The Mess I Kept
BLACKHOLE: Path of Chaos
Male Reader x IVE's Leeseo / Lee Hyunseo
Loneliness / Silence / Control / Chaos / Doubt / Youth
~7k words
A/N: Big thanks to fluff lords @ducktoo and @dotoliwrites for the impeccable advice.
âIâm 20! Let me wear whatever I want!â
âNo.â
Leeseo twirls around in her photoshoot outfit that basically covers 90% of her skin, not showing anything other than her hands, neck and face.
âBut this is so boringâŠâ she says, stopping mid spin. Her fingers pinch and pull onto the fabric around her chest, making the well-ironed top distort with two sharp peaks. âIt's giving so much baby idol vibes. I want something⊠hotter~â
You lean against the clothing rack, arms crossed, looking at her with uninterested and cold iron eyes.
âIt's age-appropriate. Cute. Safe. Fans like cute.â
She stomps her foot, flats squeaking on the polished floor as she turns to face you.
âSafe? Cute? I'm not cute anymore!â Leeseo whines, pitching up into that familiar babyish tone she uses when she wants attention. She tugs her skirt hem higher, exposing an inch of thigh above her jet black stockings.
Yujinâs sprawled across the black leather couch in the corner with her long legs stretched out, phone in hand. She laughs without looking up, âShe's right, oppa. Let the maknae show some skin. She's all grown up now.â
Wonyoung, who's sitting beside Yujin with her legs elegantly crossed, smiles softly as she scrolls through photos of Dubai chocolate on her phone. She flicks her eyes between you and Leeseo.
âSheâs been 20 for months. Let her try.â
Leeseo beams at her two favorite unnies, then turns back to you with triumphant, sparkling eyes.
âSee? Even they agree!â
You transform into a wall. âThe concept is youthful. Not sexy. You want to risk Dispatch headlines on your first solo teaser?â
Her smile falters for a second, then she sticks her tongue out at you childishly.
âYouâre no fun.â
âFun? We're not here for âFunâ,â you raise your voice. âHaving âLeeseo from IVE Transforms Into A Vixenâ plastered all over every media outlet and forum is not âFunâ.â
She ignores you and flounces over to the rack, fingers dancing across hangers until she yanks out a sheer black mesh top. It's practically see-through with delicate straps, designed to be layered under something else.
She holds it against her chest, turning to the mirror again. âWhat about this? With the skirt? Super chic.â
You step forward and reach past her shoulder, taking the hanger from her hand.
âNo.â You hang it back on the rack with a cutting force. âYou stick to the concept.â
She gasps dramatically and shoves your chest lightly with both palms.
âYouâre so mean! Iâm literally an adult!â
Yujin snorts from the couch. âAdult tantrum in 3⊠2âŠâ
Leeseo spins on her heel, pigtails whipping across the air and points at you accusingly.
âFine. Tomorrowâs my solo photoshoot. If you wonât pick something hotter, Iâll just do it myself.â
She snatches her bag â leopard-print, of course (she switched out her pink cutesy purse the day she turned twenty) â from the chair and storms toward the elevator.
Halfway there she âaccidentallyâ knocks over a clothing rack. The metal clatters and garments of âcute clothesâ that she rejected avalanches onto the floor in a colorful heap.
She freezes and squeaks with a purposeful (?) âOops!â. She bolts off even faster with flaming cheeks, nearly tripping over the mess she made.
She pauses right at the elevator doors and glances back at you. She looks just the way she used to when she was twelve, waiting for you to tell her itâs okay to cry.
You donât call her name.
You havenât in three years.
Not since the first time Dispatch posted blurry photos of you two leaving a convenience store at 2 a.m. and the comments called her âthe trainee with the staff boyfriendâ.
It was just to buy some late night snack, but that snack was the appetiser to learning how fast a rumor can spread, and how fast it can burn everything down.
She snaps her head back and leaves.
The makeup artist in the corner stifles a laugh.
Her manager that's leaning against the doorframe shakes his head fondly. âSame old Leeseo,â he mutters, loud enough for you to hear.
You walk towards the mess and bend to pick up the fallen clothes, folding them methodically, avoiding everyoneâs eyes.
Your phone buzzes in your pocket.
You pull it out habitually.
<Tiger Cub, 18:29> This was taken in the changing room earlier. Look at this outfit! Too baby right? đŁ
[photo attached: mirror selfie, skirt tugged high, pouty lips, peace sign]
You stare at the photo but your three fingers move automatically, swiping them down â screenshot taken. The instant the screen capture happens, everything disappears.
She unsent it.
You open the folder labeled âLâ and move it into the sub-folder âPoutsâ.
The counter ticks up: 248 items.
A small, subtle smile tugs at the corner of your mouth, and it's gone before anyone sees.
Well, someone saw it.
