talk about it once we’re behind closed doors. Let’s talk about you though. How have you been doing with your transition?” Nezu kept his stare forward as they continued walking.
Lost for words...Emi had various thoughts swirling through her head at the same time. Why would Nezu like to know how she was doing? Did he know about her depression? Maybe that’s the reason; he had let her moved in with Shota. “I’m doing okay.”
“It’s okay. To be honest, Emi. Not every day is going to be a good one. Anyway, how has your transition been? Shota hasn’t said too much about the two of you except that you’d be moving in with him which meant that everyone would see you more often.”
“Oh, it’s been fine.” Watching her surroundings, Emi noticed that they were walking toward the apartments for the staff members.
“Looks like we’re here.” Opening the door with his keycard, he held the door open for Emi. “My apartment is the first door on the left.” The two of them continued making their way through the apartment when they finally made it to Nezu’s door. Opening the door with his key, he headed for the kitchen. “Would you like any tea, Emi?”
“Sure.” Looking around the apartment, Emi gathered that Nezu lived a very simple, but elegant lifestyle when he wasn’t working. Everything was very tidy, but cozy at the same time. Looking around into his living room, she noticed he had a china cabinet full of Japanese dish sets and tea cups.
“You can take two teacups out of that china cabinet you’re looking out. Just set them out on the coffee table and make yourself at home.”
Setting the two cups and dishes accompanying them on the coffee table, Emi sat down on the couch. Once again, she checked her phone to see if she got a reply from Shota yet. Nothing. Looking at the time, she noticed that it had only been thirty minutes since she left the apartment.
Bringing the tea kettle and a pot holder to the coffee table, Nezu poured two cups of tea, taking on for himself and he sat down across from Emi. “Emi, I was sorry to be informed that you have been struggling with depression for a little more than a decade. If there is anything I can do for you, I will be more than happy to do so.”
“Did Shota tell you?”
“Yes, he did. I’m the only one he told on the staff. I’ve learned that Hizashi and Nemuri know about your depression as well, but I haven’t talked to them about it.”
“Oh.”
“I don’t want it to seem that this is the only reason I wanted to talk to you. I had a favor of you to ask.”
“What was that?”
“Would you be interested in doing some undercover hero work?”
“What do you mean undercover?”
“Well, you wouldn’t be going on your regular patrols anymore as Ms. Joke. You’ll be under a new name when you’re out on the job.”
“Like a spy?” Emi could no longer look Nezu in the eye. What was he thinking about putting her undercover when she was struggling with depression and her mental health. She wasn’t sane enough to do the job and to get rid of Ms. Joke was out of the question. It was who she was...
“Typically, that’s what uncover means, yes.”
Gripping her pants to get rid of the pressure of the situation, Emi was unsure on how to decide. “I don’t know. Can I think about it? Or find out as much as I can without deciding officially.”
“You will have a few weeks to decide, but you can’t let anyone know about this.”
Still staring at the floor, Emi’s voice cracked. “I don’t understand. Why me out of all people?”
“You have more experience than a lot of the other heroes on the job. Now that you haven’t been working out on patrol that often in one specific area, it’ll make an easy to have you work undercover for the country of Japan.”
“Wait, what? Did you say the country of Japan wants me working for them as a spy? Won’t my depression turn them away?”
“No, you’re depression shouldn’t affect this. The government will want you to take a psychological exam, and they will make their plans accordingly.”
"Will Ms. Joke still be a thing after I'm done with this?"
"Yes, but Ms. Joke will have to take a break for a while for this job. You'll be living under a new name as I said earlier and we can't have Ms. Joke getting involved primarily because the country of Japan doesn't want anyone to know that a hero is involved in this line of work.
“Am I the only hero doing this?”
“I can’t answer that.”
“I still don’t understand why the country wants me working for them out of everyone else that could.”
“They want a hero with experience and who can transition themselves accordingly to whatever the situation is. I’ve seen you on the job since you’ve moved here and it seems that you don’t let your mental health affect you.”
“No, I don’t have time to think about my life when I’m working out as a hero.”
“See, you’ll be fine. Let me know whenever you have made a decision, and we’ll act accordingly. Remember you can’t let anyone know about this conversation, Emi. Not even Shota.”
