#leesem

Time passed differently when the whole world was dark and dead. Hyunjoo wasn’t sure exactly how long it had been since she put that black blindfold on, locking herself into a endless sea of darkness, but it had been long enough that she’d all but forgotten how light or the blue sky looked. All she knew was black cotton. But maybe that was a good thing. Nothing in the world was worth looking at anymore. She didn’t have to see the corpses littering the streets or the bloody scabs on her throbbing feet from miles upon miles of endless walking. It was hard enough to feel those things: not seeing saved her from the pain of reality, just a little bit. It kept her safe in more ways than one.

Plus, she had her own light.

It wasn’t long after she joined up with a group of survivors that they found you. Had it not been for Sehun’s dog Vivi, they might have missed you completely. You were cowering in the corner of a local grocery store in a recently-afflicted town, shaking with your hands pressed tightly over your eyes, not making a sound until Vivi ran to your side and began to bark.

At the loud sound, you’d started to cry, body weakly slumping against one of the shelves. Sera, the leader of the group, slowly made her way over as Sehun picked Vivi up, listening closely. Your sobs were much louder than the crunch of glass under their feet.

“Is that... a person?” Sera asked softly, her hand brushing against the shelves. “If you’re there.... You can talk to us. I know it’s been scary. But we can help.”

You cried a moment longer, and the sound broke Hyunjoo’s heart as she crept up behind Sera. She’d gotten used to being blind by now, and could tell about how far away you were from the sound of your cries, although she could not see you. “What’s your name?” She asked gently, not wanting to startle you any more.

“I-I’m (Y/N),” you said finally, your voice hoarse. Hyunjoo guessed that you’d probably been hiding in the store for days without food or water, too afraid to move your hands away from your eyes. “How did you all get away? F-from that thing?”

“Luck,” Sera said bluntly. “We managed to cover our eyes in time and find each other. Are you covering your eyes?”

“Yes. But I can’t do anything or I’ll have to bring my hands away from my eyes.”

“I have an extra blindfold,” offered Seolhyun, another member of the group, shuffling through her bag. “Just give me a second to get over there and find you.” She was new to not seeing the world, and immediately tripped as she got close to the corner, barely catching herself on another shelf.

“I’ll take it,” Hyunjoo offered, finding her easy enough with her stick. Seolhyun quickly handed it over. The trick to seeing with your senses, Hyunjoo had learned, was concentration. She moved forward slowly, her hand running along the shelf she knew you were sitting by until your breathing became loud. Then she crouched down and moved her hand in front of her until it hit your shoulder, causing you to jump. “It’s just me,” she said, palming the blindfold and running her hand up your neck to your face. “Bring your hands down but keep your eyes closed, okay?”

“Okay,” you whispered, and obeyed. After finding your eyes, she quickly tied the blindfold tight around your head.

“Does that feel right?” She asked, moving back. She could hear fabric moving in front of her, and figured that it must be you fixing the cloth.

“Yeah. Now it does. Can I open my eyes?”

“Yeah.”

You inhaled a deep breath as Hyunjoo stood up, listening closely. Then you let out a sigh, broken by a half-sob. “It’s just darkness. It’s awful.”

“You’ll get used to it,” she said, and reached down to grab your hand. “I’ll help you up. How long is it since you had water or food?”

Your grasp was weak, and it worried her as she helped you to your unsteady feet. “I-I don’t know. I had a soda that I was drinking with my eyes closed, but it ran out and I was too scared too move. I had a granola bar, too, after it first happened.”

“How long ago did it happen?” Sera asked. Hyunjoo knew why she was asking: they were trying to outrace the monsters to figure out a pattern. There never seemed to be any pattern or any sliver of hope, but they tried.

“I think three or four days ago? I’m not sure.... I think I passed out at some point, honestly.” You shuddered in Hyunjoo’s arms and she bit her lip, worried. You were cold and weak. You wouldn’t survive long like this.

“We’ll get some food and water in you. That’s why we’re here anyway. Once we have all the supplies we can find, we’ll move on.” She wasn’t sure she liked the idea of you walking such long distances in the state you were in, but they had no choice but to move on. Staying in one space for too long was dangerous. Especially a place already attacked. “Do you know if anyone else is alive?”

