#leftbehiind

romantic rainstorm meme ( accepting ) + @leftbehiind // lexi

The two of them walk home after school now, every day. It’s kind of like, nostalgic almost, the way that they bump along a familiar path together, catching up on whatever high school bullshit that they run into that day. It’s the way things used to be, and not... maybe for the better, Rue knows, there’s a lot of shit between them that still sits UNRESOLVED, conversations better saved for being further along in her sobriety, an act that Lexi, as always, encourages. In fact, she’s able to better understand it now, her help for what it was, rather than her looking down at her from that place of supposed normalcy... recognizing, too, the steps she’d missed in looking out over her best friend in the last few years, while wrapped up in her own emotional bullshit with everything surrounding her dad.

 They curve old paths, they walk the same steps, to and from. It’s almost like them keeping an eye on each other, her way of taking a temperature check, when she knows Lexi’s doing more, lately, for herself. “So when are we getting a sequel to Our Life anyways? Or is that gonna be our SENIOR YEAR PROJECT?” Rue stifles a laugh, elbow knocking purposefully into Lexi’s own from where she grips hard to the straps of her backpack, the forlorn thing almost always stuffed away in her locket for most of the day. “Next time uhhh, you should let me have a part. Nothing important or whatever, because we both know I’m a fucking klutz and I’ll probably trip over a wire and tear apart the whole set or something stupid like that, but like, I wanna... I dunno. Help out.”

「  @leftbehiind​   」 –––––––   “  have  you  seen  cass ? “

“   that's   the   beauty   of   a   secret   :   you   know   you're   supposed   to   keep   it.   ”

Rue fucking spirals after the night of the Winter Formal. She doesn’t really talk about it... but people notice that Jules is gone. Ask her about it, even Lexi, and, from the look that she gives her it’s clear that Rue can’t even give it the words to explain. A FEELING chokes her, tightening about her throat, it’s like she’s there again, on that platform. The weight of the world, that comes down all at once on her as the train began to pull away, how do you explain the sensation of your heart shattering to someone? Fuck. She sounds so fucking dramatic, but like, who could blame her for reaching for pills instead of dealing with...

                              ... whatever the fuck that shit was?

It’s almost Christmas, and like, she knows to stop by Lexi’s... not just because her mom hands her a stack of things to bring over, Suze and her mom always on the phone with one another. There’s a basket with wine, a pretty card that left sparkles stained at the edges of it, some symbol on the back imprinted with the bullshit promise that it was all eco-friendly... YEAH FUCKIN’ RIGHT, her gaze moving along, alert, as she stands at the door awkwardly, holding the gift basket underneath one arm while squinting at the door. “Lex! You home?” The staccato ring of the doorbell. Cursing, under her breath. “God please fucking tell me you are, my arms are killing me.”