Bowing down to acknowledge what Nezu explained to her, she thought about how this would affect her life and relationship if she chooses this path. Getting up from her chair, she waved back at Nezu thanking him for his time and the tea that she didn’t even touch. As she exited the apartment building, she ran back to apartment 1-A. She couldn’t deal with not hearing from Shota. Why hadn’t he messaged her yet? As Emi climbed up the stairs, she got greeted by Hizashi and Nemuri. They were both dressed casually. Nemuri was in a t-shirt, flannel, and jeans, while Hizashi was in a white t-shirt and sweats.
“Yo, Emi! Shota has been looking for you. By the way, that curry you made was to die for!”
“Yeah, he’s been worried about where you’d gone for the last hour or so. He called the two of us wondering if we had seen you. Said he didn’t receive any messages from you either. Then he invited us for supper hoping that you would eventually show up.”
Dumbfounded, Emi was confused about the whole situation. Check her phone; she saw that her message hadn’t sent like she thought it had. “I thought I messaged him, but I guess I didn’t. I’ll go talk to him now.”
Reaching out for Emi’s shoulder, Nemuri tried her best to comfort her. “Emi, are you doing okay? You seem off.”
Brushing Nemuri’s hand off her shoulder, Emi walked toward the apartment doors. “Yeah, I’m fine. I think it would be best for me to go and find Shota since he’s worried about me for the last hour.”
“Yo, Emi. If you ever need anything, don’t be afraid to say something. You’re not going to be a bother. We’re here for you, Emi especially Shota. He’s super worried about you, but that doesn’t mean he’s the only one you can go to.”
Glancing back before she opened the door, Emi saw Nemuri and Hizashi standing exactly where they were when they first greeted her on her way back. “Will do.” Opening the door, she entered to be welcomed by the 2-A students.
Eijiro shouted across the room. “Ms. Joke! What are you doing here? It seems that we’ve seen a lot more of you recently.”
Rolling her eyes, Momo cut in. “Haven’t you heard? Ms. Joke and Mr. Aizawa are dating now. So yeah she would be here more often! It’s all over the news.” Many of the students didn’t know about their relationship and that it started before the end of their first year at UA.
Not knowing that Shota and her were all over the headlines caused a certain tension in her chest, but she wasn't able to think about it for long. Since she got bombarded with questions; Wanting to escape, she sprinted to Shota’s apartment quickly shutting the door behind her.
“Where have you been, Emi? I’ve been looking all over for you.”
“I went to talk to Nezu. I yelled that supper was ready, but it seems that you and Eri didn’t hear me. After I waited for some time, I decided to leave. Originally, I thought you were the one not replying to me, but I guess my message didn’t send.”
Relieved that she didn’t do anything she would regret, Shota intertwined his fingers into her hair. “Emi, you know that you could have come by my office to let me know that you were leaving and that you planned for Eri and me to eat by ourselves. I want you to know that even if you feel like you’re bothering me, you’re not. Yes, I may not spend a lot of time with you or Eri, but I love both of you.”
Nodding her head in agreement, Emi turned her head slightly to look into Shota’s eyes. “I love you, too.”
Wrapping his other arm around her waist, Shota used the hand he had in Emi’s hair to pull her head closer to him. Switching his attention from her eyes to her lips, he bit his lip as he moved in closer to her.
Not having time to put her arms around Shota’s shoulders, she wrapped them around his waist pulling his body closer to hers. As Shota inched himself closer to her face, she pushed herself up to reach his lips by stepping on the tip of her toes. Finally reaching his lips, she pressed her lips firmly against his.
Tenderly returning the kiss, Shota noticed that Emi was standing on her toes. Leaning down as they continued embracing each other, he continued to check to see if Emi’s feet were flat on the ground. Being impatient, he picked her up in reserve piggyback, so they continue kissing each other.
Breaking away slightly, Emi asked, “Shota, what are you doing?”
Walking towards his room, Shota glared into her eyes. “I want you, Emi.” Pressing his lips against her lips to continue their kiss, he opened his bedroom door and only closing it behind him.
Breaking away again, Emi had thoughts running through her head. “Wait, what about Eri? Won’t she hear us?”
Gently dropping her on their bed, Shota took off his shirt. “She left with Mirio after supper.” Necking her as he took off her top, he lustfully said, “God, Emi. I need to have you. ”
Emi didn’t feel like having sex at the moment, but she didn’t want to turn Shota off by saying no. Thinking it through, Emi decided he would appreciate it if she told him that she wasn’t up for it. “Shota, I’m not in the mood tonight. I’m sorry.”
Stopping himself, he stood up still facing Emi.
