#lesson's learned

Even when I’m mad at ignorant people who keep asking about things, I still feel pity for their ignorance. And I’ll ended up by helping them looking for the answers or things they don’t understand.

Since I’ve ever been in their situation, once. And it doesn’t feel right to be in the position where I don’t know or understand. I felt so dumb and stupid.

The way stupidity gets me mad, is also gets my sorry.

"kamu kok sukanya yang begitu? nih, suka tuh yang begini, ini lebih bermanfaat!"

"kamu kok belajar dari orang kayak gitu? nih, orang-orang yang menginspirasi aku, resapi hidup mereka supaya hidup kamu bermanfaat kayak aku!"

"aduh, baru menguasai hal-hal kayak gitu aja kamu udah ngerasa hebat? nih, aku tuh belajar x dan udah sampai tahap x. berkembang banget, loh!"

"kamu kok hidupnya kayak begitu? liat dong hidup aku dan teman-teman di sekitar aku, kami produktif dan positif!"

"kamu kok berubah? gak kayak dulu!" (err... do you even know me?)

"aku itu dari dulu suka baca buku, sampai jamannya pdf, ebook, dan serba digital pun aku tetap suka buku. apalagi buku tentang character development, makanya aku berkembang dan orang-orang yang suka baca buku gak berkembang!"

hal-hal di atas normal karena sifat superior manusia adalah hal yang wajar dan umum, jangan salahkan mereka, salahkan diri sendiri yang merespon. seharusnya hal-hal seperti itu gak usah direspon. merasa bahagia dalam dunia sendiri saja sudah cukup, asal tidak menyakiti orang lain. biarkan mereka memakan egonya sendiri sampai kenyang, kalau mereka makan terlalu banyak juga nantinya akan muntah sendiri.

I’ve learned a lot today. A lot, a lot.

Rumi said that the more you filled by knowledge, the more you will be down to earth. No, he didn’t said exactly like that, but that’s the point. 

And today, I feel like it’s my downfall. You got your profs from the college picked you for a big event, and it’s because they believe in you (when you’re in the situation that you don’t believe in yourself--you’ve been trying and trying and trying, but it’s failed and failed and failed). And you feel like, “wow I feel like I’m not doing anything but being lazy and wild and careless.” Have you ever felt like that? When you still try to believe that miracles happen to you? I know everyone has.

Particularly when one of my favorite profs said, “if you failed in your first trying, that’s totally normal. If you feel like you made mistakes in your first trying, I consider it as no mistakes you made. You’re trying, and you’re learning, that’s the matter.”

God, I’m crying now.

Do you know what I’m afraid of the most? I’m afraid if I can’t make my knowledge useful and beneficial for others. I’m afraid if what I’ve learned in these whole times will just be in my head.

An amazing professor of mine from my previous college was known as a very stingy person of giving A or at least B. Some of my friends dislike him. But not for me. Every time he told us about his experiences, I felt like he would live forever. Even maybe just his name. One day, he gave us an assignment to analyze a short story with 4 methods of approach. And I picked Semiotic as my method. I really enjoyed the research, I didn’t even sleep for two days. But still, I felt like I wasn’t very serious of working that out. Because I was happy, I was on my own, and I wanted to tell him things I found out.

And he gave me B+.

The grade didn’t really matter. But I remembered that he always laugh at the way I’m thinking. I remembered that laugh was kind of a father’s laugh. And he said to people in the class, “I believe you all can achieve more than I do.” And he had ever said said to me, “I believe you can do more than this.”

I will remember his name. Like forever.

Those teachers. Those kind of teachers I will always wanna be, and wanna give back. Because what they gave me is something more than can be valued by money. They should be payed a billion for what they give to their students: faith, chance, proud, brilliant humors, stories of their experiences, and of course, knowledge.

So much thanks I couldn’t say to all of my teachers. But I’m gonna tell God to give you all a place that you can never believe there’s a miracle happening to you.

I’d have to hear her voice again but I think that was a New Zealand accent on Velvet. I mean that’s awesome, it just makes her cuter. And they didn’t change their names to join the school, well I can buy that, what I still can’t buy is that both Ruby and Glynda are completely oblivious to Cinder’s appearance in this arc.

“So you mean that thin woman with long black hair that has control over fire isn’t the same thin woman with long black hair that has control over fire that we fought in the first episode, or during the ball?”

I mean there’s suspension of disbelief, but that doesn’t cover this. I mean she hasn’t even changed her name, when Roman outright says it multiple times when referring to Cinder, I can understand Ruby being oblivious but not Glynda.

And they missed an opportunity to develope Weiss’s personality even further. So far Winter only knows about Ruby and possibly Yang. But I doubt she knows about Blake. They could have even had them run into each other as they left. If this doesn’t happen later then I will really question the writing crew on this show.

But overall I did like this episode. They made Winter look like less of a cold bitch, but just a bit less.