âYou just smiled at your phone. That was her, wasnât it?â Yujin raises an eyebrow.
You school your face back to Unbreakable Wall Mode and pocket the phone.
âWork.â
Wonyoung laughs softly. âSheâs going to keep pushing until you crack, you know.â
The makeup artist glances over with a grin as she touches up Wonyoungâs highlighter.
âWeâre all rooting for you two, oppa. Just say the word and weâll help.â
The manager chuckles from the doorway. âBeen saying that for years. Kidâs too stubborn to listen.â
You finish folding the last top and set it back on the rack.
Your phone buzzes again.
<Tiger Cub, 18:32> Iâm sorry for being dramatic⊠Donât hate me okay?
<Tiger Cub, 18:33> âŠYou still there?
You swipe your fingers again, and with a few taps, you archive it into âCriesâ.
Then type back a curt reply.
<You, 18:33> Iâm here. Go home. Rest for tomorrow.
She replies instantly.
<Tiger Cub, 18:33> Promise youâll be at my shoot?
You stare at the screen, thumb hovering over the send button after typing out the message in a flash. But you decide to delete every letter and wait for five minutes.
<Tiger Cub, 18:35> Hello? Are you mad? I'm sorry for messing up the clothes.
<Tiger Cub, 18:36> Those cute dresses probably deserved to be on the floor anyway~
<Tiger Cub, 18:37> I saw you typing earlier. Why aren't you replying!
<Tiger Cub, 18:38> Fine! Iâll just wear whatever I want tomorrow if you donât reply!
<Tiger Cub, 18:39> Alright alright I'm sorry!
You save another screenshot again, tucking it into the âTantrumâ folder.
Then your fingers move again, tapping a short and curt reply.
<You, 18:39> Iâll be there.
She sends a single heart emoji, then nothing.
You open the âLâ folder again, yes again, and drag the heart emoji screenshot into âSoftâ.
Silence settles over the studio again.
âShe likes you, you know,â Wonyoung looks up from her phone, a gentle smile curving her lips.
You exhale through your nose.
âI know.â
Yujin grins, finally looking up from her screen. âAnd you like her back. So why do you keep freezing her out?â
Wonyoung quips in, âDonât keep her waiting too long. Sheâs been waiting for years already.â
You donât answer.
But deep down, you already know sheâs right.
Leeseo never stops pushing.
And part of you â the part you keep locked away â hopes she never does.
***
âJANG WONYOUNG!â
âWONYOUNGAHHHHHHâ
âLUCKY VICKYYY!â
The fashion event is a glittering cage: crystal chandeliers overhead, velvet ropes corralling the savage crowd, photographers shouting names like battle cries, champagne flutes clinking like tiny warnings.
Wonyoung moves through it like she was born under spotlights. A black strapless velvet mini-dress hugs her slender frame with massive silk roses blooming at her hip like a dark flower. The dress is short and daring, the hem barely skimming mid-thigh, and the way the velvet clings to her skin makes every step a quiet statement. Nothing like how you would dress Leeseo.
Her hair is swept into a loose, glossy wave, and priceless diamonds glint at her ears and throat.
But the real diamond of the event is the lady whoâs parting crowds with every step.
Youâre here as her stylist â officially.
Unofficially, youâre here because she asked, and because saying no to Wonyoung has never been easy.
She links her arm through yours as you step onto the red carpet. It's natural, practiced, and it's Jang Wonyoung. She doesn't say, but she always does this with people she trusts.
Cameras explode with blinding lights.
She laughs at something you murmur about the rose detail â leans in close â whispers in your ear, hand resting lightly on your chest for the photographers.
Your other hand settles instinctively at her lower back, just above the swell of her ass, steadying her as she turns for a profile shot.
The placement is professional.
Necessary for balance on the uneven carpet.
But from the angle of the cameras â and from the phone screens Leeseo is probably staring at right now â it looks intimate.
Possessive.
Your fingers rest there with no intention while Wonyoung poses with her hip cocked, rose blooming dramatically against the black velvet. She winks and blows a kiss at the camera.
Perfect shot for the cameras.
Your phone buzzes in your pocket.
Not a perfect shot for her.
You glance down at your phone.
<Tiger Cub, 19:35> Have fun with Wonyoung-unnie~ đ
[photo attached: a forehead shot with a frown so pronounced she aged her cute youthful self by fifty years.]
You chuckle and swipe the three fingers down again. She looks beautiful, beautifully chaotic and impossible to ignore. But before you can reply, she unsent the photo.
Too bad youâre the God of Speed (only for screenshots). You open the folder labeled âLâ, adding the new collection to "Dissatisfaction".
You wipe the grin off your face once the archiving is complete, but Wonyoung sees it anyway.
âSheâs texting you again?â
You pocket the phone and give the same answer you always give.
