#life issue

When it comes down to me practicing my music, it's a bit of a habit to stop when I mess up and go back a few notes to correct it. (Drives my teacher insane, whoops)

My teacher has me working on the Wohlfahrt book, and there's this one song that's driving me crazy because of the all the weeks I've practiced it, I still haven't got it. Plus I'm not playing at the right tempo (which I'm sure she'll say it's fine since I'm still learning it, but like I said, perfectionist)

They will forget you.

They will reject you.

They have.

Congratulations everyone!

You played me but I scram. (astray)

Prayers I made.

Didn't work out.

Alright!

Talk to me Your Holiness.

Explain. Why?

I fail on this and that and with -

- Everything. Why?

Alright!

Cheers for my bitterness.

Hooray for my distress.

Congratulations people I met! 

You accomplished to ruin a person’s morale and spirit. 

Turned me down.

Didn't even gave me chance to get up.

Turned me down.

Didn't even talk to me and allowed to show what I can.

You made me what I am. (today)

Unnoticed. Unappreciated. Unwanted. Undesirable. Unbearable.

  You made me feel like all of the above. That’s why I cannot be with people. I        cannot be with myself too. 

Now -

Quitting soon.

Well I’ve lost a bit of motivation for the blog already but seeing as how t was all about having a place to vent/voice my troubles then I suppose in some ways its not a bad thing. However, I don’t want to lose the habit already so I’ll make my second post almost a week after my first and as mentioned below, cover one of the four pressing issues of my life entering 2018. I’ll pick one of the lesser ones as I don’t have the motivation (or need) to write a big one atm.

 In that case, I’ll go.......house!

 So, my house is ok. No better. It’s fairly old, a decent size, cheap but a bit tatty. I’ve done a few things to it myself and had a few things done to it professionally. Due to the market and the area it hasn’t changed in value much. However, due to a bit of an inheritance when my dad died in 2009 I bought it on a 60% mortgage so by default there’s a fair bit of equity in the house.

 Recently I’ve started to become a bit unhappy with it. It’s a bit cold at times, the kitchen and bathroom have seen better days and there’s a fairly large utility area going to waste which could be massively improved upon. Due to the large deposit, my mortgage payments are quite low meaning should I want to improve the house I have a decent chance to get some capital by remortgaging and not to a massive financial detriment to myself.

 But do I want to?

 The three scenarios seem to be:

-          Remortgage to raise money tom improve the kitchen and/or bathroom and possibly the utility area.

-          Put up my mortgage payments on a shorter mortgage on a principle of financial responsibility and be mortgage free pre-50.

-          Leave it, be financially comfortable in a house I don’t love but don’t hate.

Now, rather unhelpfully, the “job” and “relationship” bits of the equation come into play here and as I haven’t gone into those details as yet it’s hard to go into a lot of detail for my choice of the options above! Anyway, my current decision (at least I can make one in regards to this bit of the big four!) is the third one. Make the best of the situation to give me flexibility around the other, possibly bigger calls.

 Not the juiciest post, but there’s more interesting stuff to come in the other three!