#levyslyrics

Lyrics:

I’m sorry I can’t seem to talk without screaming If I don’t raise my voice I might just break When the conversation’s done I always end up hurting I’m sorry for being the way I am

Now I hurt you before I feel the pain And I walk away when it starts to feel good

Oh but I was there No, you don’t have to know How much I cared My fear might scare you away anyway It’s getting too loud between my ears It’s getting too heavy in my chest Keep that smile as I look away I pray to God you’ll stay that way Without me You’re better off without me

I’m sorry I can’t seem to share a piece of me I don’t even feel whole to start with Broken, used and abused in every turn of the word Calloused right where I broke so easily

Now I hurt you before I feel the pain And I walk away when it starts to feel good

Oh but I was there No, you don’t have to know How much I cared My fear might scare you away anyway It’s getting too loud between my ears It’s getting too heavy in my chest Keep that smile as I look away I pray to God you’ll stay that way Without me You’re better off without me

Before I spread toxic like a wildfire And you get caught in my crossfire I’m keeping you safe away from me I’m keeping you safe away from me Trying to hide the vulnerability Don’t bother explaining misidentity As long as I keep you safe from me I’m keeping you safe away from me

Lyrics

I was on a phone call with my friend when she asked if I was busy writing again and if I’ve made a song about my journey in the last 4 years. I haven’t and did not plan to. The next day, I was playing random songs and this thought keeps bugging me until I gave in. When I finished this song I did not have a title for it. I thought to myself that if I were to put my clerkship experiences it would be “I’m scared but I’m always loving it.” and the rest is history.

I did it again.

Ever met a person who makes you want to love the life back into them so bad? They were left alone by the people they cared about the most at a very young age. They never felt worthy of anything, seem to waste their life away and you just want so badly to give them a reason to exist. That is what this song is about.

This is actually inspired from a perspective of someone who fell in love with a person who acts like a thug and all the bad things combined but actually have so much goodness within.

Loving someone with suicidal tendencies is tough but it is not their fault and all we could do is try our best to love the life back into them.

Mostly the songs I wrote in college

Let’s just say I loved someone once, and it still stays a secret until today. Even he doesn’t know it.

A record 2 years later after the first one, I guess

First demo of our graduation song in nursing school. It’s called Makes Us Who We Are now.

I got pissed off by a mobile network. LOL YES, I write about LITERALLY EVERYTHING

Loving someone in secret again. LOL

Finally accepting that some people we just can’t have LOL

Wrote this after graduating from high school. I had my college plans layed out perfectly. Friends, dorms and living away from home. I got to my dream university. I prayed hard for it every single day. Then I had to get that surgery and study something in college that I never imagined myself doing. I thought I had people and my life figured out, you know.

One of my best friends was obsessed with One Direction. When cable tv was still a thing at home, I would watch the voice, got talent and X factor. I was on the phone with my friend when they came up and she probably overheard then she started screaming like a psycho and that was how I was pulled into their fandom. I liked Zayn first, because of his high notes and then Louis because of his humor and accent and everything about him. Okay, so I hated college but after class, my friend and I would fangirl over them and that was what got me through. The night before our research presentation was my On The Road Again Tour and I did not care. Lol I went to the university straight from the airport and gave the presentation.

This is basically a love song about an imaginary guy.

I had this crush, he was a year lower than me but we were of the same age. I was always late in class but in high school I had a phase where I always got to school early. I needed to getaway from home. What made it even better was Mr. Replay Yesterday was an early bird too. Sometimes there's like only the two of us in the school building and we would just talk. We became close, even became friends with his younger brother.

Throwback to the time when I truly believed time could heal everything. I knew what I wanted and I believed I would be abled to get them. Man, was I so wrong

Wrote this at my grandmother's house where I spend most of my summers growing. It stopped happening when we went to college. I was 14 or 15 when I wrote this. I was so excited to turn 16. You see protagonists in young adult novels are always around 16-20. I had high hopes that time.

Someone who is always there. You know someone I communicate with constantly.

I had a friend. I shared all my dreams and planned my future with them. It turned sour.

This is someone who had so many insecurities. One of my closest friends in grade school but we kind of grew apart.

Another friend of mine who has so much talent and has so much love for her family.

We all have that one friend or more who always go to parties and you know what comes next.

I honestly forgot who this was about. This is about someone who is just there.

About someone who I felt had dealt with the worst things in life. My partner in crime and buddy when it comes to books and boybands.

This is about one of my closest friends. We both had the biggest dreams. She wanted to be a best selling author and I wanted to be an artist selling out arenas on world tour.

About someone who likes to observe people and has a habit of making fun of it but not in an offensive way.

Mind over heart, mind over heart always

Stupid girl, for falling in love with someone so not worth it

Stupid boy, wasting his time waiting for the perfect moment

She said she's never sad but how come we see all her colors fading

Said he'd been hurt before so he doesnt wanna know where this is going

Didn't he see the way she looks at him

like he's christmas lights on New Year's eve

Didnt he know that she thinks of him as constantly as she breathes

She should have listened to them talk (oh oh)

She should have walked out of that door when she still had the chance

She should have let her heart go cold (oh oh)

But her thoughts of him are louder than her sanity

Now she's permanently scarred, scarred, scarred

She's permanently scarred, scarred,scarred

Stupid boy, keeping his hold on her several miles from where he is

Stupid girl, cutting all the strings that would ever draw them closer

But damage has been done, no more point in splitting all ties

By the the time he realized he lost someone who loved him dearly

Didn't he see the boundaries she's willing to cross

giving in to could-have-beens

Didnt he know that all she ever thought of are her memories of him

She should have listened to them talk (oh oh)

She should have walked out of that door when she still had the chance

She should have let her heart go cold (oh oh)

But her thoughts of him are louder than her sanity

Now she's permanently scarred, scarred, scarred

She's permanently scarred, scarred,scarred

She remembers, coffee wasn't as good

as when she's having it with him (having it with him )

Those songs that she thought funny

now mean so much to her because of him (because of him )

But lying comes so easy with denial,

so she said some words she didnt mean (she didnt mean )

When she's finally ready to forget he does something to remind her

She should have listened to them talk

She should have walked out of that door when she still had the chance

She should have wrapped her heart in gold

Before handing it out in case it falls from his arms

Should keep her mind 'bove her heart

She should have chosen her before she let him watch her burn

Once he stops getting her high, it start to hurt

And leave her permanently scarred

She's permanently scarred, scarred, scarred

Permanently scarred, scarred,scarred

This is basically about falling in love at the wrong time. About getting damaged from a relationship that never really existed but could have. Whether it was or not the right kind of love, we’ll never know, I guess.

Here it goes again, the family feeling

Hate how my heart is beating or the direction it's going

The intensity is building

Time is stretching Game over

*I'm the loser who fell first

I knew your game but you got me anyway

I'm the loser who fell first

Everything about you made me want you to stay

I'm down, you won

I'm down

After a time apart I'm scared I might see you again

By then you'd be right and everything falls into place

This feeling never left

And our eyes will do the talking

Checkmate

*You're the loser who fell fast

You had your game but I got you anyway

And I'm the loser who fell first

Everything about you made me want you to stay

You fell, too late

Too late

You should have thought of that

Before walking out on me

Your second,third,fourth chances have come and gone

Done giving my all fighting a losing match

Gonna find someone someday who's a better catch

*I'm no loser who fell first

I knew your game and I'm moving on

I'm the loser ready to fall again

Waiting for someone who is here to stay