Immediately, you began to cry again, leaning into Hyunjoo’s shoulder. She held you a bit tighter as the sobs wrecked your body, her heart hurting. The room stayed silent as you cried: they all knew the pain you were feeling. “J-just me,” you finally managed to get out, hiccuping and sucking in breath. “M-my family, they all....”

Hyunjoo was so glad that you couldn’t see. Just from moving through the store, she knew the damage. Her stomach twisted as she rubbed your back, trying to comfort you even though she knew nothing she could do would really help. “You don’t have to say it,” she assured you. “Come on, let’s get something for you to eat.” She helped you out of your hiding spot, guiding you the best she could while being blind herself. No matter how many times your legs gave out or you tripped, she held you up, and made a promise to herself.

She was going to take care of you, no matter what. She wanted you to live.

-

It was a while before you learned how to walk blind. For the first few weeks, Hyunjoo helped you walk, supporting most of your weight with your arm around her shoulders. You stumbled often, both from weakness and from not being able to see. Hyunjoo tried her best to warn you of anything in front of you, swinging her stick an extra length in your path, but you usually ended up tripping anyway. When the group was resting, you got around by crawling on your hands and knees. But you didn’t leave her side very often.

She shared everything with you: her food, her water, her blanket, and even her jacket, wrapping her arms around you as the temperatures dropped until they were able to salvage more coats. She often slept by your side, waiting until you drifted off despite the threat to her life. She’d given you her earplugs, leaving herself open to hear the voices that often came with nightfall. The voices were nothing new to her, though, and she’d learned to block them out. You had needed them more.

One night, she awoke to your voice. At first, she thought it was the creature, and stayed silent, not moving. But then you softly called her name again, and tugged at her sleeve. “Hyunjoo?”

“Yes, (Y/N)?”

“I’m cold. And scared.” The group had camped up against the mouth of a cave for the night. It was shelter from the nightly rains, but the ground was still cold, and your clothes were still wet from the previous day. It was a miserable night. Shivering, Hyunjoo rolled over and wrapped her arms around you, holding you tight.

“I know,” she said, whispering so that she wouldn’t wake the others or attract attention. “I’m right here.”

You snuggled into her, burying your face into her shoulder. It had become almost a habit for you, ever since you’d left the store in her arms. “Do you think it’ll warm up soon?”

“I hope so. But I don’t know. We’re heading south so we should be hitting a warmer climate soon.”

“I hope so.” You paused for a moment and your breathing evened. For a moment, she thought you might have fallen asleep. Then you shifted in her arms. “Why are you so nice to me?”

The question struck her in the heart. Your voice was broken, raspy from your new cold, and she held you closer, willing the chill to go away. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You don’t know me. Not really. We’ve never even seen each other.”

“You don’t have to see someone to know them, (Y/N).” She ran her fingers through your hair slowly. “But I guess to answer your question, I’m nice to you because I care about you. I’ve been drawn to you ever since I met you in that store.”

“Is it because you pity me?”

“Maybe back then. But it’s also because I see myself in you.”

You paused. “You do?”

“Yep. I also lost everything and everyone I loved. I sat in my house for days on end with my eyes covered, shaking and lost, until I had to leave for my own survival. I had to learn how to survive even though it was hard. When I saw you there, I understood what you were going through. I wanted to help you, because I wanted to make things a litter easier for you. The more I get to know you, though, the more I like you. You’re a good person, (Y/N). I think you’re the first person to make me smile in a long time.”

“Oh.” You were silent for another long moment. “I like you too, Hyunjoo. Thank you. For everything.” You snuggled in closer, getting comfortable, and she took a deep breath, closing her eyes.

You helped her a lot more than you knew. You gave her a purpose again.

-

Eventually, you got used to living on the run. You still cried often, curling into Hyunjoo’s side, but you tripped less and learned how to navigate this new world. Still, the moment they found a safe house, Hyunjoo was relieved.

Abandoned houses were nothing new. Almost every house was now abandoned or boarded up with no hope of anyone allowing anyone else inside. She didn’t blame those people: she’d heard about the followers of the creature too. This house, though.... It was different. It had been abandoned long before the creature, but most importantly, Vivi liked it.

