It’s been a busy one (relative to my empty life anyway)
I started another yoga challenge to keep that ticking over
I started Jobseekers and subsequently had several panic attacks
I actually went out to a party and saw people I hadn’t seen for ages without getting sick (it was so good, I’m so happy I went)
I saw other friends over the weekend and was just generally more social
I’ve applied to jobs and while its been really difficult to deal with the increase in anxiety, it’s still more manageable than it was this time last year
I’ve been feeling really strange and kind of unreal recently? I’m not sure what it is, but it feels harder to claim I have an identity or something. It’s a weird feeling that I hope is just because I’m coming out of a place of self-hate into a place to forcing myself through the anxiety because I now have just about enough recovery to do that. I don’t know who I am because I’ve been ignoring all the bad feelings rather than focusing on goals for myself. It’s pretty grim.Â