âWork.â
âWork's really tough to handle huh?â Wonyoung laughs softly. âSheâs jealous again.â
âShe thinks thereâs something between us,â you mumble.
Wonyoung tilts her head, hair catching the light as she poses for another camera â this time with a heart pose on her two rosy cheeks.
âSheâs not wrong that weâre close. Just⊠not in the way she thinks.â
She squeezes your arm gently.
âTell her the truth when youâre ready. She deserves to know you only have eyes for her.â
Your phone buzzes again, but this time itâs Yujin.
<AHN Yujin, 19:37> Yah oppa, Leeseoâs been staring at her phone like it owes her money đ
She keeps refreshing her Instagram. Tell her to chill before she breaks the app
<AHN Yujin, 19:38> Or better yet, stop being so cold to her, sheâs gonna combust!
You read the texts and screenshot it, sending it to the âTantrumâ folder before typing back:
<You, 19:38> Sheâs fine. Just tell her to behave.
<AHN Yujin, 19:39> Sheâs NOT fine. She just asked me if you and Wonyoung look good together in photos đ€Šââïž
<AHN Yujin, 19:39> I told her âthey look like siblings who fight over the last fryâ, but she didnât laugh.
<You, 19:40> I'm not laughing either. That wasn't even funnyâŠ
<AHN Yujin, 19:40> Seriously? I'm tryna help you here. Fix your maknae before she cries into her pillow tonight. She looks like she's gonna cry any moment.
You exhale and pocket the phone again.
âYujin texting you too?â Wonyoung asks.
You nod.
âShe says Leeseoâs spiraling.â
Wonyoungâs smile softens with a hint of sadness. âSheâs scared youâll pick someone else. She thinks sheâs not enough.â
âI know. But I can't pick her now,â you say. âNot when she's peaking with her career.â
Wonyoung opens to reply, but your phone buzzes again. It's a voice note from Leeseo.
You save it before you tap play, placing your ear close to the speaker. Her voice comes through, and it's rushed, shaky and higher-pitched than usual:
âOppa I didnât mean to be weird I just saw the photos and you two looked so close and Iâwait no Iâm being stupid, forget it, sorry sorryââ
She stops mid-sentence.
You tap the transcripting function and screenshot her message before she deletes it, archiving it into âCriesâ with satisfaction.
Another buzz.
<AHN Yujin, 19:43> She just unsent her voice note to you. I saw her face when she did it â pure panic.
<AHN Yujin, 19:43> Oppa⊠she thinks you hate her now.
<AHN Yujin, 19:44> Fix it before tomorrowâs shoot or sheâs gonna be a mess.
<You, 10:44> I donât hate her.
<AHN Yujin, 19:45> Then TELL HER THAT. Or better yet, show her. We both know youâve been screenshotting her chaos for years.
<AHN Yujin, 19:46> Maybe let her see the folder someday. Sheâd melt. Please don't make me clean your messâŠ
<AHN Yujin, 19:46> âŠ
<AHN Yujin, 19:47> Forget I suggested that. But seriously. Sheâs our baby tiger. Donât let her think sheâs not wanted.
You pocket the phone again, heart pounding a little harder than it should.
Wonyoung finishes another interview and walks back, noticing your expression.
âShe sent a voice note?â
You nod, showing her the screenshots and your texts with Yujin.
Wonyoung squeezes your arm gently. âSheâs scared. She thinks she has to compete with us. She doesnât know me and Yujin are⊠together.â
âThen why don't you both tell her?â you ask Wonyoung.
âWe will. When sheâs ready to hear it,â Wonyoung giggles. âRight now she's still⊠acting like a child. Too dense. We shouldn't spoonfeed her. She needs to look at the bigger picture rather than just at you. Me and Yujin are always flirting with each other right in front of her, but she only has her eyes on you.â
âAnd also,â Wonyoung says, tapping on your chest with her pointy fingernail. âThat's your tigress to tame. So maybe give her some hope to hold onto.â
You look at Wonyoung with a frown.
âAlso, Oppa,â Wonyoung asks, turning back to look at you before walking off to meet another interviewer. âAre you still not going to change how you saved Yujinâs name? I'm gonna tell her you know~â
â...â You look at her dumbfounded. âEveryone calls her by her full nameâŠâ
She chuckles and struts away.
The event drags on endlessly: interviews, photo ops, small talk with designers. Wonyoung is flawlessly charming, touching your arm whenever she wants to emphasize a point. And every time she does, your phone buzzes again and again.
Leeseoâs texts come in waves:
<Tiger Cub, 20:06> Youâre taking so many photos with herâŠ
She unsends it.
<Tiger Cub, 20:09> Sorry Iâm being clingy
Unsends.
<Tiger Cub, 20:11> Do you like her more because sheâs prettier?
Unsends.
<Tiger Cub, 20:15> I hate myself rn
Unsends.