“I’m so sorry to kill the mood, but I can’t bring myself to do that right now. I promise you that whenever I feel like it tomorrow hopefully, I’ll let you know. Maybe we could start the day with some morning sex.” She gave a wink to Shota.
Raising her chin with his hand, Shota gave her a look of understanding. “Emi, you don’t have to force yourself to do something just because you don’t want to. It’s okay.”
“No, it isn’t. What are you going to do now that I said no?”
“I’ll wait for whenever you’re ready to do it another time. It’s not a big deal. I would rather have you comfortable with the situation.”
Burying her head into her hands, she felt horrible for saying no.
“Emi, it’s better for a couple to both be enthusiastic about having sex together than not to have the enthusiasm unreturned.”
He was right, but Emi still miserable for saying no. “What now?”
Getting on the bed himself, he motioned for Emi to sit beside him by the headrest. Watching her adjust herself on the bed as they sat, he brought up her meeting with Nezu. “So what did you and Nezu talk about?”
Startled, Emi continued to make herself comfortable without looking Shota in the eye. “It was fine. He made me tea, and we talked about my transition and how I was doing. Said he felt horrible that I had to struggle with depression and anxiety.”
Putting his arms around Emi, Shota pulled her towards him. “Well, it sounds like it went well.”
“Yeah, I meant Hizashi and Nemuri on my way back too. It sounds like you guys had a dinner party without me. Bummer, guess I should have curried up!" Laughing at her joke, she felt more like herself than she had in a long time.
"See you found your horrible sense of humor again."
"It was a sacrfrice I had to make for the two of us. Otherwise, we couldn't be living in constant laughter, Shota!"
"Oh my god. Emi, one joke was enough."
"Okay, okay. I'll stop with the blind jokes...since you don't see the point."
"That's it. Goodnight." Getting under the covers and putting his head down on the pillow, he turned the opposite way of Emi.
Checking her phone, she was disappointed to have Shota going to bed already. "It's only 7:45 in the evening."
"You stole the rest of the remaining energy I had for the night to function."
"Oh, well goodnight." Getting up from her bed, she looked around to see if Eri was back. Emi got out her phone to message Mirio that both Emi and Shota went to bed and that he was to call one of them to let them into the apartment. Walking into the bathroom, she got herself undressed to take a shower. Pampering herself, she took her time and to shaved for the pleasure of herself. As she got out, she dried herself and brushed her teeth as she let herself air dry. Suddenly, her phone started ringing. It had to be Mirio. Answering it, she was correct.
"Hey, Ms. Fukukado. I have Eri with me. She said she was tired. I'm sorry to bother you."
"It's fine, Mirio. I told you to call. Plus I haven't gotten into bed yet, so that worked out perfectly. I'll get it from you. Let me get situated first then I'll open the door for you two. Bye." Feeling a bit rushed, she quickly made her way into their bedroom and put on a large t-shirt and shorts. Running to the door, she welcomed Mirio and Eri in.
Rubbing her eyes as she walked in, Eri tiredly said. "Ms. Emi, I'm tired."
Kneeling, Emi smiled at the young girl. "Okay, get yourself ready for bed, and I'll tuck you in. Alright?" Standing back up, she acknowledged Mirio. "Thank you so much, Mirio! You have no idea how much Eri appreciates spending time with you."
"It's no problem. I'll let you get to bed. Goodnight, Ms. Fukukado."
"Goodnight." Closing the door, Emi quickly made her way to Eri's room. "Have you brushed your teeth yet?"
Changing her clothes, Eri replied. "Yes, Ms. Emi. All I have to do is get into my P.J.s."
"Alright, take your time."
It didn't take Eri too long to get into her pajamas and her bed. Tucking Eri in, Emi kissed her on the forehead, said goodnight, and closed the door as she walked out of the room. Grabbing her phone from the bathroom, Emi checked to see if she got any messages before going to bed herself. Nothing. Turning off the light in the bathroom, she was immediately stranded in darkness. Finding her way to Shota's room, she opened the door and closed it behind her as she came in. Looking at her phone, it was now 8:30 PM. It wasn't too bad; maybe she could get Shota to agree to go on a morning job with her in the morning. As she got into the bed, she hugged Shota from behind. Laying there, she could hear his steady breaths as she pressed her head against his back. The longer she listened, the more relax she got from counting his heartbeats. Counting his pulses was like counting sheep to her because every time she tried it, she ended up falling asleep.
