#levi reader insert

“No need to worry Captain, I know how the chain of command works around here.” You said as you paused in front of his office, waiting for him to use his key and let you in. He just rolled his eyes, not sure if he was more interested in having this version around or more annoyed. He shook these thoughts off, it was far too late for him to double back on his request for you to become his assistant now. You settled into the chair across from him and began to flip through the paper work that Erwin had just given to you. Levi returned to writing the condolence letters that he had been working on before Erwin had called for the two of you. It was late afternoon, nearly dinner time. Levi usually only got a small portion of food and brought it back to his office to eat. He hadn’t expected you to do the same. But when he dismissed you for dinner you instead offered to bring his meal to him. A bit bashfully, he accepted your offer, and was even more surprised when you came in with two portions and a tray of tea. 

You seemed unbothered with not sitting with your peers, Levi almost tricked himself into believing that you were choosing to spend time with him over the others. But he quickly dismissed those thoughts, knowing that it was most likely the paperwork that was keeping you here. He continued to sneak glances at you through out the evening, waiting for you to ask if you could be dismissed. But you remained silent and focused on the paper work before you. Levi realized that the two of you managed to finish work that usually took him all night to finish, well before midnight. He was unsure of what to do with this free time as he watched you stand and stretch. 

“Same thing tomorrow Captain?” You said with a sleepy smile on your face. Levi’s eyes narrowed and he nodded, waving you off. 

“See you first thing in the morning then.” You said over your shoulder as you left the office, closing his door softly behind you. Levi blinked dumbly after you, he felt so very...confused. He had never felt this flutter in his chest before, or the tightness in his stomach at seeing you leave. Levi stayed awake late into the night, mulling over the way that he had felt when he watched you leave, the excitement that had sparked inside of him at your promise to see him in the morning. 

He even caught himself wondering what it would be like to have you with him all night. Not necessarily in a sexual way, but in a way in which he could see you right before he fell asleep, and again when he first opened his eyes. The thought brought those butterflies back into this stomach, fluttering around in the most annoying way. 

_

The next few days continued in a similar pattern, you kept that same sass, often surprising him with your own crass jokes that rivaled his. It was a particularly sunny Sunday afternoon, the only day that soldiers had off out of the week. He had offered the day off for you but you had refused, and now you were looking like you regretted that decision. Your head was held precariously on the palm of your hand while your other hand flew across the paper as you wrote. Your eyes were closing every now and then, and Levi would pause when they did. Waiting to see if you had finally succumbed to sleep that had been chasing you all day seemingly. 

“What?” You mumbled, eyes still closed, pen hanging limply from your fingers. 

“Hm?” Levi hummed, eyes snapping back down onto his paper in a desperate attempt at looking innocent. 

“Do I have ink on my face or something?” You asked as you set the pen down and rubbed your hands down the sides of your face. 

“No... but you’re no help to me if you keep nodding off. Go take a nap and come back when you’re rested.” Levi said, waving you off, despite how badly he wanted you to stay. 

“Mkay.” You sighed as you opened your eyes just a crack as you stood and grabbed your jacket off of the chair. Levi paused his work to watch you leave, but he was surprised when you only crossed the room and fell limply onto his love seat. He scoffed as you placed the jacket over your face and curled up into a fetal position. Levi tried in vain to refocus, but the sight of you napping made him surprisingly tired as well. He placed his pen down with a loud sigh and leaned back, closing his eyes as he enjoyed the warm sunlight streaming in from his window. 

“Captain, come sit with me.” Your voice was gravely from sleep as you sat up and smiled at him. His heart did a backflip and then ran a mile around his chest at the sight of you in the sun, eyes half open as you looked at him a tad pleadingly. 

“Move over.” He simply replied as he stood from the desk and crossed the room. He leaned down and moved your feet, sitting down where they once were. He sighed contently as he rested his arm over the back of the couch and stretched his legs out underneath the coffee table. He jumped when your feet fell onto his lap, his other hand reached instinctively to swat them off and you whimpered when he did so. 

“Chill out Levi, it’s off the clock.” You mumbled as you sat up and shot him a playful smirk. 

“Go back to sleep idiot.” He said, reaching up and shoving your head back down onto the sofa. You let out a strangled laugh at his actions and he felt his heart do another little flip at the sound. You sat up, hair mussed and eyes still foggy with sleep. 

“Careful Levi, you wouldn’t want to get into another fight with me. We both remember how our last one turned out.” You teased, leaning forward and tapping the tip of his nose with your pointer finger. He scoffed in disbelief as you sat up and leaned back into the couch. He became hyper aware of how close you were now, your hand so close to his thigh that he could feel your pinky brushing the fabric of his pants. 