You screenshot every single one, every deleted message, every panicked retraction, adding all of them to the growing folders. You sigh and pocket your phone, focusing back on the event.
After a long arduous hour of man-made sun-tanning, the event finally winds down. Wonyoung slips her arm through yours again, this time for real comfort as you both leave for the limousine.
âSheâs going to push harder tomorrow at her shoot,â she murmurs. âBe careful. Sheâs scared, not angry.â
âI know.â
âYou should just tell her already. I know that incident has scarred you badly, but have you ever thought about facing it head on rather than pulling the plug right off the bat?â Wonyoung asks. âSometimes being ready isn't a matter of when. You can't be ready for everything.â
You donât answer.
But as you leave the venue, your phone lights up one last time.
<Tiger Cub, 21:58> Iâm sorry for being weird tonight. Donât hate me okay?
<Tiger Cub, 21:59> âŠYou still there?
You screenshot it and type back.
<You, 22:00> Yes. Go to sleep. Photoshoot tomorrow. Your curfewâs up.
<Tiger Cub, 22:00> Promise youâll be there?
<You, 22:01> Iâm always there.
<Tiger Cub, 22:01> Iâm 20 btw, don't forget. No more curfews.
<Tiger Cub, 22:01> Seeya tmr â€ïž â€ïž â€ïž
You screenshot everything.
And when the car finally stops outside the dorm building, you allow yourself one small, private moment, opening the folder labeled âLâ to scroll through years of her deleted messages, letting the smallest, softest smile cross your face.
You never delete anything she sends.
Because even when she tries to erase herself, you keep every piece.
âIâll head in first, Oppa~â Wonyoung says, pecking you on the cheek before leaving.
The rain starts to speckle the windshield like sprinkles of reminiscence.
You lean back in the seat with your phone in hand, thumb swiping open the folder labeled âL.â
Thousands of files.
Years of her chaotic selfies, pouty voice notes, flirty texts, angry rants, deleted confessions.
Everything she regretted the second she hit send.
You scroll absently with your unwavering eyes, zooming past the streaking gallery until you stop on an old photo buried near the bottom.
Your eyes quiver as you tap on the picture. It's a blurry middle-school snapshot of Leeseo, soaked to the bone, grinning like she just won a war, holding your broken umbrella like a trophy.
***
âSheesh, it's pouringâŠâ you mumble, packing your bag. âI should have left an hour ago.â You zip everything up, grab your umbrella and prepare to leave the library.
âOppa! My hero!â
Leeseo is standing under the school awning (again) with her arms crossed, scowling at the downpour. Sheâs already wet, probably trying to brave the light drizzle until it got unnecessarily heavy.
âWhere's your umbrella?â You say, walking up holding your cheap plastic umbrella, tilting it over her head without any instruction.
She blinks up at you, then grins so wide her cheeks dimpled, eyes sparkling with mischief.
There it is⊠that damn grin again.
Before you can even blink, she grabs your hand and yanks you into the storm.
âCome on! Letâs splash!â
âWeâll get soaked!â you protest, but she was already running, laughing wildly, dragging you through puddles, jumping in every one she saw like the rain is her personal playground.
She slips on a slick patch, arms windmilling in exaggeration â okay well maybe not an exaggeration â and almost face-plants into concrete. But you lunge forward and catch her around the waist.
She lands against your chest, rain streaming down her face, soaking your well, already soaked uniform, plastering her hair to her cheeks. For a heartbeat she just stares up at you, eyes wide, cheeks pink from cold and adrenaline. Then she burst out laughing again, throwing her arms around your neck, hugging so tight it hurt.
âYou always catch me, oppa.â
You stand there, heart slamming against your ribs, arms locked around her, umbrella forgotten on the ground as the rain pours over both of you.
She pulls back â still grinning mischievously â then looks at the umbrella. Her smile sinks.
âOops⊠sorry. It's⊠broken.â
You shrug and pick it up, handing it to her anyway.
âKeep it. Itâs yours now. It will still cover you until you get home.â
She takes the umbrella and twirls it like a professional gunspinner, before swishing it around like she's practicing the Heavenly Demonic Sword Art, Form Eleven, only for the handle to break.
You walk forward and take a picture of her, before picking up the fallen umbrella again and flick her forehead. âGo home you cheeky girl. Before you get a cold.â
Leeseo sticks her tongue out and bleps at you before leaning in to hug you again, face burying in your shoulder.
âPromise you wonât ever leave me alone in the rain?â
You swallow with your throat tight, feeling the warmth of her against you despite the cold. Her heartbeat thumps against yours.
âI promise.â
***
You tap the back button and the picture minimises.
She never noticed how long you hold on.
Never noticed the way your hands shake slightly when you finally let go.
