#letter9

Melissa. You need to breath. You need to get a grip on this situation. Like REALLY bro,  you do. Today I will have dinner with him. I am freaking out on the inside. I know I know, WHY am I even getting like this, right? I already saw him naked like two days ago (how can I forgettt), so why should dinner be more awkward than us bumping fuzzies, yaknow? Well because he's so damn beautiful to me! He's going to pick me, smelling so fucken good, he's going to be dressed so fucken handsome, he's going to sit across from me, in a small personal table, lit my a fucken candle, he's going to be charming and a total goof, he's going to act like his usual weird self, ill be a few drinks in...and I'm going to lose my shit. I'm going to want us to sit there for hours. Just hours upon hours. I'm going to realize just where in life we are. All the reality of it will hit me like a bus. I'm going to never to stop loving him, ever. He will always be a constant need & want in my life. And tonight, I have the opportunity, the chance, to just enjoy him. To enjoy his company. To enjoy US. I'm not sure how many more of these type of nights I'll get from here on. This is all so fucken confusing. I'm not sure what is going through his mind. Like, I do, but that COULD just be me hoping for a miracle. I know him, and I somewhat know that deep inside this means more to him than what he's showing. We're not being passive aggressive anymore. We're not exactly hanging on each others replies either. But we communicate, simply. That's more than before. AND I KNOW this will sound stupid beyond comprehension, but...he sent me a meme yesterday, ha. That literally made me squeal. Because, well, I don't know, he thought of me when he saw something funny. And shared it with me, he made a conscious decision to show me. Again, I know the kid, and he never does something for nothing. That's just him. This morning did freak me out though. He sent me a text saying that he was worried about going to dinner. A wave of dread washed over, like, was he bailing? Was he done? Like with everything? He came to a conclusion that he no longer WANTED to see me? Or even try to, I don't know, be cool with me? He proceeded to tell me "I don't know what to wear"...phew! I was literally shitting bricks. So we chit chatted about his clothes, came to a conclusion, and the night was still on. So now I'm at work, feeling like I just went on a coke binge. Im so anxious. I cant stop fidgeting around, its one of the reasons I even wrote this. I just need to relax and actually work! Hahah, I need to get through today as quickly and smoothly as I can.

            View of Hospital and View from Hospital

Hello family and friends!!! I hope you all had a wonderful week! My week was crazy! It flew by! I spent a lot of this week at the hospital! I miss you guys tons and think of you often! I hope everyone is doing well! Count Your Many Blessings Well, after this week I have really realized how blessed I am. Honestly, I feel a little spoiled. I am so blessed to have a family that is strong in the gospel of Jesus Christ. For amazing parents who raised me in the gospel and always showed me what is most important in this life. Who has given me more than I could ever ask for. Who have taught me so many important life long lessons that have helped me become the person I am. I am so blessed to have the brothers and sisters that I have. Brothers and sisters who always push me to be better each and everyday. Who love and support me in everything I do. Who are my best friends. Who have so many admirable traits. I feel so blessed to have grown up in the United States. For  the opportunity to get a college degree in something that I love and for all the opportunities in general that I have had in my life. I feel so blessed to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. This week we had to go to the office to talk to the mission doctor. On our way home we came across a family that had 2 or 3 little kids and were digging out of the trash cans for food. I wanted to cry when I saw this and wanted to give them all the money I had for the next week. I asked my companion if I could, but she said that we cannot give our money. It seriously broke my heart. That was just the start though..we turned the corner to get to our apartment and we saw five guys attack a man that was walking. It feels like it was a bad dream, but it was not. It happened right in front of us. They robbed him and then left him lying on the sidewalk passed out. I have never seen anything like it. We saw people walk by him without even stopping. It was like it did not even phase them. I could not believe it. I told my companion we had to go make sure he was ok. We went over and he was humming with his eyes rolled back. He was not concious. My companion said that she did not think we should be there and that we should leave. We went and got our security guy and he called the police. The police are not very good here though. I told my companion we have to do something. That could not just leave him lying there. She told me that we could not for our safety and it could not look like we were involved in anyway. The police did show up but not for like 30 minutes. I have no idea if he is ok and probably will never know. Both my companion and I returned to our apartment crying though because we felt so bad for this guy who was just walking down the street.  