“You got lucky. Next time I won’t underestimate you.” He said with another dramatic roll of his eyes. 

“Ah so you admit that you would like a rematch?” You asked shuffling closer so your thigh pressed against his. He whipped his head to look away from you and hide his blush. 

“E-Eventually.” He tried to cover his mild stutter by clearing his throat, if you had noticed, you didn’t comment on his flustered state. 

“Just name the time and place, and I’ll be there.” You chuckled scooting away from him much to his disappointment. 

_

After that afternoon Levi found himself almost desperately seeking your presence. Admittedly, he was hogging you, denying Hange from “borrowing” you for experiments, making up embarrassing excuses for you to stay later into the evenings. If you minded, you didn’t say anything. One particular evening Levi found that he had run out of excuses to keep you, and was about to dismiss you when you surprised him. 

“Are you tired?” You asked, rather out of pocket as you leaned back on your heels from scrubbing his floor. 

“Not one bit.” Levi said honestly, he knew that you were aware of his bad sleeping habits. 

“Good, come with me.” You said, dropping the dirty rag in your hands back into the bucket. Levi was eager to follow you out of his office, which smelled of cleaning chemicals and lemons, as always. You led him through the empty corridors and out into the courtyard. You turned and started walking backwards so you could face him as you spoke. 

“Up for a midnight ride?” You asked cheekily, Levi’s brow furrowed but he found the extra alone time with you all too enticing to pass up. 

“I suppose...” He was abruptly cut off by your hand closing around his wrist, you dragged him the rest of the way to the stables. Levi went to get his tack, but you simply grabbed the reigns for your horse, you led the palomino out of her stall, Levi looked at you skeptically as he held his saddle and the blanket. 

“No time for any of that, if we don’t hurry, we’ll miss it.” You said with a charming smile on your lips. Levi found himself foregoing the saddle like you had and just taking his reigns for his black mare. Once the two of you were ready you both spurred your horses into a light trot. Levi shifted uncomfortably, he had never ridden bareback, yet you looked more than natural in the uncomfortable position. You led the way, heading off into the woods behind HQ, the trail was narrow and a tad tedious, but it was a rather short ride. You stopped along the tree line, a wide field sprawling before you. The tall grass was glowing with fireflies, swaying in the summer breeze. A small creek was between the forest and the rest of the field. 

“Shall we cross?” You asked, turning to him to gauge his reaction. He shrugged and shifted once more on his mare’s back. 

“I’ll take that as a yes.” You giggled as you kicked your horse to move forward. Your own mare waded fearlessly into the water, crossing the stream in a few steps. Levi’s own mare was undaunted by the creek, Levi was another story, he pulled his feet up in an attempt to keep them dry as his mare splashed through the water. Once on the other side you dropped off of your horse and tied it to a nearby log. Levi followed your lead and tied up his horse as well. Once that was finished you beckoned for him to follow you once more. You led him through the tall grass, to a small clearing where the grass had been pressed down, clearly someone or something had been laying there. 

“I come out here to think.” You explained as you fell onto your butt and patted the space beside you. The crickets and tree frogs sang in the background and Levi furrowed his brow but eventually sank down to sit next to you. Pleased with this, you laid the rest of the way back and looked up at the night sky. 

“Seems a bit loud to be a thinking place.” Levi quipped as he leaned back on his hands and stretched his legs out. 

“Hm maybe. Truthfully I don’t get much thinking done when I’m here. I just....sit.” You shrugged, eyes distant as you looked up at the stars. 

“I see.” Levi wasn’t sure how to respond, but his head buzzed with thoughts, when did you come out here? Was it because he was overworking you? Why did you bring him out here? You rolled onto your side and reached out, gripping his wrist lightly, bringing his attention off of the sky and on to you. 

“Hm?” He hummed wordlessly as he looked down at you with a raised brow. 

“Lay with me?” You smiled a bit sheepishly and Levi felt his cheeks flare up at the sight of you bathed in moonlight, eyes wide and pleading, your mouth curled up into a knowing smile. He huffed, feigning frustration as he slumped the rest of the way into the grass and crossed his arms behind his head. He laid perfectly still, waiting to see what you would do next, he heard the sound of you shuffling closer, so that your head rested just below his arm, your side pressed against his own. It was clumsy and painfully awkward for a moment, as you waited for Levi to shuffle away or welcome you into his embrace. But he remained deathly still, and you knew that you would have to be the one to initiate the affection, not really a surprising discovery. You inhaled deeply as you steeled your nerves before you scooted up and rested your head on Levi’s bicep. You heard him suck in a deep breath as well. But he extended his arm and wrapped it around your shoulders after a tense moment. The frogs seemed to grow louder as you looked up at him, his head was craned down to look at you. His cheeks were flushed an adorable pink color, his brows furrowed still, his mouth was in a flat line as he looked down at you. 