Never noticed that you walk home drenched, smiling the whole way because sheâd been safe, because sheâd laughed, and because sheâd trusted you enough to fall into your arms.
She just skipped ahead, still laughing, still chaotic, still completely unaware that youâd already fallen for her so hard it hurts to breathe.
You scroll again, landing on another old photo that was taken in elementary school. This time it's a crumpled lunchbox with spilled rice and side dishes splayed on the schoolyard grass. Leeseo is crouched beside it, teary-eyed as she looks up into the camera.
***
âHyunseo-ah, that's mine!â
Leeseo giggles as she runs away with your lunchbox â again, it's now her favourite game â daring you to chase her.
You chase, of course you do, because that's your lunch. You run around the playground, past the swings, through the flower beds.
She swerves left and right, darting up and down like a tiger in the wild â maybe a tiger cub for now â avoiding and juking your every attempt to catch her.
Then it finally happens.
Leeseo trips over her own feet, and your lunchbox is sent flying, rice and kimchi scattering everywhere.
She lands hard with a small shriek, scraping her knee. But she doesn't cry, not until she stares and looks at the mess, finally bursting into tears.
âI ruined your lunch⊠Iâm sorry⊠Iâm so stupidâŠâ
Her voice cracks and something inside you cracks too. But you don't forget â you take out your phone and snap a picture.
âWhy did you take a picture of me cryingâŠâ she wails even louder.
âI need to show your Mom how you hurt yourself,â you lie, pocketing your phone before kneeling beside her. You brush the dirt off her knee. âNo bleeding. Anywhere else hurt?â
She shakes her head. âBut the foodâŠâ
âItâs just food,â you say, picking up the spilled food with your hands.
âBut it was your favoriteâŠâ She sniffles, looking up at you with big, wet eyes.
You shrug and pull out the extra rice ball you always packed (because you knew sheâd steal half of yours anyway).
âHere. Eat this.â
She stares at you and lunges forward, hugging you so tight that you almost fall over. âYouâre the best oppa ever.â
You let her cling, hand patting her back awkwardly. Your heart pounds so hard that youâre sure she can feel it.
She never knew you packed the extra rice ball every single day.
Just in case.
***
Back then, she cried into your shoulder and you held her until she stopped shaking. But now she cries alone in her dorm after unsending messages â Gaeul and Rei, her roommates told you â hoping you still yearn for her.
She never knew you kept the empty lunchbox in your drawer for months and years. You can't tell her. It's a stupid, sentimental thing that's still there, displayed on your collection shelf.
But every day you look at it, hoping that sheâll just see you as the reliable friend who never gets mad. Nothing good will probably come out if your relationship with her goes public.
You sigh and close the folder, thumb brushing the faded cat keychain on your wrist (her thank-you gift from the lunchbox day).
You kept every promise.
Every mess.
Every tear.
Every laugh.
Even when it means staying quiet.
Even when it means watching her grow up without ever telling her how much you love the girl who makes your world louder, brighter, messier.
***
Leeseo is at the center, wearing the approved concept outfit you pulled together. It's a pink-and-white baseball jersey with bold playful words lettering across the chest, loose enough to look effortlessly sporty but fitted at the waist. The hem hits mid-thigh over black bike shorts, paired with a white cap (pink bow on the back), pink baseball glove dangling from her hand, and white sneakers with pink accents. Itâs youthful, energetic, and marketable. Cute with a tomboy edge.
But she hates it.
âLeeseo, hands on your hips with your glove raised,â the photographer calls for a pose. âGive me a playful V-sign with a wink!â
Leeseo does it, but her eyes keep flicking to you.
Youâre standing off to the side with your arms crossed and phone in hand, reviewing the shot list with the creative director.
Every time her gaze lands on you, she adjusts, tugging the jersey higher to expose a sliver of midriff, shifting her weight to push her hip out further. You pretend not to see, but she tilts her cap back a little more, bites her lip harder, and lets her lashes drop slower.
Anything to grab your attention.
But she got the wrong target.
The photographer notices and chuckles.
âLeeseo, youâre giving extra spice today. New energy?â
She giggles and glances at you again, purposefully raising her voice to say: âJust trying to look like an adult for once.â
You keep your signature poker face on and keep scrolling on the phone, but your thumb pauses on a screenshot in your gallery.
It's her text from this morning (sent during hair & makeup).
<Tiger Cub, 07:32> Oppa the makeup is too soft⊠I look like a doll again đŁ
[photo attached: close-up selfie of her bare face with barely any make-up, accentuating her youthful vibe.]
And to no surprise, she unsent it 20 seconds later, which you managed to screenshot before it's gone.
The photographer calls for a wardrobe adjustment, and Leeseo disappears behind the partition.
You hear rustling, then her sharp voice pierces through the air: âOppa! Come here a second!â
You ignore her cries, admiring the screenshot for a moment more before sighing and closing the gallery app.