                            The Hospital is my second home

Emergency Room One of the Hermanas called us this week with really sharp abdominal pains. She said that she had never experience them before. I told her to come into Quito and if we could not make an appointment with the doctor we would go to the Emergency Room. It was my first time going to the emergency room this week. She has had stomach issues for a while and it is only in particular areas that she serves. We are still trying to figure out what is wrong. We have a had a lot of stomach issues in our mission especially out in the countryside. They are really poor out in the countryside and their water is really bad. We all have filtered water bottles, but most of the missionaries go to members houses to eat and we think that they are not washing the food with clean water or cooking the meat all the way so it is making the missionaries sick. It is a big problem. Lots of parasites and just a lot of digestive problems. We had one Hermana this week that called us at 4 in the morning saying that she was throwing up all night and that after she threw up she passed out. She hit her chin really bad and then also hit her head. She did not remember anything. I told her she needed to go to the ER because she probably would need stiches. She called us after she went and they had to put 6 stiches in. We also had a hermana that had surgery this week. I have really seen the Lord's hand when I have been taking care of the missionaires. He really really knows each one of them by name. What they are going through and what they need. I have seen his hand helping me find doctors to help treat, help find good doctors that can find the problem, and help me know what to say to help the missionaries. We also had a sprained ankle and an Elder is having some knee problems. I take most of the calls now. We usually put the Spanish calls on speaker because I need help with them since I am still learning Spanish especially medical Spanish. My companion has been really helpful. I LOVE being the nurse for the mission and have learned so much already!!

              Three Children we are Teaching. I love them!

Tribulations "In the world ye shall have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."--John 16:33 The best thing about being a missionary or living with every action or thought focused on Christ, is the way you feel. It is hard to have a negative attitude about things if and when your life is focused on Jesus Christ. There are still going to be problems because we all have them. We can find inner strength through trying to live as He did. We can find self esteem, peace of mind, contentment, and courage to cope. This week through the heartache, tragedies, and trauma that I have seen in people's lives, I have gained a testimony that through these tribulations we can find strength and hope to deal with these challenges when the principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ are understood and applied. We had to teach our investigator, Juana, this week that she has to get married or separate from the guy that she is living with. She told us the trials she is facing and it will be a hard step for her. We promised her though that when we do what the Lord asks us, he will help us and he will keep his promises. I know that this is true. I know that the gospel can provide a life that her and her children deserve. I know that it will bring so much light and happiness in their life. She knows that the Book of Mormon is true. We did not get to see her this week except for yesterday because of all of our medical appointments and when we called her she asked where we have been. She said she missed us and that she has been reading the Book of Mormon and has been crying because she knows it is true. She is so great. They all came to church with us again this Sunday! I love when they come! Please pray for her and her kids. That they will be able to find a job and find a place to live. I have also gained so much gratitude for the trials that I have had in my life because our trials not only help us learn and grow, but they also help the people that we meet. I have seen the things that I have learned through my trials and hardships help my investigators and my companion. Always ask yourself when things are hard, what can I learn from this. So much can be learned through every hardship and you never know how much it can help or change someone else's life in the future. 