“What’s with the face?” you whispered, reaching a free hand up to gently tap his bruised nose. 

“What face?” Levi grumbled, grabbing your wrist and holding it tightly in his grasp. You chuckled and opened your hand to rest it on his cheek, thumb grazing the soft skin on his face. 

“That one.” You giggled as you shuffled impossibly closer and leaned up so that your breaths mingled. Levi lifted his chin a bit, he had never kissed someone before, something that he was very self conscious about. But you seemed to take this in stride as you propped yourself up on your elbow, his arm that you had been laying on quickly wrapped around your waist as you leaned over him. The stars disappeared behind your face as you smiled down at him, hair curtaining over him as you leaned in once more. This time he remained still, the warmth of your breath on his lips once more, His eyes abandoned yours in favor of looking at your lips, which were opened slightly as you tilted your head to the side. A soft chuckle escaped you as you hovered over his mouth with yours. 

“I hope...that I’m not crossing any boundaries.” You were so close to him now that when you spoke, your lips grazed his. Levi had never wanted to kiss someone as badly as he wanted to kiss you in this moment. 

“Shut up and-” 

“And what captain? Kiss you?” You teased, and he blushed impossibly harder, you could tell he was flustered based off of the way his cheek burned under your open palm. 

“Yes...” He mumbled after a moment of silence. You let out another airy laugh before leaning down and planting your lips on his. You gently took his bottom lip between your own and he timidly returned the kiss. You sighed at the feeling of his returned affections and Levi was sure that his heart was going to explode as you relaxed into him once more. After a moment you pulled away and smiled dazzlingly at him, the moonlight did wonders for your complexion, casting you in an ethereal glow. He knew now that he needed to see you in the first rays of light to confirm his theory: That no matter what time of day, you always looked impossibly beautiful. 

“What are you thinking about?” You quizzed, leaning down and pecking a kiss to his lips before he could answer. 

“I’m thinking-” another kiss, this time to the corner of his mouth. 

“that it’s-” this time you placed a kiss just below his earlobe. 

“C-Can you stop?” He stuttered as he turned and avoided you planting another kiss behind his ear. 

“Mmm fine.” You pouted, but buried your face into his neck, waiting for him to finish his sentence from earlier. 

“I said: I’m thinking that it’s almost daybreak.” He finished, pointing up at the sky, which was turning pink along the eastern side of the field. You groaned and nuzzled further into his neck. 

“Then let’s ride back and go to sleep. It’s Sunday after all, we can sleep in.” you mumbled, placing an open mouthed kiss to his collar bone. His hand fell back onto your back, he could feel your muscles flex as you rolled the rest of the way on top of him, resting your full weight on his stomach. 

“You’ll need to get off of me for that to happen.” He huffed as his other hand left your wrist to push you playfully off of his stomach. You moaned pitifully as you fell back onto the damp grass. 

“So tragic.” You said as Levi stood and brushed the grass off of his plain clothes. You finally got to your feet and did the same, eager to ride back and go to bed. 

_

The two of you made it back before sunrise, the sky turning pinker by the minute. After you had put your horses away you both hurried back up to his office, where his private quarters was attached. Levi kicked his boots off and you did as well, not wanting to dirty his floor that you both spent so much time cleaning. He lifted the covers for you and you dove beneath them, Levi laid down next to you and you cuddled up close, looking up with those soft eyes of yours. His nose was still purple and had a small bandage covering his cut. You leaned up and planted a gentle kiss to the tip of it before pulling away. 

“Next time I won’t go easy on you.” You teased breath fanning over his lips once more. Levi huffed and angled his head impatiently seeking your mouth. You chuckled and met him halfway, closing your mouth over his with another satisfied sigh. 

In the end, Levi got what he wanted. You fell asleep in his bed, bathed in the morning light, curled into his side as he felt sleep overcoming him. This was the first time that you stayed with him the entirety of the night, and Levi was determined to never spend a night alone again. 

___

PLEASE. I’M SO VERY SOFT FOR LEVI RN. 

  “Y/N-san, oh my god. Wake up, shit,” Reiner begged the woman who he held in his arms. One second his squad leader was flying through the trees, slicing the neck of a 13 meter, the next she was tossed into a tree, rolling through the branches to the hard ground with a thud, blood seeping into the grass from her head. 