You walk over and she pokes her head out. Her hair is slightly mussed, cheeks flushed. âI changed my mind. Iâm wearing the mesh top. I need to feel like me today.â
She holds up the sheer black mesh top from the day earlier, the one you rejected.
You stare at it, and then back at her.
âNo.â
She bleps at you again and hides back into the changing room. The next thing you know, she steps out fully, already wearing it over her jersey. The mesh clings, sheer enough to show the pink-and-white baseball print underneath.
She spins around defiantly.
âSee? Super chic. Fans will love it.â
You step inside and growl at her low so the crew doesn't hear.
âTake it off. Now.â
Her eyes flash with hurt from your words, then instantly switch to anger.
âWhy? Because itâs too sexy? Because Iâm not allowed to be hot? Because you think Iâm still just a baby?â
Her voice cracks on the last word.
Your blood boils. You whip out your phone and take a picture of her. You tap on your phone and send it to her.
<You, 14:38> Lee Hyunseo. Image first. You know why. You look atrocious.
You attach the photo you took along with the message.
âWhy are you texting me when you're right here!â she growls at you. â And no. I donât know why. You always say that. âImage first.â âSafe first.â âFans first.â What about me first? What about what I want?â
You raise your phone to type another message again, but she pushes you back against the partition wall, body flush with yours.
âYou're always on that god damn phone, smiling at it. You think I didn't notice? Am I that unattractive that you're ignoring me?â
Her breath is warm on your neck as her hands fist your shirt. âGive it to me. Let me see what you're always looking at.â
She yanks it from you with an unfounded monstrous strength, trying to open your past launched apps. In a panic, you scuffle with her, trying to stop her, both your fingers clambering over the screen. You manage to snatch it back for a moment, but the gallery app has already been launched. You try to bolt out of the changing room, but she yanks the phone back, hiding in the corner, blocking your advances with her back to you as she crouches.
You can't even attempt to snatch it back now without using force. But you couldn't even think about laying a finger on her â let alone hurting herâ just to get it back.
âHyunseo⊠give it back.â
Your voice is low, almost pleading, but she doesn't care.
âIf you wonât treat me like an adult, Iâll find someone who will,â she growls with her teeth grinding against each other, swiping through your gallery. âWhat's this? Wonyoung, Yujin, Wonyoung, Liz, Liz, Rei, Gaeul, Wonyoung, Gaeul, Yujin? No pictures of me?â
âNo Hyunseoâthatâs not what it looksââ
âYou really hate me huh?â Her voice trembles with hurt and anger, cracking into something raw as she stands up and shoves you to the wall.
âNot here. Not like this,â you murmur urgently. âIâll explain it to you later. Not now.â
She searches your face with her eyes wet and pupils blown.
âIf not now then when? When Iâm not cute anymore? When Iâm not your baby maknae? Will you finally look at me then? Am I not even worthy of your gallery?â
Her lower lip quivers.
You feel the crack in your restraint.
You want to tell her.
Your jaw clenches so hard it aches.
Your breathing hitches.
You grab her hands, fingers tightening around her wrists. It's not bruising, but enough that she feels the tension in every tendon.
She notices and leans in closer, lips inches from yours. âSee? You do want me. You just wonât admit it.â
You hold her gaze, looking into her deep, wanting eyes. Your head dips, mouth hovering over hers. It's close enough that you can taste the cherry gloss on her breath, close enough to feel the heat radiating from her skin.
She closes her eyes, waiting for you to move, lashes trembling as her eyelids shiver. The air between you crackles with anticipation, thick with years of unspoken want.
Every molecule is cheering you on.
Your grip on her wrists tightens, thumbs brushing the inside of her pulse points, feeling her heart race.
She shivers, thighs pressing together instinctively.
You lean just a little more, nose brushing against hers..
Her lips part as she exhales softly against your mouth, blowing the cheering air particles away.
And then you stop.
You freeze and pull back abruptly, releasing her wrists as if burned.
âGo finish the shoot. In the approved outfit.â
She stares at you with tears brimming in her eyes.
âYou always do this⊠get close then leave. Am I that hard to want?â
Her voice cracks on the last word. âYou used to stay. You used to hold on longer. When did you start letting go?â
She doesnât wait for an answer. She already knows you wonât give one anyway. She turns away with her shoulders shaking. The same way they shook as the day you first pulled back three years ago. The very same day where the articles of her rumored boyfriend came out and the manager quietly told you âno more late-night convenience runs together".
The rest of the shoot goes smoothly on the surface.
She smiles for the camera as if nothing had happened, but every time the photographer calls âbreak,â she glances at you to check if youâre still watching.
You are.
Always.
Every break between takes she sneaks behind the partition again and you feel your phone buzz every single time.