Typically, the growing would start as soon as a door was opened, signalling that the place was unsafe. But with this house, Vivi did not growl. She didn’t even bark. Instead, as the group slowly explored with their hands, she wagged her tail, hitting Sehun’s leg.

“There’s no creatures here,” he said, confident, sitting down against one of the walls and petting Vivi’s head. “Just us.”

“How can we be so sure?” Sera’s voice rang through the large empty space.

“Because Vivi is never wrong. She knows what she sees. And she doesn’t see anything but the people she trusts here.”

The group shuffled towards Sehun, gathering together. With a sigh, Sera ran her thin fingers through her hair. “We do need somewhere to stay. But I’m not very keen on the idea of taking our blindfolds off.”

“Why?” You asked, and Hyunjoo flinched. She knew what was coming.

“Because you never know when that thing will get in.” Sera’s tone of voice changed, bitterness seeping through with every word. “Or who might get in with that thing behind them. I trusted a place enough to take off my blindfold once, only to watch my entire group be murdered by a maniac who had pretended to be one of us. He forced their eyes open and laughed at our panic. Some of us escaped, but we were forced to leave our blindfolds behind.” Her voice lowered. “I was the only one who made it. I got to cradle the dead body of my girlfriend in my arms after she accidentally opened her eyes, then used her own weapon to kill herself. That’s why I don’t like the idea of taking our blindfolds off.”

The room was silent, and Hyunjoo put her arm around you for support. She could feel you shaking.

“S-sorry,” you said, your head hanging. “I didn’t know.”

“Well, now you do.” Sera placed her bag on the ground with a loud “thud” and sighed once more. “I will say that I trust Vivi, though. I think we can stay here for a while. At least until the cold front ends. But no taking your blindfolds off. Is that clear?”

A chorus of yes’s answered her question. Minho, a large military man who had been the one to find Sera, cleared his throat. “We should find something to board the windows up with. The back windows are already boarded but it looks like the boards from the front windows fell away. I think I found some wood over in the corner where the kitchen is. The water still works, surprisingly, so we have a source of water now.”

“And there’s a fireplace,” Seolhyun added. “I tripped over it.”

“Great. Let’s get to work making this place warm and livable. Don’t get too comfortable, though. We could have to move at any moment.”

-

Hyunjoo had forgotten how nice it felt to be warm. Her new cough rattled her body, but sitting by the fire helped ward off the feeling of death in her lugs, so she stayed as close as she could without getting set on fire. You often joined her there, even as your own cold got better with the heat and drinking water, cuddling with her and helping her keep dry and hydrated. After all the time she spent looking after you, you were now looking after her.

“I wish we had medicine,” you said once, shaking your head as you leaned against her. “But we can’t read the labels, so we don’t know what they are.”

“You’re right. This has really made me realize how little the world cares about blindness. Almost everything requires sight.”

It was rare that the two of you were left alone. But one day, She awoke in front of the fire to you combing her hair, her head on your lap, and no other sounds in the house.

“Where did everyone go,” she asked with a rasp, listening closely for any sign of life. There was no one, other than you.

“They said not to wake you, but a lot of them went out to try and find supplies. They took Vivi with them. I think Seolhyun is still sleeping in the kitchen.”

“Oh. So it’s pretty much just us?”

“Yep.”

She laid there for a while, half asleep, letting you comb through her hair, before turning over to wrap her arm around your torso, nuzzling her nose into your stomach. You were warm now, cold gone, and she appreciated the quiet intimacy, happy to lay there forever and fight with the occasional cough as you took care of her.

“Hyunjoo?” Your voice was soft and affectionate, and she loved the sound of it.

“Hm?”

“I like you.”

She smiled a bit. “I would hope so.”

“No, not like that. Well, like that too, but also... I think I’m in love with you.”

Back in her normal life, a confession like that would have rocked her. But now, it just seemed right. As soon as you said it, she knew it was true, and she knew that the feelings she’d had for you had been love for a while now. Smiling widely, she reached up to touch your cheek, proud when you leaned into her touch instead of flinching away.