Sasha noticed Reiner hunched over a body on the ground, not having seen her leader fall victim to a titan. Her eyes widened at the blood and quickly went to his side. She nearly passed out at the sight of the woman she grew to know as a family. Reiner was frantic, pressing against the back of her head with her cloak, trying to stop the bleeding.

Tears gathered in Sasha’s eyes, despite having seen death before. “She has to be okay.” The young girl whispered, choking back sobs in her throat. She said it mostly to comfort herself, witnessing deaths time and time before just like this one. Hope just seemed so useless nowadays, just mourning.

He held his hand over her nose and felt soft breaths of air. Relief  flooded through him for just a moment as he gathered her close to him. Her crumbling body was limp, and he felt her arm move in an awkward way, definitely broken. He made sure to support that arm, placing it across her stomach.

“She’s dying, we have to get her to the medics, fuck,” Reiner cried, lifting her delicate body carefully in his strong arms. He hugged her head to his chest, and as he did so, it seemed like pints of blood seeped into his clothes and stuck to his skin. He shot off into the air, but Sasha couldn’t move from where she knelt, body almost limp. 

What if she died? What would they do then? Sasha was pretty sure Y/N was the only reason Levi maintained his temper at times. She was the person Hanji ran to tell about her experiments and the commander's only surviving childhood friend in the corps. Sure, Sasha would be hurt losing a leader she grew to trust, but what about the veteran soldiers. It had been years and years since they met, and they got attached. That’s what happens when everyone else dies and it seems like you just have one another to latch onto.

Dread filled her heart as they returned to the carts and gave Y/N over to one of the medics, who pressed something to her head and popped in one of her dislocated limbs. He was so casual, she thought. Anyone would turn that way working with dozens of injured soldiers every mission. The casualty of it all made it all the more depressing, even disturbing. 

“Will-will she be okay?”

“Hell if I know,” the boy confessed. “But we all better hope so.” Even though he failed to explain, both the cadets knew why.

Soldiers began pouring out of the forest on their gear or horses. Some carried the dead, while some carried pride for what they had done. No one paid mind to that particular medic cart. The medic opened her eyes and observed her condition, but that only made Sasha’s heart sink further. She was unresponsive to touch, just a limp body, nearly dead.

Heads turned at the distinct sound of blades falling to the ground. Levi landed beside the cart after seeing the mop of h/c hair lying in the cart. His eyes flashed to Reiner and Sasha for a moment, seeing the blood soaked clothes and tear-stained cheeks. 

For the first time in years, Levi felt his blood run cold in his veins and his heart to stop beating in his chest. Pain stabbed him in the stomach, feelings of throwing up his breakfast arose. He opened his mouth to say something, but his words got caught in his throat. He gasped for air before muttering hopelessly, maybe to himself or the cadets or even the woman herself lying half dead in the carriage.

“Y-Y/N?”

“Captain-”

His voice was weak, full of pain and fear. “Shut up.” No malintent, just a desperate need for silence among the horses trotting along and soldiers rejoicing the fact they made it out alive. He walked over to the cart and climbed in, his normally firm and strong hands shakily hovering over the woman’s cheeks, gently wiping the blood  from her lips and eyes.

For the first time, the cadets witnessed complete and utter fear and helplessness overtake their captain, the emotions of a broken man leaking past his wall of bravery. 

In that moment, Sasha realized that Y/N wasn’t hers to grieve. 

“Y/N, please…” he whimpered, running his fingers down her wet, bloody hair. ‘“M-my princess, please. I need you, please.” 

“Captain, she’s not dead. We just need to get her back to the wall and-”

“Will she live?”

“I’d stake my life on it, Captain Levi. Don’t you worry,” the medic, one who had only really heard of Levi by mouth, lied through his teeth. He was just a trainee. He had no idea what would happen to this woman, but one thing he did know was that in times of need people need comfort, and sometimes white lies can ease the pain.

_________________________________________

Levi and Erwin stood outside the doctor’s office as Y/N sat inside being tended to by a nurse. The doctor shut the door quietly, and joined the two men in the hall. His eyes were solemn and regretful, not wanting to look up at the two incredibly powerful military forces before him. 

“Why was she acting like that? I thought you said she would be healed by now,” Levi grunted, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“The blow to her head severely damaged her limbic system. I’m truly sorry to tell you, but she’s suffering from retrograde amnesia.”

Levi bit back an indecent curse, as Erwin spoke. “So, she can’t remember anything?”

“She still can function normally, but her memories are gone.”

“Everything?” Levi asked shortly, trying to stay calm. He hadn’t expected this after they’d heard of her waking from her coma. He thought that one month without her was long enough, but now it seemed the situation was much, much worse than any of them anticipated. 