                   Random Man on the Street with a Fish

We are all MISSIONARIES It's true. Everyone of us. No matter if you have a name tag or not. It is our responsibility as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints to share the gospel. The Lord's words are true for the missionaries and for all of us. "And now, if your joy will be great with one soul that you have brought unto me into the kingdom of my Father, how great will be your joy if you should bring many souls unto me" (D&C 18:16). The missionaries cannot do it alone. At some moment in the world to come everyone you will ever meet will know what you know now. They will know that the only way to live forever in association with our families and in the presence of our Heavenly Father and His son, Jesus Christ, was to choose to enter into the gate by baptism at the hands of those with authority from God. They will know that the only way families can be together forever is to accept and keep sacred covenants offered in the temples of God on this Earth. And they will know that you knew. It is easy to say "the time isn't right". Trust me, I know. I have made that mistake before my mission and on my mission. We need to stop saying that though and open our mouths because everyone deserves to have an opportunity to know and have the gospel of Jesus Christ in their lives. I do not understand everyone when they talk because some people talk really really fast and not everyone understands me, but that has helped me to learn that it does not matter as much what we say, but how we make people feel. Love goes a long way. A single act of kindness will often be enough. Another really important concept I have learned is that everybody watches you and what you do when they know that you are a missionary or a member of the church in general. That it is so important that we be the best examples of the principles of the gospel. That we cannot teach others to do this or that, if we are not doing our best to follow those principles. Remember what the Savior said, "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in Heaven. (Matt 5:16).

                                Carrot Cake in a Pan

Merry Christmas!

It was so great to see you all on Skype. You are all my favorite people in this whole world. Sorry that I got a bit emotional when I read Connor's letter for me through the computer camera. That was so sweet. It makes me so happy. 

  This week we got sick from this tortilla thing that wasn't what you'd think of when I say tortilla. It was more like beans and bread mixed into a concoction that was very interesting, but left us with food poisoning. It only lasted for a day though and we still worked that day. I've learned a lot from Hermana Tyler about never giving up and always being ready to go work. 

  I never thought about how crazy it is that there are 89,000 missionaries serving full time for the church without pay until now, especially because a lot of them are ages 18 though 23. It is a miracle that we can accomplish this work and that people join the church. It is also a miracle that we can even move to a different country and learn a foreign language. I have a strong testimony of how effective members need to be in this work. As I've said before, I expect you all to invite others to come unto Christ as I do every day. Invite others to meet with the missionaries. You can do it. It is important that people understand that the Gospel of Jesus Christ has been restored to the earth in its fullness and that with the Priesthood authority of that gospel people can have a remission of their sins and be saved. You can tell them something along those lines. 

  Backstreet Boys

This week we were in our house and we started to hear backstreet boys or "nsync" jamming across the street and in a very strong Spanish accent a man singing "TELL ME WHYYYYYYYYY..."  I can't remember the rest of the lyrics but it killed me; definitely the highlight of my week. 

  Almuerzos

Not gonna lie, I'm struggling with the fact that their lunches are their biggest meal here, and I mean huge. Plus if you ask for less they do not accept it and still give you a bunch. I think that they think that we are starving to death here. But quite the opposite actually. I love learning about the culture.  One day I will be used to the big lunches. I love how kind the members are giving us food. 

  The thing that makes me the most happy here in the mission field is when I testify of the Savior. Usually when we are proselyting is when I am the happiest because that is the reason I am here and usually that is the time when I do not think of home a lot. 

  Atheist

There is a man here who lived in Littleton, Colorado who is a Chilean and was an English teacher in London. He speaks better than I speak English. We visited him this week and he explained to us that he is a very strong Atheist and he believes that Man created God and that God did not create man. He told us to read a book about Atheism. I was very impressed by my companion. She was so loving to him and explained that we aren't trying to force him to believe in God, but if he would just listen to our message he would feel something.  She said to him that he is loved, she didn't say by God but just that he was loved. He accepted and we are visiting him today. We decided we will teach in Spanish because it is his native tongue and what we are called to teach in. Pray for him please. When we were walking away he yelled to us,  "Pray for me".... very interesting. 

  MY weekly challenge

I challenge you all to have family home evening tonight and to read together Alma 30 in the Book of Mormon. If you are reading this and don't have a Book of Mormon, go to LDS.org and search Alma 30 and you can read it. This chapter is all about atheism and how everything denotes there is a God. 

  I know that who Heavenly Father calls he qualifies for the work. 

This week I have learned a lot about how I have been prepared to be a missionary. I am so happy to be here. I will not lie,  I question why I am here every day but then shortly after I remember that it isn't about me. 

WIP

WIP