#level 1313

RULE #1: DON’T LOOK LOST.

1313 eats lost people for breakfast. You look around like a tourist? Someone will notice. Best way to blend in is to ALWAYS walk like you know where you’re going, even if you don’t.

Pro tip: If you do get lost, don’t ask anyone in a clean outfit. That’s either a con artist, an underworld cop, or a trafficker. Instead, ask someone who looks tired but not overly excited. That’s a local. They might charge you, but hey we all need money down here.

RULE #2: CREDITS FIRST, QUESTIONS NEVER.

On that note, want to buy something? Want directions? Pay first. We don’t do free information, and we sure as hell don’t do refunds!

Pro tip: If a deal seems too good to be true, it is. If someone’s too friendly, they want something. If someone says “Trust me,” you should absolutely not.

RULE #3: EAT SMART.

Not everything down here will kill you, but enough of it will. The safest bets:

☠ Bug’s Fry-Up Joint (Krezzi Quarter)

> Get the fried rice & nerf meatball soup.

> Don’t ask why it’s so cheap. It’s good, it’s hot, and it’s not laced.

> If Bug likes you, he might give you extra. If he doesn’t, he’ll serve you anyway because credits are credits.

☠ The Wharf (Market & Food Court, Dockside 1313)

> Street food heaven. You want skewers? Soup? Weird shit you can’t pronounce? It’s all here.

> Be careful around the water (there are baby dianogas in it. They’re cute now. They won’t be later).

> Vendors will try to hustle you. Haggle like your life depends on it especially if you look clean and rich.

☠ Desi’s Noodles (Near the Warehouse District 7)

> Best noodles on 1313. Hands down. I mean it’s a popular chain in the Underworld!

> No menus. You get what you get. Desi doesn’t do substitutions.

> If you’re in a hurry, don’t bother. The one in 1313 serves when they feel like it! Operational hour: whenever they like.

RULE #4: KNOW WHO RUNS WHAT.

1313 is not completely lawless. It just has different laws. These are the people who actually run things:

> The Pykes: Spice trade. If you’re buying, you’re funding them. If you’re selling, you better cut them in or disappear.

> Crimson Dawn: Other syndicates have issues with them, but if you work for them (or at least have a good rep) you could enjoy nice facilities in their district.

> Blood Nebula: The closest thing 1313 has to a local government. Horrible at it.

> The Raptors: Not what they used to be, but still looking for dumbasses to recruit. Mostly street kids, lots of pickpockets and petty thieves.

> Hutt Cartel: You’re still asking who they are? Are you even from this galaxy?

Pro tip: If you don’t know who controls a place, assume someone does. Look for signets and symbols. Act accordingly.

RULE #5: NEVER TRUST THE COPS.

The Coruscant Guard doesn’t come down here unless they have to. The local security forces are all bought. If a cop helps you, it’s because:

1. They’re setting you up.

2. They want lunch money.

3. They’re bored.

RULE #6: WHERE TO GO (AND WHERE TO AVOID).

✔ SAFE-ISH PLACES:

(“Safe” meaning you might not get stabbed today)

> Moshi Bar: Moshi Bar. Tiggs Leo, the Volpai bartender who run the place, is an info broker who operated on a strict need-to-know basis. He doesn’t tolerate violence in his space, and he made sure the regulars knew it.

> The Wharf: Safest for non-local, see point above.

> Sleeeeeemo Pit: Fight club. Enter at your own risk.

> Krezzi Quarter: Markets, cheap food, good for blending in.

✖ AVOID AT ALL COSTS:

> The Old Turbolifts: Half of them don’t work. The other half are death traps.

> Side entrance to Level 1312: This is where cleaners dispose bodies. If someone tells you to meet them there, they’re planning to kill you.

> Pipelines 31: Used to be a transport line. Now it’s home to corridor ghouls.

RULE #7: IF YOU FUCK UP, OWN IT.

No one respects cowards and liars. If you owe money, pay it. If you start a fight, finish it. The underworld runs on reputation, and yours is the only currency that matters (well, credits too, but you get the point).

If you can’t handle that, you don’t belong here.

FINAL NOTE: 1313 doesn’t care about you. The best you can do is learn the rules, play smart, and stay ahead.

Good luck. You’ll need it.

WELCOME TO THE CRYSTAL JEWEL.

The bar sits in the heart of the Southern Underground. And no, this isn’t like Level 1313, which still has rules (and people Underworld Cops pretending to enforce them). This is the other side of the underworld. Quite literally. Cause the other hemisphere, you know?

No one gives a shit who you are. Or what you’re carrying. Smugglers. Bounty hunters. Mercs. Freelancers who’ve lost their crews. Burnouts. This place is where the galaxy’s trash comes to ferment.