“Unfortunately. She does remember a vague sense of the titans and the walls though.”

“What about people? Friends? Family?” Levi anxiously questioned, almost pleading with the doctor to say that she remembered him. Erwin placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and sighed.  The doctor shook his head, and it only buried Levi deeper in his misery. How could she forget everything? 

How was it right that she could forget the years they spent together but he had to live with the memories, all the emotions unreciprocated? It was cruel for fate to do this to him.

Erwin asked finally, “Is there any chance of her regaining her memories?”

“Perhaps. Amnesia, anything involving the brain really, is a tricky matter. My guess is not likely, but there is always a chance.” He sighed and pushed up his glasses. “Would either of you like to sit and talk with her? Being around familiar things can boost memory in patients.”

They walked into the room calmly, and the woman peered up at them, a small smile gracing her lips. Levi felt his heart jump to his throat, and he had to swallow down his feelings. She was rightfully so the most beautiful human being to ever walk within the walls. Her smile, seeing it for the first time in so long, it made him so happy. If only this was a happy scene, though.

"Ah! Finally some visitors. All I've seen is nurses and doctors for the past what? Five hours?"

“”Hello, miss Y/N. I am Erwin Smith, the commander of the Survey Corps as well as your long time friend.”

“Really? How did I manage to be friends with someone so distinguished?” she laughed, but in all seriousness, she didn’t know. “They told me I was a great soldier, is that true? If anyone would know, it’d be you.”

“Great soldier, but might I say, greater friend.”

Her cheeks turned just the slightest bit of pink at the compliment. She smiled at her blankets. “Thanks. Hopefully I get to meet more of my old friends soon. Seems to me like I was quite popular.” Erwin nodded, moving to sit down in the chair beside her bed, revealing Levi behind him. The man was quiet, his eyes dancing around the room without meeting her gaze. “I’m guessing you’re a friend too-”

“Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

“Levi-” Erwin started, but Y/n cut him off.

“They told me about you, Levi! Humanity’s strongest soldier, even better than me,” she laughed, sending him a playful wink. He winced at the sight of her smiling at him, her cheeks just a bit red from happiness. When she winked, he thought he might drop dead right there. Her beautiful eyes, the sparkle that they always held; he wanted them to be his again. “The nurse said you would visit me every morning and night while I was in the coma.”

“Yeah. Do...do you remember anything else about me?”

“Not right now, but the doc says I can get them back at any time.” Always so positive. If only he could think like that too.

The shorter man took a seat at the edge of her bed, staring down at the ring around his finger, twisting it back and forth. The gold was dull by now, he hadn’t polished it in a few months. Her eyes caught sight of the ring and she held back her questions about it.

“So, your name is Levi…”

“Ackerman.”

“Hmm, I see. And we were good friends?”

“Partners.”

She raised a brow, turning her head to Erwin, who nodded to assure she was assuming the right thing. He was certainly a handsome man, but she couldn’t see how someone so bubbly as her could be with someone so serious and quiet. He didn’t even want to make eye contact with her.

Y/N leaned over the edge of the bed to grab a small drawstring bag. “The doctor put all my belongings in this bag. Let me just..” Her swift fingers rummaged around for a few seconds before they enclosed a small, smooth piece of metal. “I’m guessing this is from you, huh?” she asked, pulling the sparkly ring from the bag. 

They had her look through her bag earlier to see if it would spark any memories, to no avail. Yet, she remained curious about the ring. 

“It’s very beautiful, thank you for giving it to me. Do you want it back while I’m-”

“No. Please,” he paused, taking a deep breath. He found himself pleading a lot more than usual these days. It was just sad. “Can you just wear it?”

She slipped the ring on her finger without hesitation. “Of course. I’m sure I loved you very much before the accident, Levi.”

Loved. That’s right. She didn’t love him anymore. She didn’t even know him. 

“Were we married?”

“Practically, but there’s no time for a wedding with our work schedules.”

“I see. Well, it’s nice to meet you again. Hopefully we can become close again soon.”

He frowned, nodding towards the ground. How could fate be this cruel to him? He stood up from the bed and left the room before anyone could stop him. This whole thing, seeing her, it was too much for him. He didn’t want to see her the way she was, and it broke his heart.

That day marked the single worst moment for Levi, above all else. Losing the love of his life.

___________________________________________

Five months later, and a lot of shit happened. But of course, Y/N still couldn't remember anything. He couldn’t do a thing but sit around bitterly, knowing that his lover was lost to him. Others tried to tell him to build their relationship again, but what was the point in that? Their love was built on circumstance: on the wall breaking, on the missions they protected each other, on the nights they spent talking about everything and nothing by the stables.They could never get that back, the same love she once had for him was gone.

