#letterquotes

Somewhere in the past month, not only did my emotions abandon me, but I abandoned the things that I loved and chose new things. Now I'm stuck with incomplete stories, and experiences that felt like they started and ended in one neat package.

I find myself wanting to reveal things at the most mundane moments; Sitting in the car with my parents, waiting in line to order food with a friend. In pockets of silence and stillness in between chatting and movement. Where what's left of whatever boring topic we were talking about and the seriousness that the silence is offering gives off a balance that makes me feel like saying something. I open my mouth, wondering if I'll finally be able to do it, then purse my lips, realizing I won't. I'm just one of the many people whose secrets silence keeps.

Something that’s been crossing my mind is how easy it’s becoming for me to only almost say things. Like when my friend and I were sitting next to each other at a rollercoaster and I opened my mouth to tell her something, but instead it turned into a deep breath and some random comment. When she turned around to reply, all I could think about is how I didn’t manage to do it (again). I heard what she was saying, but I was thinking about how we would’ve been talking about something else entirely if I had just let my voice go. There’s a certain kind of void in noises you're not sure you want to hear, such as your friend replying to something else than what you wanted her to.