@liesmth: *transforms into a snake knowing thor loves snakes and will pick them up to admire them and then transforms back into themself and yells* bLEGHHHG IT'S MEE *stabs him*
thor remembers a time when he could step into a crowd or a forest without searching through the sea of faces, human and animal, searching for a lone set of familiar eyes. just one glimpse ⸻ he tells himself that is all he needs. if he could just know that loki is alive, he might rest. for years and years, he has searched, holding onto the thinnest strand of hope, looking for the smallest of signs.
( he is foolish to think that he might be able to recognize loki, if loki does not want him to. to think that he might find a sibling that wishes to be hidden. though he will never acknowledge this, deep down, he knows that loki is no longer somewhere thor can reach. it’s how he has come here ---- a universe that cannot give him back what he has lost, but can at least give him something new to lose. )
there is no point in searching here. the loki he has lost is a universe away, and each day, thor is eaten up a little more by the guilt he holds for leaving his sibling behind. he’s let his guard down, no longer looking into people’s eyes, no longer trying to figure out this one last mystery.
as he has settled into this new life, he hasn’t forgotten that there is a loki alive here. the opposite is true: they consume too many of his thoughts. he decided long ago that there can be no thor without loki, but two thors and one loki, he has no idea what to do with. as he so often does when he cannot figure something out, he puts what he has termed the loki problem ( but that really is the thor problem ) far from his mind.
it has been far too long since he has sought out sigyn’s counsel ⸻ he always grows restless when he is too far from she who has become his only friend in this place. he’s almost resolved to make his way back to vanaheim to try to slow the growth of the black hole of sorrow within him when he happens across a snake. of course he picks it up ; he’s loved the things as long as he can remember, and his loki never quite managed to change his mind about that.
“ you know, ” he starts, holding the snake up in front of his face. “ you remind me of someone i knew a long, long time ago. you see, my ⸻ ”
and then, as if he’s dreaming, the snake slips from his hands. he’s been here before, but his body and his mind cannot connect fast enough for him to react, and loki’s blade has made its home in thor’s side once again. it is almost comforting, and thor hates that this is his first thought.
“ loki, ” he starts, reaching out as if to grab their arm before he remembers that that is a terrible idea ⸻ one almost as bad as forgetting to wince, but thor cannot pretend like loki has caused him any pain greater than what he has created for himself. he barely reacts, only frowns, pulling the dagger from his side and offering it back to them. “ you could have just said hello. ”
there is something eerily familiar in this, in that he & loki can share no history, no blood, no family ⸻ and yet that there is some strand of fate wrapped around them anyways. thor wonders if he will meet his end at loki’s blade, and decides there are worse ways to go.