He spoke to her, but he didn’t go out of his way to find her, to speak to her. He would rather keep to himself, and if that made him come across as harsh and cruel, then so be it.

He still felt the urge to protect her, the need to maintain what they once had, how he felt for her. He still protected her as if his life depended on it, and he would walk to the ends of the Earth before he saw her die. Yet, he couldn’t be sociable and comfortable like before.

That morning he woke up as usual, got dressed, went about his day, headed to the dining hall for dinner, and ate in silence if not for curses under his breath as he watched the love of his life talk it up with Erwin and Hanji, laughing and smiling as if he wasn’t right there. He knew Hanji could sense his eyes trailing to them with every sip of his tea, and she sent him a sympathetic look. 

The woman felt for her friend and comrade. For 6 years, she witnessed the pair fall in love despite trauma and differences they had. She was there countless times to see Levi lay his life on the line for her, and Y/N do the same for him. There was a change in Levi from the moment those two became friends to the very last day they had together. It made her sad. Love didn’t feel real without these two being there for each other.

Erwin wasn’t as adept, but he saw the pain in humanity’s greatest soldier. He loved Y/N, having known her since they attended training together. He was amazed she lived this long as well, having lost so many soldiers and friends along the way. She was different now. Lost in her own mind half the time, and unreliable on missions. 

But they had to keep waiting. Doctors, the best the walls had to offer, told them the chance of her memories coming back to her were close to zero, but not quite. If there was even a chance their friend would remember them some day, it wasn’t worth abandoning hope.

“Y/N, I totally forgot to tell you. You and Levi need to go check the horses. I think I left the stable door open, I’m not sure, haha,” Hanji rushed to say, wiggling her brows at Levi. She pushed Y/N out of her seat and stacked her plates for her to take to the dishwashers. “Sorry, but it’s just got to be checked.”

“Why does Levi have to-”

“Because you shouldn’t go out at night alone, obviously,” she explained, but stupidly. A soldier couldn’t go out on their own base alone. Y/N nodded obediently, but she really didn’t want to go, especially with him. She twisted the ring on her finger absentmindedly as her friend rushed her to exit the dining hall. Levi followed, but not without sending a twisted glare at the squad leader.

Y/N kept ahead of him, walking briskly as to get the job done quickly. Levi already knew she wasn’t happy going with him and that she generally disliked him. 

It wasn’t until they got to the stables and saw that the gates were in fact closed, locked up, and all the horses were as they should be. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me? She sent us out here for what? Her own amusement?” Y/N said, her voice raising just a bit. She was angry, just enough to put a lump in Levi’s stomach. Before the accident, she never got angry with him, or anyone else. She was just happy to contribute to the cause and help anyone she could, even if the task was as trivial as checking the stables. Y/N would have been happy to take a walk outside at night with Levi. 

In fact, they stood in the same spot they would hang out at night under the stars time and time again. He stared at her now, and wished to god that he could go back in time to when she would cuddle and kiss him under the moon and the stars here. He wanted her to tell him silly stories about her day, and then lean over and pepper kisses to his neck and his cheeks and his nose and call him her baby.

But instead, she hated him for everything he was worth.

“Y/N, Hanji didn’t-”

“Oh, would you just shut up?” she rolled her eyes over to him, her fists clenched at her sides. “You’re literally my only problem right now, You, my supposed lover. Everyone tells me stories about how you loved me, how we fell in love even, yet you treat me like absolute horse shit.”

“Would you just-”

“Would I just what? Continue to pretend you’re not an absolute asshole? You ignore me, you avoid me, you tell people that you miss me, yet you won’t even bother to make an effort? How can someone who loved me so much act this way?” the woman yelled furiously, glaring at him. The sparkle in her eyes vanished the longer she spoke, the longer she was with him.

He grit his teeth for a second trying to keep himself under control, but he couldn’t stand it anymore. “You are the one that’s ruined my life, don’t even try to act like your life is so hard.”

“How dare-”

“In case you didn’t know, you are the only thing I have left. I’ve lost my family, seen hundreds of people die around me. I found you, my sweet and kind princess, the woman I would kill and be killed over. I opened myself up to you, to the idea of loving you, despite what little time we all have left, despite the risks that come with caring about someone.”