Pro tip: Don’t look like easy prey.

Holster a blaster. Even if it’s fake. And if you’re not willing to fight? Pretend you are. One thing to keep in mind before entering the facility:

THE INVITE-ONLY LIE

Here’s the thing: The Crystal Jewel’s “invite only.”

What that really means is “we’ll act like you need a name, but if you show up with a gun and enough proven connection, we’ll let you in.” But if don’t have those? You’ll break in the fun way. Like me.

So, here’s how you break in to The Crystal Jewel:

STEP 1: FIND THE RIGHT ALLEY.

There’s a narrow alley tucked between a defunct data kiosk and a churro stand that definitely doesn’t use fabric colouring for the dips. Look for the brick wall with graffiti that says “DOWN WITH THE REPUBLIC” in four different languages.

STEP 2: CLIMB THE STAIRS.

There are two sets of stairs. One is kind of clean and leading towards the market, the other one is the sketchy one - go through this one. You’ll know it from the uneven stairs, barely lit, plastered with old posters of underground fights, Twi’lek burlesque shows, live sex shows (yep), missing persons. (Spoiler: not coming back.)

STEP 3: FIND THE GARAGE DOOR.

Top of the stairs, take the right corner past the crate stack and a broken speederbike that seems to take a residency in that spot. You’ll see a busted garage door. There’s a small gap beside it, just enough to squeeze through.

STEP 4: OVERRIDE THAT SHIT.

Duck through the gap and find a burnt umbre metal door. It’s locked. Of course. Again, do not come unprepared. I always carry my data/security spike. Not that expensive. It’s 1,500 credits worth of beautiful tech. Pop it into the door’s side knob. Work your magic.

STEP 5: GET IN!

Once you got it opened, get in! Make sure to close the door and remember your steps. Do not act suspicious.

What to do here? You’re probably wondering.

When you’re in a club like this, always look for the bar. That’s where you find intel. Unless you’re invited to sit on the couch. In spots like this, the bartenders are the unofficial gatekeepers. They see it all! Every dirty deal, every backroom bargain, and they knew better than to ask questions. Like the lady in the picture, she KNOWS EVERYTHING. They’re all knowing gods. Love and TIP YOUR BARTENDER. And if you play your cards right, you might just end up on the couch.

What does it mean to be invited on the couch? Listen. Black Sun owns most of the area here. So if you’re invited, there are two possibilities:

ONE: THEY WANT TO HIRE YOU.

They know your rep. They’ve seen what you’ve done. You made noise, and they’re curious. Maybe they want to cut a deal. Maybe they want you to run something. If this is you, sit down. Listen. Don’t talk unless spoken to.

And definitely don’t ask for a drink unless they offer.

TWO: YOU FUCKED UP.

Which is highly unlikely. Because if you really fucked up you’d never make it through this part of the Underworld. You’d get a body bag the moment your janky ship landed and docked.

BEFORE WE END THIS TRANSMISSION. One more thing!

TAL’S SURVIVAL TIP FOR THE SOUTHERN UNDERGROUND:

Don’t come here unless you know what you’re looking for.

Because if you don’t this place will hand you a drink, a blatant lie you wouldn’t even be able to decipher, and a blaster to the brain, and you won’t know which will end you first.

Anyway. I’m only here for the ammo. And maybe one of those fried fungus skewers if the vendor near the stairwell isn’t dead today.

S.T.R.A.V.A.

Suppressed Territory for Reprocessing of Aberrant Variants.

That’s what the logs call it. Facility’s long dead. Shut down. Ruined. BUT IT’S NOT EMPTY.

They were doing things down here. Experiments. There are signs. Claw marks on the walls. Restraints snapped. Something about neurological reprogramming??? I don’t know, it’s all rotted files and something is moving outside.

AGAIN. CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEFS LEVEL 5 IS NOT ABANDONED.

The Cthons are here. They’ve been watching since I got here. Killed some of them along the way. I tried backtracking but there was something in the vent I came through. Not sure it was a person. Not sure if it was sentient.

THERE ARE STILL PEOPLE DOWN HERE. You can find them at the cantina (there’s only one cantina down here). Some in a slum area on the way to S.T.R.A.V.A - they don’t like topsiders (yes, us 1313 and 1312 dwellers included).

IF THIS UPLOAD REACHES YOU— mrkskkssksst

I don’t know if I’m getting out. Maybe I’ll make it to the maintenance lift. Maybe I won’t.

Maybe the Cthons will… Wait. The creaking sound and footsteps outside stopped.

I think they’re listening.