<Tiger Cub, 15:20> Iâm sorry for pushing you earlier
<Tiger Cub, 15:20> I just get so scared you donât want me
She doesnât send anything else.
You screenshot it and drag it into âCries.â
But during the next break, your phone buzzes again.
<Tiger Cub, 15:40> You really mean it? Youâll talk later?
<You, 15:40> Yes.
<Tiger Cub, 15:40> Because I canât keep pretending I donât feel this way. It hurts too much.
<You, 15:40> I know.
<Tiger Cub, 15:41> Then why do you keep acting like Iâm nothing?
You don't reply.
The photographer calls her back.
The shoot continues.
Later, during a lighting adjustment, Leeseoâs posing on a raised platform. She steps back too quickly and her foot catches a cable. She stumbles backward.
You move before you think, lunging forward from the sides to catch her elbow, steadying her against your chest.
She gasps with the same sharp inhale as all the falls she had in the past.
And her body freezes in your grip the exact same way it did back then.
Her hand instinctively curls around your forearm â muscle memory.
And your sleeve rides up, showing the faded cat keychain on your wrist that glints under the lights.
She sees it and freezes again. Yes, you already know by now: Lee Hyunseo is synonymous with freezing.
Her fingers brush it unconsciously and she whispers, âYou still⊠have thisâŠ?â
You donât answer, thumb brushing her elbow the same way you used to steady her scraped knee. You release her slowly. She steps back with her cheeks burning, but the look in her eyes has changed.
The photographer yells at the crew to tidy up the place, to make sure that hazards are minimised. Then he calls her name.
The shoot wraps at 5 p.m.
She disappears into the changing room without a word. You wait outside, leaning against the wall, phone in hand, waiting until it buzzes.
<Tiger Cub, 17:10> Iâm sorry for being weird today. Donât hate me okay?
<Tiger Cub, 17:10> âŠYou still there?
You type back.
<You, 17:11> Iâm always here. Good job today.
<Tiger Cub, 17:12> Promise youâll come to the group dinner tomorrow? I need to talk. For real.
You stare at the screen.
<You, 17:12> Iâll be there.
<Tiger Cub, 15:13> â€ïž
You screenshot it and save it, before finally leaving the studio.
You open the folder labelled âLâ as you take the cab back, scrolling through years of her deleted messages again.
You let the smallest, softest smile cross your face.
***
The long table is crowded with the team: IVE members laughing too loud, makeup artists stealing bites of dessert, the manager pouring soju with practiced ease, the CEO at the head raising his glass every few minutes to toast âour rising stars.â
Leeseo sits across from you, pink-cheeked from two shots too many, pigtails slightly loose, eyes bright but restless.
Sheâs been watching you all night.
Yujin is on your left â arm slung casually over your shoulders, laughing at the managerâs bad joke, fingers occasionally tapping your collarbone when she talks.
Wonyoung is on your right â leaning into your side when sheâs tired, head resting briefly on your shoulder, hand brushing your sleeve as she reaches for a drink.
Itâs normal.
Itâs always been normal.
But tonight it isnât.
Every time when Yujin ruffles your hair or when Wonyoung leans close to whisper something, Leeseoâs smile tightens.
Her chopsticks stab at her food a little harder.
Her foot bounces under the table.
Her eyes flick between you and her two favourite unnies over and over, like sheâs trying to solve a puzzle that keeps changing shape.
The makeup artist next to her notices â nudges her gently.
âYou okay, Leeseo-ya?â
Leeseo forces a laugh.
âTotally fine! Just⊠happy!â
She downs another shot and grimaces at the bitterness â she clearly doesn't like the taste â then reaches across the table, snatching a piece of fried chicken from your plate.
âMine now,â she declares playfully, but her eyes stay locked on Yujinâs arm around your shoulders.
You donât react. You just push the plate closer so she can take more.
The manager chuckles at her. âStill stealing his food, huh? Some things never change.â
The CEO smiles knowingly.
âWeâve all watched you two grow up together. Itâs nice to see.â
Leeseo freezes mid-bite, cheeks flushing.
The table goes quiet for a beat with everyone smiling, exchanging glances.
Yujin ruffles your hair casually again, mumbling tipsily, âOur oppaâs too stubborn to admit anything, though.â
Wonyoung giggles, clearly lighthead from the beer, head still on your shoulder. âHeâs always been like that. Protecting her from everything, even herself.â
Leeseoâs chopsticks clatter against her plate.
She stares at everyone.
âYou all know⊠donât you?â
The makeup artist nods softly. âEveryone knows you two like each other. Weâve known for years.â
The manager adds gently, âHeâs just scared of what will happen if the world finds out. Thatâs all.â
Leeseo looks at Yujin â then Wonyoung â then back at you.
âThen why wonât you ever just⊠say it?â
You meet her trembling eyes, and as usual, you donât speak.