“I’m still the same person-”

“No, you’re not. You just fell in love with me, I didn't need to try this hard. It was natural that we come together after everything we had been through. When I thought about the day I would lose you, I expected you to die and for us to bury your body and for it all to be over. I could move on knowing I did everything I could to protect you and love you,” he gasped for air, so angry he forgot to breathe. His eyes burned into hers which were slowly widening, lips just agape. He took a deep breath and continued, “Do you know how much it hurts to see you walking around, talking to people, knowing that you are right there for me to touch and love, yet you will never love me again, not the way it was? Do you really, Y/N?”

“Levi...I’m sorry.”

He rubbed his face with his hand, covering his eyes in shame. He didn’t mean to be so emotional, to make a pathetic attempt at forcing the blame on her. “Sorry for what? You didn’t do anything for it to be this way. You’re just living like anyone else, I’m the one wallowing in my own misery. I’m the one that should be sorry.”

“I know. I-I want more than anything to remember everything. I want to remember you and how much you loved me like everyone says, like you say. I just...I don’t know how. Levi, I’m so sorry.”

He let his arms fall to his sides limply, not having anything else left to say really. “Even though you’re right in front of me, I miss you,” he whispered. “I just miss you.”

Y/N stepped forward, wrapping her arms around his waist and pulling him into a gentle hug. He tensed for a moment before falling into the hug, wrapping his arms around her shoulder and neck, pulling her form as close to him as possible. He missed her touch, her warm hugs by the stables. He would never say he missed the little intimacies, that was too much for him. Yet, these moments fueled him to wait for her, as long as she needed.

“Maybe it will never be the same. I’m sorry for that, Levi. I want to be friends with you. I long to know what the old me saw in you for so long. I wish I remembered what happened to spark something between us. I know it’s all still there somewhere, whether we have that history or not.” Silence from him, just faint breaths against her shoulder. “But it will be okay.”

It’ll be okay.

________________________________________________

Six months after she lost her memory, six months of feeling like a burden to the corps, Y/N stood outside the castle with a few of the cadets and Hanji, watching as she tried more experiments on Eren. She leaned back against a tree and shut her eyes, taking in a breath of the fresh air. So much had happened over the past months that she nearly forgot she lost her memories all those months ago. Wall Rose was sealed, the titan shifters had left for the time being. It seemed like everything was at peace, or that time was just standing still.

In the middle of the peace, the sunlight shining down on her and her friends through leaves in the trees, through the warmth of the summer sun. her mind seemed to piece itself together, if only parts. Her world shifted together once again.

Flashbacks played over in her mind, one after the other, hundreds of memories flooding in so quickly. She stumbled forward a few steps, pressing a hand to her lips to hold back her gasp. Hanji hadn’t noticed as she was too focused on Eren, but Jean gave her a particularly strange look after noticing her.

“Y/N-san, you good?” the boy called to her.

Thankfully, no one noticed except him, and she just waved him off. “It’s nothing. Just have to go to the bathroom.” As she walked away, more and more memories flooded into her head, not everything. She felt millions of tiny pieces of her story were missing here and there, but she could remember enough.

Memories of her mother and her father in her childhood house. Memories of school, cadet training. Erwin, Eren, Hanji, her squad, the titans, the expeditions, her favorite foods and stories and books. 

But most of all, she remembered Levi.

_______________________________

The night was soldiering on, yet Y/N could not sleep. Her stomach churned every few moments and she felt a headache coming up at the same time. Something had been bothering her for the past week, actually, make that the past few months. She was a seasoned soldier, yet she was letting emotions cloud her mind. Her exercises were coming up short and clumsy, and she had a hard time focusing on paperwork or the commander’s orders. 

The only thing on her mind was a man, particularly short with a sharp tongue and the abilities of a godly warrior. It had been two years since she met him, two long years of fighting and struggling to live amongst the chaos ensuing. He was her only source of hope and light in this cruel world.

Slowly, she rolled out of her bed and wrapped herself in her blanket, leaving the room and shutting the door silently. She didn’t want to wake anyone else for them to ask what she was up to long after midnight. She stepped down the hall carefully, keeping her head hung just a bit. In hindsight, she shouldn’t have been scared at all. She knew just as well as he did what they were meant to be. It was obvious to everyone. 

Yet there were always variables. Death was inevitable, no one lived to die of old age anymore. They were busy beyond belief, always rushing around to get things done, fight titans, protect the people of the walls. It was high stress, which didn’t leave much thought for anything else. She had the mind to think about everything but her priorities, unfortunately.

She walked across the yard in the cold night to the men’s barracks, definitely not where she was supposed to be. She could probably be in a bit of trouble with Erwin if someone snitched on her, but her consequences wouldn’t be dire.

