#letter 8

Why don’t we lockscreens

my dad’s place, the living room

Hi Rose,

You refer to your little brother as “it” and “thing”? I mean yes we used to dress up Hugo instead of our doll and walk around with him in a pram, but you know he’s not an actual doll right? If you keep addressing him as an inanimate object I might just have to switch Hugo with my oldest brother for his safety's sake. You can have that insensitive idiot and I’ll keep your brother.

But all silliness aside, it was wonderful to have him around for a bit. I don’t know where he gets his cheery mood from but as soon as I find and exploit it I’ll be richer than Fred and George. He even kept me so busy that this letter is a day late.

We may or may not have finger painted James’ bedcovers (on the bottom not on top, my dad can’t see of course) but we most certainly did have a huge pillow fight with my dad which was great fun.

I think he really needed it, work has been though on him lately. He’s been doing a lot of long irregular evening and night shifts at the auror department ever since he and mom moved out of our old house at the start of summer.

He doesn’t really know what to do with himself now that I am the only one he’ll meet when he gets home. I do try to make the flat a bit more cozy so that he might start feeling at home a bit more but so far I’ve had no success. I think he needs to start dating, or even better get into a proper relationship so that he has more to come home to besides his grumpy daughter.

He’s still not entirely over my mum tough, or rather over the idea of my mum. I mean they’d been fighting more than talking for at least two years before everything went belly-up. Their marriage was dead and they both knew it. Still, my dad can’t really accept it and I know for a fact he feels lonely. Maybe I should get him a dog if he’s not ready for a girlfriend yet. What do you think?

With love,

Lily Luna Potter

Ps. Hi Albus. You know you could just send your own letters right? Oh and you were too late with the warning, the plants have ceased photosynthesizing quite a long while ago

Pps. Ah thank you Angelina! A meet up sounds awesome. Anything better than the awkwardness of last christmas

My radiant Rey,

I hope you are getting some well-deserved rest after our latest adventure. I just wish it had gone more smoothly. I guess it really is always one step forward, two steps back for us, isn’t it? I should have known. No, I did know. I knew about the way Korriban (or Moraband, to hipster douchebags) tends to affect people, let alone a tomb in the very depths of the Valley of the Dark Lords. It doesn’t get much more intense than that, when it comes to malevolent energy. It’s strange. For so long, I have wanted so badly to give myself to the Dark Side completely. The spirits of the tomb finally took me up on that offer, gave me all the dark power I had always craved and then some. And somehow, once I finally had it, it was a massive let down. If the Light has always been constantly nagging at me, the Darkness clearly wants to control me completely. Snoke says it’s an acquired taste. But I’m not so sure I want to acquire it.

I honestly don’t remember anything from my brief Dark Side freakout, and I have absolutely no idea why I ripped off my own shirt. I assume it was me. I wouldn’t be mad if it was actually you ;) Now you know that while there are a lot of things about me that aren’t perfect, my abs aren’t one of them. Anyway, it feels weird to say this, but I am truly grateful that you punched me in the face, and even more grateful that it snapped me out of it before…. Under the spirit’s control, I could have hurt you! You gave me quite a shiner, by the way. I look like I got kicked in the eye by a bantha :p

I told grandfather all about it, and he says it’s about time that someone tried to beat some sense into me. He thinks I’m being offered redemption on a silver platter. Before you ask, yes, my grandfather is dead, but he does really talk to me. I think. I’m actually not sure. Maybe I’m actually just talking to myself. He used to always tell me exactly what I want to hear, but lately he has taken to telling me hard truths, ever since…. Certain regrettable events on Starkiller. He’s been saying that it’s not too late for me. He says that my crimes have nothing on his (did Skywalker ever tell you about the thing with the younglings? Yikes.), and even he came back. I countered that he died immediately afterward and never had to face any real consequences. If I were to…. It’s a lot to think about.

Enclosed is a little something that I hope will help you relax, before the next leg of this quest. Now that we both have one half of the artifact (sorry, I couldn’t come back to Snoke empty-handed again), it’ll be back to Jedha. I have been instructed to fuse the pieces with the Chaos shrine, and I assume you have been told to use the Harmony one. I guess we’ll have to talk it out when we get there. Either way, I am glad to have another excuse to see you in person.

With love to the bright center of my universe,

Kylo

PS. I apologize for that confusingly random comment about sand, when we had that brief Force Bond chat, the other day. That was Grandfather’s idea. He’d insisted that it would definitely get me to first base, and had been bugging me to say it for months. He likes to give me suggestions as to what I should put into these letters too, but some of it’s a little over the top, even for me. He’s at the other end of the room right now, hollering that I should write that I’m in agony and can’t breathe. Now you know where I get my dramatic streak….

……………………………..

Dear Friends,

I never really belonged in this group. I see that now. I was only there because I followed M around like a lost puppy. But for a little while you actually made me feel like I was a part of something. Friend group V1 made me feel like that too, before it all fell apart. But the group falling apart I can take. You? You’re all still together, just without me. In fact, there is a literal wall between us. You’re right next door but I never see you. Sometimes I can hear you, through the wall, and I wonder what happened that stranded me on this side. I miss you all. So very much. If only you missed me too.

Letter 8

I’m losing my mind. Part of me is glad that you’re not here to see this because my life in unraveling before me. I feel sort of like my old self, the helpless telepathic winged girl I was before I came to Elysium. It’s so, so, so hard to block out the thoughts of all the people in this hotel. I can’t let my guard down for a single minute or my mind gets clouded with emotions and images and words. Some of it is disgusting or horrid. I’m huddled in a corner with my hands over my ears, even though I know that won’t help. Part of me knows that I’m so out of wack because I don’t have you around to keep me grounded and centered. 

I’ve been getting barely any sleep at all. I don’t believe I’ve ever been so exhausted in all of my life. I miss Elysium, I miss our home, I miss our bed, our couch. I miss the beach, and the surfer girl you used to be. I want to give you everything, hoping it’ll jog your memory but nothing is working. Tomorrow, I’m going to bring you pictures of home, our dog. I feel like if you see the familiar maybe it will come back to you. 

For now, I’ve got to find a way to fix myself without your help and to me that’s next to absolutely impossible. I’m scared, Amy. I’m really scared. I haven’t been this scared in a long time. My dad has been contacting me, and I don’t know if I should tell this version of you or not. I’m doing all of this alone, and I’m not used to feeling alone because I always had you right beside me. He says I have a sister, a little sister. Do I believe him? Do I even give him the time of day? I don’t fucking know at this point. I can’t shake this fear that nothing will ever be the same. I miss you. 

Come back to me, okay?

Your Angel,