It’s been 2 years and 4 months since I had my first heart break. I have been with him for almost 7 years. What did people said when two people reached 7 years being in relationship? Oh yea, it is 7-year itched where 2 people starting to feel nothing and stagnant and become irritant to each other or whatsoever it’s the year when they are stating to fall out. We didn’t reached that-- Almost, few more months and we could’ve reached that moment. 

I should have done this before; writing here. But only today that tumblr crossed my mind. Only today that I remember I can write again here and express myself. Well, most of my thoughts and feelings are in my diary. It’s not getting old. I still love writing them on my notebook. So someday, I have something to read and reminisce. 

Today, I stalked. Again. Her. The woman he’s in love with. The woman who stole his heart and attention from me. The woman who makes her happy now. The woman who sits on passenger’s seat, the woman who he travels with and starting to fulfill his dreams. 

For 2 years and 4 months, never I ever stopped looking into her twitter to see an update about him or them. I wanted to know what makes him fall in love with her. I wanna see him. I know you will say at this point that I should have stopped looking so I wont get hurt. But it is not easy being said. I loved him more than anything. I loved him will all my heart. He is my greatest love and no one could ever replaced that. It’s like there’s a place in my heart that only him could fill. It breaks my heart how I saw on her tweet that they are starting to save money for their future house. I shouldn’t be hurt because we are no longer together. I shouldn’t look into their profile because it is totally none of my business. It breaks my heart how much he spoils him in every little way just like what he did to me but at the same time it makes me happy. Because I can see how much he loves her to do those things. I saw how much he changed. They’ve been wearing couple shoes, shirts etc. He’s giving her bouquet of flowers and sending it to her house. He is visiting her in her hometown and checking in to hotel like Okada. I don't know how much influence she made. But I sense a changed person in him through photos.