And as she approached the room, her body tensed. It was so quiet in the night that she could almost hear the sound of her heart beating ferociously in her chest. Softly, with the tips of her fingers, she knocked on his door. When he didn’t answer, she could only laugh to herself, of course he couldn’t hear her weak knocks. 

She was just so scared. Maybe if he didn’t answer the door, then she could forget all about this and never confess what she was thinking. 

Gathering some of that Survey Corps courage, she knocked a little harder on the door. Rustling sound from in the room, and the woman cringed, shutting her eyes and taking a few quick breaths. It would be fine, she assured herself. It’s not that big of a deal.

When the door opened and Levi looked into her eyes, rightfully confused, she lost all her thoughts. The hours she had spent rehearsing what she wanted to say were thrown out the window.

“Y/N? What the hell are you doing here?” he whispered, his eyes sliding to check down the hall left and right for anyone watching. 

Her mouth opened, lips opening and closing like fish. He took her wrist and yanked her into his room, shutting the door behind them. 

“Is something wrong?” he asked, still holding her wrist in his iron tight grip. Y/N shook her head and sighed, turning to look at the wall instead of him. “Don’t tell me you had a nightmare or something-”

“Levi, I love you. I-I don’t know how else to tell you, and Hanji said outright was the best way and...well, I don’t know.”

“Love?”

“Yeah.”

“Stay with me tonight?”

Her face turned to stare at him incredulously, her cheeks turning an all-telling pink. “What?”

“I anticipated this, to be honest. You’re very emotional.” He crossed his arms, trying his best not to lose his cool composure like she had. He’d gone to the same evil scientist for love advice about Y/N a month before. His heart felt like it would explode, and his cheeks were threatening to turn red and his palms to sweat. But he would remain cool. Y/N was always the one to be open with her more embarrassing emotions. Coolly, he replied, “Hanji told me you would do this, and then she told me to tell you to stay the night with me.”

“Hanji...that double-crossing bastard.”

He rubbed a hand over his eyes, feelings of drowsiness still running through his head after just waking up. “Listen, I just want to hold you and fall asleep so stay with me.”

It only took a second to think it over before Y/N nodded. He walked over to his bed, scooting over to the side against the wall so she would have room. They had tiny beds, almost cots, but thankfully being a captain warranted a slightly bigger one. She sunk down into his bed and rolled over to face him. His sheets and pillows smelt so clean and new, just like his clothes did every day. It was comforting, and she felt the smell lulling her to sleep.

“So, the feelings are mutual?” she finally asked, although her answer was already quite clear.

Levi just sighed, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close to his chest. “Always so stupid.”

__________________________________________

“Levi?” Y/N asked as she entered the man’s office without even knocking. She was practically bouncing with each step, energy bound up inside.

He didn’t bother peeking up from his desk, just checking more things off his paperwork. “Yes, Y/N?”

She didn’t really know what to say, truthfully. She could only stand there for moment, and think herself so stupid for not remembering him. Looking back on how she acted while she was recovering, how she acted like a stranger to him for so long, and now that seemed ridiculous. They had history. Thousands of moments that she forgot. 

Without thinking much else, she bluntly said the only thing on her mind, “Stay the night with me.”

He lifted his eyes from his paperwork, narrowing his brows. “Excuse me?” 

“You said that the first time I told you I loved you. You-You were too nervous to actually tell me you loved me so you said that instead,” Y/N rushed to say. “I remembered.”

As Levi looked up at the woman he loved, the one he never stopped loving this whole time, he noticed the sparkle in her eyes had returned. Her cheeks were dusted pink and she looked out of breath from excitement. He didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t expected this, and honestly he never thought he would hear her recall those times again.

“I remember you. Not everything yet, but I remember being in love with you. I remember how you loved me.”

He stood from his desk to walk over to the woman who was overflowing with so many words and thoughts and emotions that he thought she might burst. He rested his hands on her cheeks, bringing her eyes up to meet his. He could see, for the first time in forever, the way her eyes shone with love and affection for only him. She brought her hands up to rest on his, heat rising up to turn her ears red. 

Even though they were practically married before, she felt anxious and embarrassed being so close to him and touching him again. It was like she had just fallen in love again, a giddy young woman with so much ahead of her. Levi touching her, it made her feel something again. His warmth radiating onto her chilled skin; it was all she needed to go crazy.

God, did she miss having these feelings. The feeling of being in love is one of the most pleasant mankind has ever felt.

“Levi, I’m back.”

“God, I missed you. I really fucking missed you.”

And as she wrapped her arms around him once again, feeling his heart beating against her ear, she remembered what it felt like to be Y/N. A woman who was loved and important, someone with a history of good deeds and hard work. It was worth waiting six months, just to feel this bliss once again.