Her face crumples.
She stands up in a fit, chair scraping loudly. âIâm tired of this. Iâm tired of watching you let them touch you like that. Iâm tired of being the baby everyone protects. Iâm tired of pretending I donât feel this way every single day!â
Tears spill from her eyes.
âYou used to catch me every time I fell. You used to stay even when I was a mess. When did I become the mess youâre afraid to touch?â
She bites her lower lips and grabs her bag, bolting out of the restaurant.
The table falls silent.
âAlright, I think we went too far with the teasing,â the CEO sighs fondly. âGo after her, kid. It's raining heavily. Before she catches a cold.â
You stand immediately, tipping the chair over as you run out into the rain.
Yujin and Wonyoung follow close behind.
Right outside, the rain is pouring in sheets.
Leeseo is crouched under an awning again, entirely soaked, arms wrapped around her knees, face buried as her shoulders shake. You run up, take your jacket off and drape it over her back, lifting the hood up to shield her face.
She flinches and looks up at you.
Rain streams down her cheeks, mixing with tears. Her eyes are red, mascara smudged in dark streaks as her lips tremble. âWhy did you follow?â she chokes out. âJust leave me alone!â
You kneel, onto the ground as the rain soaks you both. You cup her face with both hands, thumbs brushing the rain and her tears away under your hood.
âI canât,â you say. âI never could.â
Yujin and Wonyoung appear at the doorway with umbrellas open, but they stop there, watching silently, giving you space.
Leeseo cries even louder.
âIâm tired⊠Iâm so tired of watching you with them. Of feeling like Iâm not enough. Of pretending I donât feel this way every single day.â
She tries to pull away, but your hold steadies her.
âDid I ever say youâre not? Youâre enough,â you say. âYouâve always been enough.â
She shakes her head, tears falling faster. âThen why wonât you ever just⊠say it? Why do you keep acting like Iâm invisible?â
She looks down at her hands.
âI used to think⊠if I was good enough, youâd never leave. Now Iâm scared that even if Iâm perfect, youâll still leave.â
You inch closer, rain dripping from your hair onto her face.
âBecause Iâm terrified. One photo. One rumor. One wrong look from the wrong person and your career could end. I canât risk that.â
Her eyes widen.
âBut Iâm done hiding it,â you say.
She stares at you.
You cup her face again, thumbs tracing her cheekbones. âDid you think I didnât want you? Iâve wanted you since we were kids. The girl who dragged me into every puddle, who laughed too loud when she was scared, who cried when she thought no one was looking. I donât care about perfect. I care about you. Every chaotic, beautiful, messy part.â
âJust show her your damn phone already, you idiot,â Wonyoung shouts at you from the door.
You nod and pull out your phone with one hand, shielding it from the rain with your body. You launch the gallery app and open the âLâ folder. âWhat you saw that day wasn't because I didn't keep any photo of you,â you explain. You tap into the sub-folders: âPouts,â âCries,â âSparks,â âLaughs,â âOld.â
You tilt it toward her, showing her everything that you kept as the rain blurring the edges.
âI kept every piece. Because I love every piece.â
A sob breaks from her throat.
Leeseo throws herself into your arms, face buried in your neck, fingers clutching your shirt.
âYou⊠kept all my stupid messages. All my chaosâŠâ
You wrap around her tightly, one hand cradling the back of her head, the other on her waist.
âI'm sorry if I made you feel unwantedâŠâ
She pulls back from you, eyes searching yours as the rain streams down both your faces.
Then she surges up.
She kisses you.
Heavily.
Passionately.
Years of tension crashing together in the downpour.
Her lips are cold from the rain but warm underneath, tasting like salt and soju and everything youâve wanted since you were old enough to understand what wanting felt like.
You kiss back hard, one hand sliding into her wet hair, the other pulling her closer by the waist. She makes a small, broken sound against your mouth, fingers digging into your shoulders. You tilt her head and deepen the kiss as the rain drips from your lashes onto her cheeks. She melts entirely in the cold shower, body molding to yours.
When you finally pull back, you're both gasping, foreheads pressed together.
âI love you too⊠Iâve loved you forever,â she whispers.
Yujin and Wonyoung watch from the doorway, smiling softly. âJust so you know, everyone inside is looking at you two,â Yujin teases, before quietly stepping back inside.
You pull back and brush wet hair from her face.
âWeâll figure it out. Slowly. Safely.â
She nods, smiling through tears.
âTogether?â
âTogether.â
âGuess Iâm still a mess,â she grins at you.
âMy favorite mess.â
***
A/N #2: I wrote fluff. I really can't bring myself to write smut for Leeseo yet. I hope you won't be disappointed that I didn't write smut. I will try to improve on my lacklustre fluff skills~ â€ïž This is dedicated to my princess.












