Aside from Hephaistion, who did Alexander consider to be his friends? Is there anyone whoâs been noted as someone he was close to or fond of? Were they around his age, or older, like someone like Kleitus?
Who Were Alexander's Friends?
No doubt Alexanderâs circle changed across his lifespan. Hephaistion appears to have been a constant, and a few others, but we get mention of new friends and acquaintances now and then, also fallings-out, or deaths.
First, we should note that each Macedonian prince was accorded an âofficial circleâ called syntrophoi (ĎĎνĎĎÎżĎοΚ), selected by the king. It means âthose who were raised together with,â e.g., schooled with Alexander. His cousin Amyntas would have had the same. (Iâm thinking Arrhidaios probably didnât, but he might have, depending on his actual mental capacity, which isnât clear.)
If we canât be 100% certain who were Alexanderâs syntrophoi, we can make a few guesses. Perdikkas, Leonnatos, Marsyas, Hektor, Lysimachos, and Seleukos all seem likelyâmaybe even Kassandros (although he was younger). Probably Hephaistion, although one of the places Sabine MĂźller and I disagree is when he met Hephaistion. She thinks they met only as adults, whereas I think Hephaistion was a syntrophos. (I wonât go into why; I simply note it.)
The ruins of the palaistra near Mieza turns out to be much bigger than we expected, suggesting there were a lot of boys sent to study with Alexanderâmore by far than I included in the novel. But Iâd already written Dancing with the Lion by the time that excavation occurred, and Iâm not sure Iâd change it even if I had known, as 100 kids is a lot to keep track of! I did note the size in the Historical Note, however, at the end of book 2. Obviously if there were even 50 (never mind the possible 100), they werenât all close to Alexander. Probably most werenât.
Some not syntrophoi, but important to his circle, include Krateros, Philotas, Nikanor, and Ptolemy, all of whom would have been about 10-ish years older, and may have been syntrophoi (at least some) of Alexanderâs older cousin Amyntas. Erigyios, Laomedon, Harpalos, and Nearchos, despite my making them Alexandrosâs age in the novels, were all almost certainly older, and perhaps by some years (more than Ptolemy and Krateros). Kleitos would have been like a big brother to Alexander, too, but not a syntrophos.
Now, OF those assigned syntrophoi, who were his actual friends? Good question. Keep in mind this is just my own opinion, based on my sense of things from the sources.
In addition to Hephaistion, he seems to have been genuinely fond of Hektor (Parmenionâs youngest). I think he also liked Lysimachos, and Perdikkas. Despite the hatchet-job Ptolemy (et al.) did on Perdikkasâs reputation in the Successor Wars, after Hephaistionâs death, Perdikkas occupied the highest position still at court (with Krateros his most trusted person away from court). Iâm not sure if he were actual friends with Krateros, or simply recognized him as an excellent general, Parmenionâs natural successor. If they were close at some point, I canât imagine the friction with Hephaistion made it easy to continue. For that matter, Iâm not sure Hephaistion and Krateros werenât originally at least friendly, if not friends. The tension seems to bloom late in the campaign after Hephaistionâs rise. Another possible friend was Marsyas, who had more of a literary career than a military one. But like Ptolemy later, he could have exaggerated his importance to Alexander for prestige.
There were also people in-and-out of his personal circle who werenât Macedonians, or soldiers. We hear less about them. And we should remember that peopleâs personal circle does change across time. I think most people do probably count only a handful of people as consistent, long-term friends. Thatâs what makes them special.
Alexanderâs unique place as crown prince, then kingâŚthen simply the most powerful person in his world, would have complicated enormously who he could call a friend.
Itâs why I find his attachment to Hephaistion so fascinatingâa unicornâas it seems to have been both sincere and to have weathered his rise to power. Itâs also why I think his own death followed so quickly on Hephaistionâs. Itâs lonely at the top. A clichĂŠ, but very true. He got lucky enough to have a trusted partner who he brought along from the beginning. When that partner died, he was rudderless. Even if he trusted PerdikkasâŚPerdikkas wasnât Hephaistion. Nobody was. That emotional devastation was heightened so much more simply due to his position.