“I love you too, (Y/N).”

“Really?” She felt your cheek move under her hand, signalling that you were smiling. It made her heart swell with affection in her chest.

“Really.” She sat up slowly, ignoring the pain in her lungs, and positioned herself in front of you. Her other hand now came up to roam your face, taking in your features with her sensitive fingers. She ran them over your nose, over your cheekbones and your jaw, over your ears and your forehead, and pressed them against your blindfold, running her thumbs along the outline of your eyes. “I think your incredible,” she said, making you laugh.

“Was that your way of seeing me?” You sounded a little breathless, your face now much closer to hers.

“Yes. Why don’t you try?”

At her suggestion, you brought your hands up, tentatively touching her face and exploring her features. You moved slow, taking every part of her in and stopping over the scar on her cheek, touch even more gentle as you ran your finger over it. “What’s this from?”

“I fell,” she said, smiling at the memory. It hadn’t been funny then, but it was amusing looking back. She’d come so far since she first started out. “I was just as clumsy as you when I first escaped too.”

“Somehow I can’t imagine that.” You pressed your forehead against hers. “You’re just so perfect.”

“I’m not, but thank you.” She could feel your breath on her lips. “Can I kiss you?”

You let out a giggle, your hands landing on her shoulders as you pulled her in. “Please do.”

It felt good to kiss someone. To feel intimate with someone again. Her body had so craved that human interaction, and your lips brought light back into her life. More even than you had on your own. She kissed you until her lungs burned and her lips tingled and she had to pull away to cough, making you laugh.

“Lay down,” you said, lowering her back down into your lap. “You need to sleep.”

When she woke up again, it was to the sound of the group coming back into the house, and to the warmth of you laid down beside her, your head in her crook of her shoulder.

-

In the dead of the night months later, Hyunjoo awoke with a jolt. She lay still, controlling her breathing as she listened. What had woken her up? Everyone in the group was there. She could hear them breathing, some snoring, and you were by her side as you always were. Nothing had changed since she went to sleep. So what was it? Had it been some sound? An animal, maybe?

Somewhere near the door, Vivi shifted. She heard her nails scraping on the wood floor as something woke the dog. So she wasn’t alone. Something was happening.

Vivi had hardly gotten in a bark when something slammed into the door hard enough to splinter the hinges. Hyunjoo sat up, bringing you up with her as everyone else came awake as well, shuffling in their blankets and grabbing for their weapons. Vivi barked and growled and the door shuddered under some weight one again. Sera let out a gasp as Hyunjoo got to her feet, helping you up as well.

“That’s a human, we have to get out of here, we can’t-.”

The door splintered and broke open with a sickening crack, making you scream as both of you stumbled backwards. Laughter came from outside the door and Hyunjoo’s heart sank. That wasn’t the sound of one person. That was a group.

“We found you!” Said a man’s booming voice, and a woman laughed behind him.

“Don’t be scared! We’re only here to help you see!”

“Run!” At Sera’s words, the group scattered. Hyunjoo couldn’t see, but she knew where she’d been sleeping, and she knew how to get to the back door. With her own knife in hand, she grabbed you and pulled you away, running towards the door. Behind her, Seolhyun screamed and then the man screamed. Vivi let out a wail as she was kicked into the wall, and Sehun cursed. Hyunjoo didn’t look back.

She found the door just as it was flung open by someone outside.

“Hello. We have another door!” A woman, a different woman, said in a sing-song voice. Hyunjoo stepped back, moving you behind her as she tried to listen. The screams and chaos behind her make her stomach sick, but she had to listen in order to escape. Three people she did not know where now in the house, leaving one in front of her. With the door open, she could hear the sounds from outside, and yet she heard to footsteps. There was only one woman at this door.

“Hyunjoo,” you said, voice shaking, but Hyunjoo stood firm. The woman’s hands grabbed her shoulders and she pulled out the knife, stabbing forward with all her strength.

Her blade made impact and the woman gurgled, stumbling back. With a jerk, Hyunjoo withdrew her blade and shoved the woman to the side, pulling you out the door with her. The two of you ran a couple paced before she stopped and turned around, listening. The struggle inside had gotten worse, and she couldn’t hear anyone else outside. Usually she trusted her friends to fend for themselves, but panic boiled up in her throat and she gripped her knife.

“I need to go back in there and help.” Her heart was pounding, her entire body racing with adrenaline as she stepped forward, but you grabbed her arm, holding her back.

“You can’t go back in there, you might die!”

“But everyone else, I don’t think they’ll-!”

She didn’t get to finish her sentence. A blast of unbearable hot air shoved the two of you forward, sending you tumbling into the dead grass and dirt. The boom came seconds later, rocking the earth underneath your hands and feet. Then it was silent.

For a moment, she lay still in shock, trying to process what had happened. Nothing moved. Nothing made noise. The only sound was your hitched breathing, the crackle of a fire, and the pounding of her heart in her ears. Tears pricked at her eyes as she slowly pushed herself up from the ground, reality crashing down around her.

“T-they-.” She cut herself off, turning over so that she was facing the house. She still couldn’t see, but she could feel the heat of a huge fire dancing across her skin. “They’re all dead.” The tears began to stream down her face now as she sat in the dirt, the back of her neck burned and blood on her hands. The only family that she’d known for so long... gone. Everything was over in the matter of minutes. A sob wrecked her sore lungs and shook her entire body. Her friends. The people who had fought for so long to survive. It had all been for nothing.

“Oh, Hyunjoo.” You wrapped your arms around her as she sobbed, leaning her body forward into yours. The fire was so warm, yet she felt so cold. The world felt empty. You were crying too, your body shivering against hers and your tears dripping down onto her shoulders. As much as she wanted to hold you, she couldn’t. Her body wouldn’t move as she sobbed more than she had in what felt like an eternity, letting out everything that she’d bottled up for so long.

“I-I could have saved them,” she sobbed, still clutching at the knife that now seemed useless. “I could have woken them up sooner, I could have fought back, I could-.”

“Hyunjoo!” You interrupted her, clearing your throat and holding back your tears for the moment. “It’s not your fault.”

“But I woke up before everyone else, I should have warned them then. Or I should have stayed behind to help them fight.”

“It’s not your fault,” you repeated. “You couldn’t have known. And had you stayed behind, we both would be dead right now. You saved our lives.”

“But I couldn’t save them.”

“You can’t save everyone, Hyunjoo.... Not in this world.”

She shuddered, leaning her entire weight into you and letting you support her. “I hate this world,” she whispered, heartbroken. For a moment, you were silent, but then you brought your hand up to run in through her hair, soothing the pain with your gentle hand.

“So do I,” you admitted, whispering in return. “But I don’t hate that I’m here with you.” You took a deep breath. “We need to start walking. This place isn’t safe anymore.”

“But what’s the point?” For the first time in her life, she didn’t have the energy. She wanted to lay down and give up. To succumb to the heat of the fire that had taken away those so precious to her. Her life was over. But you shook her by the shoulders, pulling away ever so slightly and jolting her back to reality. Shocked, she tilted her head up as you spoke.

“No, don’t say that! There’s a point to living! There’s always a point! Hyunjoo, I love you. I want to live on with you. When I wanted to give up, you came in and gave me a reason to live. You supported me through my worst times. You helped me become strong. You gave me a will to keep fighting even though I had lost everything.” Your voice wavered and you stopped to contain yourself before continuing. “You helped me, so now I’ll help you. I’ll support you. I’ll help you move forward when you’re too tired or hurt to continue. I’ll carry you if I have to. But please. My love. Keep living.”

Another tear ran down her face as she sat up. For a moment, she imagined that she could see your face. That she could see her light, with your smile she loved to run her fingers over. What did you look like now? Was there determination shining in your eyes? She took a deep breath and it rattled her lungs. She was sick, her gear had just been destroyed, and almost everyone she cared about was gone. You were still there, holding her up in her weakest moment, but she was scared.

“What if we just die, and it’s all for nothing?”

You paused for a long moment, just holding her, before standing to your feet and helping her up as well. When she was standing, you took her arm and cupped her cheek with your hand. Somehow, the fire had started to die down, and somewhere, the sun was rising.